High Fives and Happiness: Your Path to Self-Validation with Mel Robbins.
EPISODE 231
In the last episode of our Mel Robbins Series, we discuss "The High 5 Habit".
"The High 5 Habit" by Mel Robbins. Embrace a life of celebration, self-acceptance, and unstoppable optimism with "The High 5 Habit." It's not just a gesture; it's a powerful journey of self-validation and transformation that starts with YOU. Imagine a world where you cheer for yourself and see and appreciate your worth every day. Because here's the truth: if you don't uplift your dreams, who else will?
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Watch this episode on YouTube
Summary
Picture this: as you stand before the mirror each morning, take a moment to greet your reflection with a high five. It's not about seeing your physical self but connecting with the vibrant YOU within. With each high five, you say, "I see you, and you've got this!" This simple act sets the stage for a day filled with positivity, motivation, and resilience.
Research reveals the remarkable impact of a high five. You'll find renewed enthusiasm and persistence like kids motivated by this gesture. Look to NBA teams – those united by high fives – thriving through trust and collaboration. It's about fostering a culture of celebration and encouragement, beginning with your relationship with yourself.
Elevate your happiness by being kind to yourself. The power of self-acceptance, acknowledged by researchers, holds the key to your ultimate contentment. In a world where external validation often prevails, being your cheerleader becomes a transformative habit. Release the cycle of self-critique inherited from the past, and nurture a newfound relationship of self-love.
Embrace the simplicity of "The High 5 Habit." Each morning, step before the mirror and connect with your reflection. High-five yourself, a powerful declaration of self-assurance. As the rest of the day unfolds, prioritize yourself through simple promises, creating a high five morning. By focusing on your needs and goals before external distractions, you empower yourself to shine.
Buy The Book on Amazon https://geni.us/AxekZWp
Get the summary via Blinkist https://blinkist.o6eiov.net/MmBxXq
Become a Moonshot Member https://www.patreon.com/Moonshots
Watch this episode on YouTube
Remember, it's the simplicity that fuels the magic. Embrace the power of a high five – a beacon of celebration, encouragement, and self-belief. Transform your life, starting from within. You deserve to be celebrated – so start today and high-five your way to greatness!
Runsheet
**Clip 1 - INTRO: The High 5 Habit (1m24)**
Mel Robbins begins the podcast by introducing the concept of the "High 5 Habit," a practice designed to kickstart your day positively by silencing your inner critic. She highlights the importance of overcoming self-doubt and negative self-talk. This habit aims to boost self-confidence and set a constructive tone for the day ahead.
**Clip 2 - WHAT IS THE HABIT: Set your own tone (50s)**
In this segment, ReadAndGrow breaks down the "High 5 Habit." The focus is on accepting yourself, your flaws, and your strengths. Acknowledging and embracing your identity can set a positive tone for your day. This practice involves giving yourself a figurative high-five and appreciating your authenticity.
**Clip 3 - AUTHENTICITY: Embrace the uncertainty (3m47)**
Mel Robbins and Evan engage in a discussion about authenticity and self-acceptance. They explore the idea that accepting oneself is interconnected with accepting others. Embracing uncertainties and vulnerabilities is a vital part of authenticity. The conversation delves into how embracing imperfections and uncertainties can lead to more fulfilling connections.
**Clip 4 - OUTRO: Simple hack for stress and anxiety (1m)**
Mel Robbins concludes the podcast with a practical suggestion for managing stress and anxiety. She shares a simple mantra that listeners can repeat daily. This mantra is a quick and effective technique to reduce stress and anxiety, contributing to overall well-being and mental health.
Transcript
00:00:12:14 - 00:00:41:06
Unknown
Hello and welcome to the Moonshiners podcast. It's episode 231. I'm Neil, co-host my Passions. And as always, I'm joined by the man himself, Mr. Mark, Peace in Philly. Good morning, Mike. Hey, good morning, Mike. Good morning. Members, subscribers, listeners as well as viewers. Boy, do we have yet again, Mike, another action packed culmination in one of our brand new series on Mel Robbins.
00:00:41:08 - 00:01:03:07
Unknown
And boy, it's been a real treat, because I would have to say, Mark, that she has brought us some fresh, somewhat challenging early stage thinking she's not going to allow us to be a victim. She's not going to allow us to be in the passenger seat. She's going to put us in the driver's seat by getting our mindset correct.
00:01:03:09 - 00:01:37:25
Unknown
And she's intervening with all those nasty things such as self-doubt, procrastination or worry about the future. She's going to help us seize the day, make it happen. And this last installment is going to be no different, is it? You're totally right, Mike. We not only dove into that five second rule in episode 2 to 9, we then got into Stop saying you're fine last week and now might be diving into the high five Habit, which is essentially a global bestseller as well as sequel to a certain extent from the five second Rule.
00:01:37:25 - 00:01:54:19
Unknown
Obviously you're seeing a little bit of a pair there with the number five. I think that must be our lucky number, Mike. Maybe it's Mel's, but don't let that title fool you. It isn't just about going around you and me high fiving people in the street, Mike. This is not a habit where we're going to adopt it outside.
