Finding your Purpose

Hello members and subscribers! The eighth Moonshots Master episode is an under-considered topic in Personal development and transformation: FINDING YOUR PURPOSE.

To prove the value of knowing your purpose, we hear from all-time great Moonshotters. Kyle Maynard explains why we should find our purpose and how making excuses is what makes you incapable of success. We then hear from Dan Millman who says we all need to learn to enjoy the journey of your life, and not let our ego drive our emotions. Breaking down the illusion of originality, we have Elizabeth Gilbert stating that authenticity and action shouldn’t be limited by what’s been done before.

Now that we're ready to understand the full value of knowing our purpose, we listen to Mark Manson and The Diary of a CEO discuss why we all need to figure out what you want in order to disregard the less important stuff. Two Moonshot heavy-weights break down rethinking cycles together, with Adam Grant and Shane Parrish discussing keeping your sense of identity separate from ego. Staying true to his purpose, we have Matthew McConaughey telling the story of what happened when he started saying ‘no’ to Rom Coms (and money).

In our final part we learn actionable frameworks and behaviours to help us make habits today. We hear from Simon Sinek and how you must start with a clear message in mind - in life and work - accessible via the golden circle. We then have Tim Tamashiro breaking down his ikigai and helping us know how to create ours. Lastly we realise there are no excuses for starting today, as Ryan Holiday explains how Marcus Aurelius always made time to think clearly and journal.

Our reading list is full of inspiration books, articles and tools to find your purpose:

• Kyle Maynard, No Excuses

• Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

• Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

• 16 Personalities test

• Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of not giving a F***

• Shane Parrish, The Great Mental Models

• Adam Grant, Think Again

• Matthew McConaughey, Green Lights

• Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living

• Simon Sinek, Find Your Why

• Héctor Garcia and Francesc Miralles, Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life

• Nir and Far, 20 Common Values

What has inspired you to find your purpose? What tools or methods help you stick to your vision? Get in touch and let us know! Thanks for listening. That’s a wrap.

TRANSCRIPT

Mike Parsons: [00:00:00] And welcome to the moonshots master series. It's episode eight. I'm your co-host Mike Parsons. And as always, I'm joined by the man with a plan. Mr. Mark Pearson Freeland. Good morning, mark. Hey, good 

Mark Pearson Freeland: morning, Mike. We are bringing a brand new topic for us, scribers on apple podcasts and Spotify, as well as our moonshot lunar powered members on the Patreon moonshots a level today.

Mike Parsons: We certainly are. We are add our eighth master series mark, and we have done some chunky subjects in the past. If you think about it, that's principles, motivation, teamwork, habits, circle of control, communication and entrepreneurship. But we have got a heavyweight coming today. I think this one, if none of the previous seven, knock your socks off this one.

Mark Pearson Freeland: I totally agree. I think there's an element of consistency or a thread that connects all of our different master episodes. But I [00:01:00] agree this one for me was an absolutely big hitter today, listeners and subscribers and members we're diving into what I would consider quite under, considered under, maybe appreciated under delved or uncovered area of our lives in personal development and transformation.

Which Mike is all about finding your purpose in life. This is a pretty big juicy topic that I don't think gets enough air time or consideration. 

Mike Parsons: Yeah, I would just, as you were talking and I'm just like when do you actually sit down and make time to talk about this stuff without sounding like a complete idiot?

Shall we just sit down and talk about my purpose in life? Like you just don't do it. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: No, you really don't. And I think there's a propensity within business and entrepreneurs, we certainly uncovered a handful of tips and guidance and we'll understand a few more entrepreneurs and authors today in today's [00:02:00] episode around business and finding a value or a mission objective for businesses in the industry, but actually turning the mirror on ourselves for a moment, thinking about our own personal drive and vision and direction.

I really don't think is something that we're almost brought up or educated or trained into thinking about. 

Mike Parsons: I have a feeling that it may be, and certainly for my self. I am perhaps speaking. I think maybe you feel. Bringing it up is almost a confession of inadequacy. Oh, can we talk about my purpose?

Because I don't know really what I'm doing in life and, oh, actually now I say that I feel really stupid and actually let's move on. Do you think that could be it, that we appear weak and vulnerable and lost? If we want to talk about it, do you think that's why it's just not on the table? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I certainly could [00:03:00] see that being a reason, whether you want to call that ego or just confidence or insecurity or discipline.