00:01:54:21 - 00:02:22:10
Unknown
Instead, I think think we're going to find out today is a little bit of a case of self-love as well as deep encouragement that you can give yourself. Now, Mike, I got to say, when we were preparing for this show and studying the book, the idea of giving yourself a high five, I'm lying head on like I'm pretty open to this kind of stuff, but I think this is an invitation.
00:02:22:10 - 00:02:45:18
Unknown
Let's together study this book, decode this book, challenge this book, and let's ask you, our viewers, listeners and members what you think. Can you see yourself high fiving yourself in the mirror? Well, that's just one of the ideas Mel Robbins has. So, Mark, I'm ready to get in there. And let's look at this thing. Let's challenge it. Let's see, is there something in there for us?
00:02:45:20 - 00:02:59:08
Unknown
Yeah, I totally agree. Let's dive in. Let's put up our moonshot hat and check out Mel Robbins, who's going to introduce us today. And the high five habit by breaking down what the high five habit is all about.
00:02:59:08 - 00:03:11:10
Unknown
Hey, it's Mel Robbins. And if you are struggling with energy and focus and discipline right now, I've got a simple science back thing for you to try that will immediately boost your mood.
00:03:11:12 - 00:03:28:02
Unknown
It will immediately build your confidence and it will give you the burst of inspiration and support that you need. I call it the high five habit. It's going to sound weird. Here's how you do it. Right after you brush your teeth in the morning. I want you to look at yourself. I want you to set an intention for today.
00:03:28:05 - 00:03:47:07
Unknown
Think about how you're going to show up, who you're going to be, and what matters to you to make progress on step. And then I want you to raise your hand. And high five, your reflection. And something crazy is going to happen as you raise your hand. You silence the critic in your mind and you seal that intention with your own reflection.
00:03:47:14 - 00:04:07:21
Unknown
And there's even more. All of the messaging associated with the high five. I believe in you. We got this. Let's go. Come on, now. Pick yourself up. Keep going. It's already in your brain. So when you high five, your own reflection, all that positive programing memories with your own reflection when you need it most. I know it sounds silly.
00:04:07:21 - 00:04:21:24
Unknown
It sounds weird, but please try it for five days and you'll be shocked at what happens and when you do. I'm going to tell you something. Your whole life will change because what's actually changing is you and network.
00:04:21:24 - 00:04:59:02
Unknown
Oh, my gosh. Mark, this is crazy, right? Because it sounds so woo woo. It sounds so naff at first. Listen, but if I take a step back, what I can start this conversation with when she said, like set an intention how you want to be today, who's going to show up and I have these moments sometimes like if I have a really important presentation or if I'm kicking off a big workshop, I really do journal and
00:04:59:04 - 00:05:28:12
Unknown
almost meditate on how I want to turn up. And in particular I do things not just like, Hey, I'm going to be prepared, I'm going to take my time, I'm going to connect with people. But I also do little nuance things like particularly with big events, sometimes you can get a bit overexcited. So I really try and like manage my energy, make sure that I'm pressing and I'm not too adrenalized for a big for a really big event.
00:05:28:15 - 00:05:52:04
Unknown
But I do definitely set those intentions. And I do have and you've got on screen here the day, the affirmations. I really believe in those things. But equally like if I have to produce a lot of writing in a day, I do at the beginning of the day actually really focus my intention on really producing the work to be productive, to really get on with it.
00:05:52:06 - 00:06:27:08
Unknown
Like I will skip checking any news. I will even delay looking at my emails and get up earlier so I can have one or 2 hours where I haven't even looked at my email yet. And I'm deep into the writing, deep into the work. So I think there's a big message here about having a clear intention of how you want to turn up for your day, as opposed to what I think a lot of this do is I think it's very easy just to get in the habit of you wake up and you shower and you have your breakfast and you go to work and you kind of the day unfolds as fate will have
00:06:27:08 - 00:06:55:16
Unknown
it right. But I think she's proposing a different way of the day going. But I'm not sure about the high fiving. Mark, you've got to help me here. Well, I think what you're touching upon there is is a nice build rather than being the passenger in your own life and therefore opening up the opportunity to say, oh, poor me, and things aren't going out how I dreamed them to.
00:06:55:19 - 00:07:19:09
Unknown
Maybe that's not a life skill. Maybe that's just something that happens in your day. You know, the bus is late or something small like that. And instead of having that mindset where you where you constantly refer to something is not ideal. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't how things should turn out. I think as we've discussed on the show before, that's kind of the opposite of what we've got up on screen.
00:07:19:09 - 00:07:43:13
Unknown
And for our listeners, as Mike's just mentioned, we've got some daily affirmations up on the screen. I think when I have found myself getting into a habit and we do it of focusing on the negative stuff, you know, it's too cold, I've tripped over the bus is like, whatever that might be, that's too much work. You sit in that negative mindset for maybe too long.
00:07:43:16 - 00:08:14:04
Unknown
Yeah. And for me, that becomes quite dangerous because then it's quite infectious. Suddenly, not only am I a little bit grumpy to hang out with those around me, but also I'll start doing it more and more. And where I think the power of something like daily affirmation or a habit as well is breaking down for us here. I think it snaps you out of it or quite literally slaps you out of it into a high five, because then you suddenly realize, Hang on, I don't need to go along and be that passenger.
00:08:14:06 - 00:08:34:22
Unknown
I don't need to accept things as they are. If I put a smile on my face, if I go out and just get on with the day and do the best that I can, at least I know that I have done the best I can. It's kind of like William H. McRaven. You know, you set your bed at the beginning of your day, then you're going to feel good when you get back into it at the end of the day.
00:08:34:24 - 00:08:58:12
Unknown
Whereas that ownership, I think, isn't always true, and I think that's where people tend to go wrong, Mike, because they aren't allowing themselves to essentially take control of those lives and be in that driving seat. What do you think? So I love the reference to William H. McRaven. Like if everything else goes wrong in the day at least you made your bed right.
00:08:58:12 - 00:09:27:11
Unknown
You got you got to win early. Right. I would say that high fiving yourself in the mirror, alpha male Robin style is really of the same vein of saying these daily affirmations that you've got here or sitting your intention. So journaling about how you want to act today, this week, I would also say that there is a really big opportunity here to go a little deeper.
00:09:27:13 - 00:09:59:02
Unknown
This is something that Goggins talks about people that really push themselves. So any sort of endurance athlete will know what this kind of means is like. I see here like an affirmation about I'm a winner, right? I get it done. I think that's really good, like crossing the finish line to use this metaphor. But if you want to take things another level, when I'm on the run, let's use running as the metaphor here.
00:09:59:04 - 00:10:25:01
Unknown
I don't only have a an affirmation about crossing the finish line or a vision of myself crossing the finish line. I also have a vision of myself overcoming fatigue in the middle of the race. I have a vision of myself training hard when I am tired. I have a vision of myself training when I'm not getting the results.
00:10:25:03 - 00:10:54:24
Unknown
But I don't stop because I actually think a lot of people suffer from not having. They have the big vision of crossing the line. They haven't manifest or seen themselves working out and not getting the results and still going. Think about him. People we've studied who have faced real rejection Einstein, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey. And they kept going.
00:10:55:00 - 00:11:37:23
Unknown
I think if you can affirm to yourself, journal to yourself, remind yourself that if it hasn't killed you, it's making you stronger. Think Zaha Hadid here like, oh, no, I'm beat. And if I'm not getting the results every day, I'm getting a little bit closer. Even if I can't see it, I'm just one day closer. I think this is really all about intercepting self-doubt, feeling unsure of yourself, and like really being disciplined with how you think, setting that intention, setting that mindset.
00:11:37:25 - 00:12:07:22
Unknown
Because if you can say, I'm going to cross the line and I'm going to grind it out in training every single day, when you're grinding, you will not see quitting as an option. It will not register. But if you haven't filled that void with clarity of purpose, you know, self doubts coming for you because life is the greatest competitor if you are not on, you are going backwards.
00:12:07:22 - 00:12:45:00
Unknown
And that is for sure. That is, isn't it? Yeah, I totally agree. And I think that let's call it growth mindset. You know, the ability to welcome those obstacles and even train for them, you know, the idea of training for that moment, mid-race when you're feeling a little bit tired, not only from a physical perspective, but like a mental one, you hit that roadblock that reminds me of a lot of that work that we've really leaned into from somebody like Goggins, who says that that's when you find out who you are.
00:12:45:02 - 00:13:19:01
Unknown
Big time. We have. We've delved into so many individuals who have really demonstrated that we can all achieve a lot more than we think we're capable of. Absolutely. And remember this, Goggins says. I'm actually not a good natural runner, so he had too many to fracture the mindset of a great ultra marathon long distance runner because he knew his body shape and his whole athletic style was not really a small lean.
00:13:19:01 - 00:13:43:09
Unknown
The little guy, which is great for long distance running. He's a big guy, so he was prepared to re-engineer. He talks about it at a soil level, right? The mineral level and the mineral that Mel Robbins Yeah. That Mel Robbins is talking about is that thought in the morning that's up for grabs. You can make it whatever you want.
00:13:43:11 - 00:14:11:23
Unknown
You can be completely unawares and just entertain monkey mind, or you can go with purpose, whether metaphorically or in real life. Your high fiving yourself. You can be in the driving seat, but you must choose for it. And I think at the heart of that process, if you're interested, as we're saying this, if you're interested, you have to start with defining who you are, where you're at, and being totally okay with that.
00:14:11:23 - 00:14:34:00
Unknown
You have to accept yourself. Damon Yeah, that's exactly it. You have to be really, really considerate and focused on understanding where you are. So, Mike, why don't we now launch into the next thing that we've got? And building on Mel Robbins High five habits, this time we're going to hear a great breakdown from reading Grow with a very, very simple breakdown for us.
00:14:34:00 - 00:14:56:06
Unknown
And this time it's all about setting our own tone. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for everything in your life. How you talk to and treat yourself sets the tone for everything you do. It determines how you feel, what you think, and what actions you take. If you look in the mirror and don't see a person worth celebrating, it's time to change that.