It's something that I think is innately within all of us, because we're told to put on quite a brave face and just put your back towards the grindstone and get on with it. Totally. And I could totally see that being something that does put off a number of people, including I think myself within my career, there's probably been plenty of times where I've just.

It doesn't really matter. I'll just go and do it without really reflecting on whether it makes me happy and whether it's something that I love doing. 

Mike Parsons: Yeah, totally. Totally. Yeah. I think the good news is for this episode of the moonshots master series, it's all about finding purpose. We're going to have so many goodies.

We've got Elizabeth Gilbert to inspire us Matthew McConaughey, who is quite the expert, I think on all things [00:04:00] purpose. And one of our absolute favorites, Simon Sinek all of that is in front of us here where we are really going to get into a discussion of finding purpose. But before we do mark, this show is exclusively for our members.

And I think before we launch into the world of purpose, let's do a quick roll call to all our members who support us and for whom we are. For our 

Mark Pearson Freeland: members who have been here from day one all the way through to today's episode, number eight, you guys are helping us find our purpose and keeping the moonshot lights on.

So please receive our lunar powered. Thanks Bob kneels, John Terry Bridey NILAH marshaling, Ken DMR, Tom and Byron Mark Marsh and Connor Rodrigo Yasmeen spaceman, Daniella Liza said Maria, Paul Berg and Kalman. Welcome everybody to the show. Thank you so much for joining us, Mike and I and the moonshots team as [00:05:00] members.

Thank you for listening and keeping with us month to month. We really do appreciate your support energy as well as your presence. 

Mike Parsons: We are certainly indeed grateful. So thank you. And with that, I want to jump into the world of Kyle Maynard. And for those who don't know, Kyle May not, he is an amazing guy.

Maybe mark, why don't you give a quick synopsis on co main item. We shall launch into a world of finding your purpose. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: Okay. Kyle Maynard not was an individual Mike that we've covered on the weekly moonshot show. And he has been what we would regard as one of our listener favorites, because he is just an incredible speaker author.

He's actually a ma and MMA athlete, but he's specifically known in all of these different areas because he was the first quadruple amputee to ascend Mount Kilimanjaro without prestige [00:06:00] prosthetics. 

Mike Parsons: So just to be super clear, this guy, Kyle Maynard not know. No alarms did Kilimanjaro and you will spend time with the episode that we did on Kyle.

And you'll think what the hell am I doing? I'm a lazy bum in comparison to Karmanos. Look, mark. I just want to get straight into, come out, may not here so much to teach us, and it starts with his thoughts on following your own path. And that really, if I had to go and pick one thing that I would want to go and do, and in part on the world is to combat that like excuse of impotence, it's really that all of us, like in our own way, whether it's in an individual conversation that we know for a fact, like we have the capacity to be able to go and do something, but it's only when we go and make that excuse that we are capable or we don't care, which is usually a lot.

And then we don't, and there's a concept that changed my life. That's a big statement to make to, but it really did in a lot of ways when I learned this and it was Alfred Korzybski said in [00:07:00] 1931, he said, the map is not the territory. Meaning that like the object, language, with our words, spoken words, it's an abstraction.

It's not reality itself, whatever that means. So the territory being reality, like that's, whatever is, but the deal is all of us go and walk around? It's a human, natural phenomenon. We all go and walk around relating to our own mental maps as if they are reality. Instead of realizing they're just a map and some maps are more useful than others, if we make. Map of Chicago, and we've got 15 minutes to go and make it. Then it's probably not going to be a very accurate map. If we use a map from 1960 of Chicago, it's probably not gonna be a very accurate map. We know the more accurate we can go and get to the real time there. Then the better off that we are.

But for me, and how that relates is, it actually changed me in the sense that I felt like when I learned that I didn't really have to go and prove anything to anybody. And it gave me a lot more freedom and ease to go and understand, when relating to other people that, that was just [00:08:00] like somebody else's.

Mark Pearson Freeland: Mike, straight off the bat, opening our episode. Number eight on finding your purpose with Mr. Carl Maynard. He captures my attention in that specific clip because he's helping us understand to take time, make an excuse in your day or in your life to sit down and actually scrutinize or consider what I think he's reference or referring to as your map or your reality in order to understand yourself a little bit.