00:14:56:08 - 00:15:18:12
Unknown
A high five is so much more than a slap of a hand. It's a transfer of energy and belief from one person to another. Every high five says, I believe in you, which makes you believe in yourself and in your ability to push forward. If being loved, encouraged and celebrated feels so good, If it keeps you going and helps you achieve your goals, why don't you do it for yourself?
00:15:18:14 - 00:15:55:01
Unknown
What if you learned how to cheer yourself forward every day, every week, every year of your life, step by step, as you move toward your goals and your dreams? Oh, man, this is such a validation of what Mel is talking about. Like it really is your choice. Like, I think it's really important to admit here and to register the fact that every guru expert or academic that we've studied has often spoken about the battle of self-doubt, imposter syndrome.
00:15:55:03 - 00:16:29:04
Unknown
Everybody feels it. But those that succeed have the capacity to overcome it. This high five is just one way Affirmations choice of how you will perceive the hardship. I'm struggling right now, but that's okay. I'm going to stay the course. It is such a power four mindset where you say, where you train, where you choose for your direction to go because, Mark, let's look at the alternate option here.
00:16:29:06 - 00:16:59:08
Unknown
If you're not actively empowering yourself with the work of Mel Robbins and others, well, what do you think what some of the symptoms of someone who's doing that, who's not taking that ownership? I think of people, you know, struggling. What do you see? Yeah, and I think I've been there before as well. You know, when when you pick up bad habits and don't continue keeping yourself in check, it's very, very possible to get into that Oh, poor me mindset.
00:16:59:10 - 00:17:23:08
Unknown
And this habit, I think, really does spill out into a lot of the work that you end up doing. So for me, when I've had times when I haven't believed in myself, maybe things at work haven't quite worked out, maybe something I was relying on didn't pay off at the same time. That's not necessarily anybody else's fault. Instead, it just sometimes happens.
00:17:23:11 - 00:17:45:09
Unknown
But for me, one of the guilty behaviors that I think I have, maybe, maybe it's even a habit, is to then stop feeling like it's somebody else's fault. You want to find somebody to put the blame on. So what ends up happening are you get grumpy, you feel disheartened, maybe you don't want to try anymore. You don't want to work with other people.
00:17:45:15 - 00:18:04:02
Unknown
You just want to either stay in bed or you just want to close the laptop and not really get on with anything. And as I'm saying this, Mike, none of that sounds attractive, does it? None of it sounds productive, helpful or a good place to be. Well, I would propose to you it's sort of like a doom loop, isn't it?
00:18:04:02 - 00:18:29:20
Unknown
It's somebody who thinks and reacts negatively. Well, they attract negative energy. Bad things happen to them, so they think more negatively and they get in a bit of a spiral. I mean, I do think about how although Arnold Schwarzenegger is a different cat than Mel Robbins weather, the interesting thing is he took full and complete ownership with the vision he had of himself.
00:18:29:23 - 00:18:54:07
Unknown
And he was unrelenting in seeing that happen and have absolute confidence that he could use these sorts of techniques to get the think about it. He grew up in a little country village in Austria and said, I will be the world champion of bodybuilding and was Mr. Universe like eight times in a row, like, oh my gosh, already, that's amazing.
00:18:54:09 - 00:19:11:25
Unknown
Just like, you know what? I'm going to be an actor. Everyone's like, Are you crazy? I can't even understand what you're saying. And he's like one of the biggest actors in history. And he's like, You know what? I want to be a politician. So he was the governor twice, got reelected of the biggest state in America, the fifth biggest economy in the world.
00:19:12:01 - 00:19:40:24
Unknown
He did all three things. I think this is absolutely transformative. It's amazing. Yeah, It's a real Ben. It's a real demonstration, isn't it, of having your mind in a space that enables you to go out and be successful. I think if anybody is proof, Mike, that that mindset can be a driver for success on a fortune, it's got to be up there.
00:19:41:00 - 00:20:05:01
Unknown
Interestingly, though, Mike, as you were breaking that down, it's reminded me of this idea we were learning within the Happiness Series, which is that happiness or differently a positive mindset perhaps is like a muscle. It is something that we can work on. It's something that you can grow exactly like we were learning in the in the second rule from Mel Robbins at the beginning of our Mel Robbins series.
00:20:05:01 - 00:20:27:20
Unknown
In fact, this confidence competency loop, the more you do something and the more something gets a little bit better, the better you feel. And what happens then? Well, good news. You wake up a little bit more positive tomorrow. Maybe even you start smiling to your neighbors. You say hi to the bus drivers. Suddenly all of those things compound and you get, let's call it happier.
00:20:27:25 - 00:20:52:18
Unknown
Maybe you get become more productive. And all of those little habits, those things that you do, isn't it, Mike, whether you find yourself in the mirror, whether you say hello to your neighbors, whether you pat the dogs or these small things can add up and have such a positive impact. And so, yeah, and I think some of the practical things you can do is you can say your goals out loud every day.
00:20:52:20 - 00:21:11:11
Unknown
What are your goals for the day, the week, the year? You can talk about how you want to turn out with compassion as a listener. You want to be productive. There's so many things that you can reaffirm to yourself. You can say to yourself every single day, and it is the power of the subconscious that you're talking to here.
00:21:11:13 - 00:21:30:13
Unknown
You are going to war with self doubt. Joseph Murphy, Check him out. Wrote a lot of books in the past. The subconscious. What we're doing here practically with Mel Robbins is going after exactly the same thing. We are not going to give in to self-doubt. We're going to take ownership for it. And I think this is what a great story for people to hear.
00:21:30:13 - 00:21:52:22
Unknown
I think everybody needs to hear that they have this choice, just like people have the choice to become a member of the Minchin's podcast. I mean, I think this is up there with self-actualization, this this idea of being a member. I mean, for five bucks, you get so much. Mark, who are these members? Who are these amazing, transformative individuals?
00:21:52:24 - 00:22:24:17
Unknown
I mean, much like I wake up and I can do my daily affirmations. I have a weekly affirmation, and that weekly affirmation is to do the shots member role or group. Please welcome, as always, Bob. Margin can get more margin and honor. Rodrigo and Liza said. Mr. Bond you're Paul Amberg Kalman Joe Christian Summer when I Barbara, Andre, Eric and Chris, Deborah, Steve, Craig, Daniel, Andrew, Ravi and Imette are all male.
00:22:24:17 - 00:22:58:08
Unknown
Mike Our annual members. That list really is getting longer every single time I have to do my weekly affirmations, but soon on events and teams heals include Karen and Raul, PJ, Nick, Alana, Ola Ingram, Dirk and Emily, Harry Karthick, Ben Cutter, Marco Jet, Roger, Anna and Raul, Nick, Milan, Eric, Diana and Wade. Christoph, Dennis, Laura, Smitty, Corrie, Angela Bertram, Daniela, Mike and Nelson and our brand new members.
00:22:58:08 - 00:23:21:13
Unknown
Mike. These individuals have really been pumping their daily affirmations. Dan, Antonio, Vanessa and Zachary, thank you guys all so much for joining us on the Moonshot show, not only for those annual members as people who are joining us, we can we count that as well as our brand new team. Exciting stuff, Mike. Yeah, Thank you so much to all of you.
00:23:21:13 - 00:23:47:23
Unknown
We really do appreciate your membership, your patronage and your support because it ain't cheap to put together a whole production like this. So your support helps us produce this show. In fact, we shared two shows every single week and will do so for a long, long time, thanks to your support. So we are truly grateful. And if you would love to become a member and support the show, it's the price of one cup of coffee a month.
00:23:47:23 - 00:24:07:00
Unknown
That's all it is. And you also get access to the Moonshots Master series, which is an additional podcast only for our members. So check out Moonshot Stereo, hit the big members button and before you know it, you'll be supporting us. So now we turn our minds back to Mel Robbins. And now we have to think about what steps to happen on this journey.
00:24:07:00 - 00:24:26:05
Unknown
Mark As I go out into the world, I try and be the best version of myself. You know what? I wish it would be perfect. I wish we could predict everything that was going to happen. Mark And it's not quite like that. Isn't luck is the one thing that is guaranteed, Mike, is that there's going to be stuff that is not guaranteed.
00:24:26:07 - 00:24:51:23
Unknown
So now let's hear from Mel and from Mel and a special guest, Evan Carmichael, a moonshot favorite of those who are going to discuss this idea of acceptance, as well as how we can all embrace the uncertainty. I'll give you guys a secret way to Fastlane your way into being more authentic. Start saying these three words, more often.
00:24:51:25 - 00:25:21:10
Unknown
I don't know if you're in a meeting at work and somebody asks you a question and you say, I don't know, something incredible happens, your credibility goes through the roof because people in that nanosecond realize, holy cow, if I'm talking to Evan and he's willing to say in front of ten other people, I don't know, I can try to figure it out for you, but I don't know the answer to that.
00:25:21:12 - 00:25:40:25
Unknown
People go, I can trust him because he's telling me the truth. Is admitting something I don't even want to admit. And so if you were to start to look for opportunities every day to either say, I don't know, or to say I don't know how many words are in this sentence, something like, I'm sorry, Evan, I don't understand what you're talking about.
00:25:41:01 - 00:26:05:01
Unknown
Could you explain these to me again? Like it's you that literally is the magic formula for beginning to be more authentic. Admit what you don't know. There's this great clip on a major news network. Is CNN or CNBC or one of those. And Elon Musk is on it and he's basically saying that robots are going to kill us all and take over the world.
00:26:05:03 - 00:26:27:17
Unknown
Right. It's like this big, bold statement. And then they ask him, well, how's it going to happen? And he says, I don't know. And then they ask him a couple more questions. The same thing is like, I don't know. And I remember watching that to your point. Like mean, I don't know that I would have the courage to go on some major platform, make some bold claim, and then not know the answer to any of the follow up questions.
00:26:27:17 - 00:26:48:09
Unknown
I think it's human nature to be like, Oh, let me try to stumble to find an answer, as opposed to just flat out saying, I don't know. It's actually a power move everybody to say, I don't know or Hey, excuse me, I'm not following what you guys are talking about. Can you explain what X, Y, Z means or I don't know how to pronounce it, pronounce this word that happens to me all the time with my dyslexia.
00:26:48:09 - 00:27:09:06
Unknown
I just no idea how to pronounce words. And so I think when you're willing to say, I don't know, it's a way to put your toe in the water and realize you're not going to die, people actually don't laugh at you. They respect the fact that you're saying something like that. Most people, if they know something that you don't know, loves being smarter than you, so they're not going to penalize you.
00:27:09:08 - 00:27:37:21
Unknown
They're going to feel better around you. And the other thing that I've learned through experience and you can read this everybody and you can listen to Evan and I say this, but until you experience it yourself firsthand, you will not believe what I'm talking about is true. Research shows when you screw up or stumble or mispronounce something or forget what you were supposed to say, or you start to look a little panic stricken.
00:27:37:23 - 00:28:11:14
Unknown
If you're speaking in class or you're giving a presentation or you're doing a livestream like Evan and I are right now, when you screw up, the people watching immediately flip into feeling bad for you and then rooting for you so that I can remember what the study is. You may know this, Evan, about how, like, if you've ever seen somebody trip up the stairs to get an award, like at the Oscars or something, when that happens, we all go, Oh, no.
00:28:11:16 - 00:28:51:08
Unknown
Or if you've ever been in the audience, when somebody slides aren't working and you start to feel this shared experience of anxiety, people trust you more. They root for you because you're stirring a shared experience with them. I think Mark here, like the big thing is you cannot be expected to have a plan that's perfect and to know everything, because if you were to have all of those things, you would be some sort of godlike titan in Bill Gates.
00:28:51:08 - 00:29:17:13
Unknown
Great. Warren Buffet, plus a bit of Oprah Winfrey is like like I think we all feel like we have to have the answer. And the best discussions always come from things like, I don't know, what do you think? Right. Those are the great discussions because that's where people feel that it's safe not to have all the answers and to be creative and to think about.
00:29:17:18 - 00:29:51:20
Unknown
Here is supposed to be, I don't know, maybe this, maybe that. That's where we get the creative juices guy. And I think that the reality is that it's easy to admit you don't know when you remind yourself of what you do know and what you do have. And I strangely think, like if you're putting in the work, getting up early, taking good care of yourself and others, working hard, being productive and doing the right thing, so much inner confidence can come from that that you can be like, Hey, I'm working out and do my thing.
00:29:51:20 - 00:30:14:05
Unknown
I don't have all the answers, but I know this, but I don't know that, so why don't we work on it? And I think that's an invitation for collaboration. And much to what you've got on screen here is if you practice that sense of knowingness, that calm and being grateful for the things you do has, you can admit what you don't have that easy.
00:30:14:07 - 00:30:38:13
Unknown
It's when you're not in yourself, when you're not present in yourself, when you're not connected to yourself, when you're a little bit getting beaten up by life and experiencing a lot of self-doubt, that's when you get off track. And I think some of these things are the key to having that inner confidence to say, I don't know. I think it's funny.
00:30:38:13 - 00:31:03:20
Unknown
I believe that maybe the answer here is Mike, I don't know. But it's hard for me when I when I felt a little bit more, shall we say, comfortable with an unknown situation. An unknown situation could be, you know, like we've talked about bad feedback, a challenging project, maybe something that you don't yet know what's going to happen next.
00:31:03:23 - 00:31:40:13
Unknown
I think to phases that that I can go through, one is trying to practice acceptance. Okay, this is what it is. Maybe I can't control it. Let's go along with the water and see where it takes us. And I think that's kind of phase one that that sort of acceptance level. Okay, it's not perfect. The situations may be trickier than I thought, but I'm just going to have to lump it the second phase, then, which I think is probably more within our moonshot space, is what do we do then?
00:31:40:15 - 00:32:04:15
Unknown
What's the productive headspace that we then get into once that moment of feeling maybe is uncomfortable or out of our debt, or just a bit distracted with how things have gone, That's when I think that that calmness as we're seeing on the screen at the moment, it then falls into place and then I'm able to put into practice that calmness.
00:32:04:17 - 00:32:34:06
Unknown
So through the habits that we've discussed, maybe it's journaling, maybe it is like finding ourselves in the mirror or maybe it's just practicing a level of acceptance or maybe a level of, of, of building itself up each day. Once you've got that foundation slowly starting to get figured out, I feel as though I'm personally a little bit stronger and more capable to deal with those moments of uncertainty as we were just hearing from Melanchthon in that clip.
00:32:34:08 - 00:33:25:09
Unknown
Because I've put in that hard work, I've put in that, let alone the tape practice, to then bounce off when things get a little bit rough. Yeah, like I think the opportunity is to find how you can be really comfortable in your own skin and don't fall victim to self-doubt and uncertainty. Because for me, the way I would do that, like, let's practically say I was thinking out loud on how I'm going to be prepared for uncertainty and self-doubt, the thinking process that I would use is uncertainty, doubt, challenge and problems are guaranteed in life because I've seen on the shows, podcasts, every single person we've studied has experienced those things.
00:33:25:11 - 00:34:01:04
Unknown
So the fact that I'm experiencing problems, challenges and self-doubt, not only is it inevitable, what we've learned is it's often a sign that you're doing the right thing, stretch goals, getting a little uncomfortable, growing a little bit. I think this is a very good way by which you can go out into the world and if you practice every day some gratitude, if you're more objective and don't rush to judgment of others, practice, work on the happiness muscles, keep it calm, meditate, breathe, go for a nice walk.
00:34:01:06 - 00:34:37:24
Unknown
Then you're not being triggered by uncertainty and self-doubt. You're not quickly going to fight or flight. You can actually re-engineer your response and say, okay, this is really cool. I have no idea what I'm doing. Let's find out. Yeah, yeah, I like that as well. This idea of you're doing the right thing is a real confidence boost because like you say, Mike, the consistent thing, the guarantee that we have as the Moonshot show is that invariably everybody is going to come into that strikes at difficulty.
00:34:38:01 - 00:35:01:07
Unknown
But isn't it a relief when you then think, Well, if I compare myself to some of these successful individuals, they struggle to, hey, I'm in the right company. You are that I'm on the team. And what's great about the study that we do on the Moonshots podcast is Mark. We know for sure that they all had massive challenge.
00:35:01:09 - 00:35:44:01
Unknown
David Goggins He was trying to qualify for seals with fractured legs, like, Oh my God, the point here is, is you can go problem good. Jaco Willink style If you can actually choose to register this as a positive sign and don't fall victim to fight or flight, because what you see is when you stay the course, what we learn from people like Goggins and from Oprah and Michelle Obama is when you stay the course and you let compound interest do its magic, you will win.
00:35:44:03 - 00:36:14:14
Unknown
We really dug into that in the last show as well. Stop saying you're fine by Mel Robbins. That idea of the atomic habits and getting better at 1% each day that compound interest. And Mike, it's amazing how regularly that really does come back even just practicing these little daily mantras, these little habits, these little practices of maybe getting outside, seeing the sunshine in the morning, like Andrew Goodman would say, going out to exercise, drinking enough water.
00:36:14:16 - 00:36:40:06
Unknown
All of that helps us, doesn't it? It's all part of the process, I think, to deal with those uncertainties that life throws at you. Yeah, And I think that part of this is that if you can just train yourself to go, Oh, this is good. I'm really learning new things and I'm growing as a result, as have so many others before me.
00:36:40:08 - 00:37:15:04
Unknown
I think that that's like a key state of mind that you can choose for. Yeah, you can choose for it. And my big thing here, Mark, is to always remind yourself of what David Goggins calls the cookie jar. Have a list of your greatest successes and achievements, and in all of those you will always find a story of challenge and discomfort and self-doubt that you over came it right in the Absolutely.
00:37:15:06 - 00:37:48:10
Unknown
But this all the this is true, Mike, isn't it? And the truth is we all do suffer stress, anxiety, fear of the unknown, that ability of fight or flight. And we've got one more clip that's coming from Mel Robbins. Yeah, before we before we go there. Hold on. Before we go there, Mark, I just want to say, though, that what's interesting when we talk about these moments of fear and self-doubt and uncertainty, those things don't actually harm you in any way.
00:37:48:11 - 00:38:12:16
Unknown
It is your response of anxiety and stress. That's where all the bad stuff comes. Yeah. Yeah. For me, the times when I felt most, you know, well, not only uncomfortable, but, you know, almost physically ill, you know, that anxiety feeling is often self manifested. Yes. It's the things that you're afraid of that you create in your own mind.
00:38:12:18 - 00:38:32:23
Unknown
You know, it's very rare, I think, for, you know, an individual who's sending an email to make you feel really, really upset. I think it's actually internal. I think it's the thing, the effect that you're giving yourself, you're allowing yourself to get so upset or distraught by it. And that's certainly something that I've experienced as well. And wait for this.
00:38:32:25 - 00:39:06:19
Unknown
The crazy thing is like this. Talk about the email bomb that arise. Do you know the other crazy thing is often the people supposedly are causing you stress and harm didn't have that intention. They don't realize that they wrote an email, but they might notice a little bit edgy but don't realize how bad. So the crazy thing is we judge them and assume all this malice, but invariably it's stupidity and ignorance rather than intentional desire to cause stress and anxiety for the recipient.
00:39:06:19 - 00:39:37:18
Unknown
Right? Yeah, you're totally right. My and actually that is true. And we should really, as we've dealt and delved into on the show, this idea of acceptance not only of ourselves but of those around us, which I think is, I suppose an extension with the high five habit. You know, we've got to accept others as well. That's a key moment when you can either choose to accept somebody for who they are, You can accept that they sent you this email.
00:39:37:23 - 00:40:01:09
Unknown
Maybe it's a bit snotty, maybe it, like you say, is an email bomb. It's actually I've never I've never heard that phrase before, but I visually brings to mind a lot of memories for me and it's true. I choose personally to occasionally interpret it in the very negative way. Yeah, the truth is exactly as you say. That's because I'm choosing to interpret that person incorrectly.
00:40:01:15 - 00:40:27:09
Unknown
So the fold is actually kind of on me. There's these really ancient philosophies around like, you know, so much harm in the world. It was never intentional, right? Like, it's often just too busy and ignorance. But we get caught up in this whole narrative in our mind. So but I think, you know, stress and anxiety is part of life.
00:40:27:10 - 00:40:51:17
Unknown
And we can detach and we can use some of the practices we've talked about. But I believe you're about to share with us. Mel Robbins has some thoughts to I was like I was we now are going to hear from Mel just one more time. This time she's going to try and close the show with an acceptance again, build this time around the idea of stress and anxiety.
00:40:51:17 - 00:41:09:23
Unknown
But she's going to give us this time, a little bit of a hack and a habit so that we can create better practices. Okay. Right now, I think everybody's nervous system is in a state of firefight. Honestly, what we've just lived through, the human body is not built to sustain that level of uncertainty for that amount of time.
00:41:09:23 - 00:41:31:14
Unknown
And so every morning I want you to high five your heart, what you're going to do to high five. Your heart is we're going to teach you how to flip off your fighter flight nervous system and flip on your parasympathetic calm, cool, nervous system. You're going to take your hands and push them on the center of your chest and you're going to take a deep breath and then you're going to repeat these three sentences.
00:41:31:16 - 00:41:52:14
Unknown
I'm okay, I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm safe and loved and loved and repeated and repeated and repeat it until you feel yourself. Come back into your body. What you're doing on a scientific level is you're tapping into a treasure in your body called the vagus nerve. It is the on off switch between your stressed out nervous system and your cool grounded one.
00:41:52:18 - 00:42:21:15
Unknown
And the fact of the matter is, if you can hear yourself even thinking those three sentences, it's true. Mark, good stuff there. I mean, we've talked a lot about this, that you can you can actually smile and you will feel happier. It is amazing the tools that are available to us to control how we feel so we don't have to be disempowered about feelings.
00:42:21:17 - 00:42:40:22
Unknown
We can be in the driving seat. I think that's that's the big message that I take from from Mel Robbins. We are we can be drivers. We just got to get out of the passenger seat. That's all. Yeah, you tell you I might. And that's the lesson I'm taking away from here as well. It's this idea of ownership.
00:42:40:24 - 00:43:06:14
Unknown
And the truth is and I'm going to slide behind this for those listening at home, which is breaking down a framework of positive leadership. The idea, Mike, and the reason why I thought this was an interesting build here is that no matter what job we are in, whether we are in leadership positions or otherwise, we need sometimes assistance.
00:43:06:16 - 00:43:30:17
Unknown
We need to get that little bit of help. And I think where Mel has really come into play throughout the series is reminding us that actually we do have a lot of control from a foundational level on how we interpret things around us, how we interpret, let's say, obstacles. We can see them as opportunities. Instead, it all comes down to how we want to look at them.
00:43:30:19 - 00:44:03:25
Unknown
And I think from a positivity perspective that's a really compelling argument that reminds me, okay, well, this is great. No longer am I at the mercy of an email bomb. No wonder no more am I at the mercy of, you know, how to control working hours instead. Now it's a mood that I can take advantage of. I know that I can lean on myself and become a little bit more centered, a little bit more balanced, even a little bit more better.
00:44:03:25 - 00:44:26:09
Unknown
Colleague and maybe Moonshot podcast host by trying to take that little bit ownership over the way that I'm interpreting things around me. Yeah, I think that I mean, what a gift from Mel Robbins, not only in this book, The High Five Habit, but from the entire series. So Mark, I have to ask you our classic question for big habits, for big ideas.
00:44:26:09 - 00:44:55:05
Unknown
What's getting your extra attention after this show? Well, Mike, I think it's very easy for me to say that embracing the uncertainty would be the good one, because the truth is that we've we've kind of delved into that a little bit on the show, haven't we? So instead, I'm going to join Mel as well as Jay Shetty, who we saw in that last clip, which is doing those three very simple six or seven word mantras each day.
00:44:55:11 - 00:45:21:24
Unknown
I do journal, but I don't actually do mantras that much. So that's what I'm going to start doing from now on. What about you, Mike? What are you taking away from the high five habits? Oh, I think I'm still working a lot on silencing the inner critic. So and my big thing, there is no negative thoughts. Like I'm really trying to build this system of anything, anything vaguely, even a sniff of negativity to it.
00:45:22:00 - 00:45:44:21
Unknown
Peace, enjoy peace, enjoy peace, enjoy, dislike. What is the antithesis of negativity, peace and joy? Well, Mark, there you go. We have both got homework to do. I'm not sure if we will be doing real life high fives in the mirror, but I think we'll be doing metaphorically a lot of high fiving. So I want to thank you for joining me on show 231.
00:45:44:23 - 00:46:11:13
Unknown
I want to thank you, our members, our viewers and listeners for a deep dive into the third installment of the Mel Robbins series with her book, The High Five Habit. And it started with this idea of silencing a critic because we are at war with self-doubt and negativity. So it starts with accepting yourself and setting your tone. And as we go on that journey, embrace the uncertainty because rough waters are ahead, that's guaranteed.
00:46:11:16 - 00:46:31:22
Unknown
How you respond isn't to get to work. And if you do feel any stress or anxiety, reaffirm to yourself what you're all about. Because what we're all about here on the podcast is learning out loud being the best version of ourselves. And I can't think of a better place to be all right, that's a wrap.