Mike Parsons: Yeah. And one of the things that comes instantly to mind on how I might do that is one of my favorites, which is doing one of those self-assessment tests to find out well who you are. And when I think about making my map I did strengths finder 2.0, and there's a free version called 16 personalities.

And these two services give you the [00:09:00] capacity to better understand yourself and to make the map of who you truly are. And I had a really big aha. When I did both of these to reveal my personality back to me, it was like holding up a mirror of who I am. And that often gives you lots of inspiration.

Two. Pursue more things that suit those characteristics. And then, as we'll discover in the show, that's how you start discovering, understanding and knowing what your purpose is and actually living it. I love this idea of self-evaluation and rewriting of your own map and challenging yourself, getting a little uncomfortable with yourself and doing things like it could sound about a bit nerdy, like doing a self-assessment test online, like 16 personalities.com, but give it the time, give it the 15 or 20 minutes.

I found [00:10:00] that really rewarding. What do you do when you're searching to re-examine and question your own map. Mark, what do you try and do? Yeah, I 

Mark Pearson Freeland: think 16 personalities is definitely something that I have really enjoyed doing, because it gives you the tools. In the format of questions of multiple choice questions to scrutinize your reaction to things.

And for me, you're right. That's a really helpful websites and software to go and check out. I think for me, I also quite enjoy the challenge of communicating it to somebody else. So if I'm using 16 personalities as a way to map a a direction or a matrix of things that inspire me, that capture my attention, capture my energy within day to day work, as well as family life.

I think trying to [00:11:00] communicate to another individual, whether it's a colleague or somebody in my personal relationships, it's something that again, can be. Uncomfortable. And I'd probably start with something like the 16 personalities first, because then you feel a little bit more comfortable with understanding or tapping into your own reaction to things, but then having a conversation with somebody else almost vocalizes it.

And for me, particularly in my career, vocalizing a problem or a consideration to another individual has always helped me put all the pieces together into a clear jigsaw that I then understand. 

Mike Parsons: Yeah. I can see what you're doing. You're like you're building that picture. And. Talking about something is a great way, because it's funny.

Sometimes when you say things, do you ever have those moments when you say something and you only then truly realize the thought, as you've said it? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I once had, is it w I once had this moment when [00:12:00] I was in my job in London, where I said to a close colleague okay. I can see you've got a problem. My way of cracking.

The problem is just to talk about it to somebody. Why don't you tell me your problem? I'm not on your project. I don't know the client. I don't know really what, anything that you're going to tell me, but just vocalize it to me and see if that helps. So the chap, he sat down, he took maybe five or 10 minutes telling me about the project and the problem he had.

And then suddenly he stopped mid sentence and he said, Hey, mark, I've just cracked it. You didn't need to say anything, but by me, vocalizing it to. The pennies dropped. I know exactly what I need to go and do. So we set up and went away. 

Mike Parsons: No problem. I'll tell you that one. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: And obviously that's very specific to problem solving, but I think going back to the Kyle Maynard topic, and obviously today's topic on finding your purpose.

I think the action of scrutinizing your [00:13:00] motivations, your behavior, or your attitude towards something, and either doing it personally with a P with a personality test or an exercise like that, or vocalizing it to somebody else will start to uncover different strands, different directions within your own mind, which then ladder up to that territory.

Or that map of reality that Carl was discussing in his talk. 

Mike Parsons: Totally agree. So I think he can cover topics around. Self-identity like who you really are like a good one. There would be like to understand your strengths. Then you can get into your areas of interest where things are feeling natural.

You could get into what you actually dream about something we spoke about, or you can even ask questions about what makes you happy. And we have another great moon shot, classic girl, Mr. Dan Millman, the author of the [00:14:00] peaceful warrior. And he's got a really good question to not only inspire us, but to challenge us.

And it really helps us in the search of our purpose. So let's have a listen to Dan Millman asking the question. What makes you happy? Always pursuing the Western solution to happiness. Which is Tony Robbins, which is go for the Gusto and succeed, achieve, get possessions and stuff and status, all the things that quote unquote of the ego, the outward expensive Western view of what it means to be happy and successful or the Western solution.

And there are people who have done that. In fact, the actor, Jim Carrey was recently quoted as saying, I think everyone should become rich and famous and get everything they want so they can find out that's not the answer.

The best thing about going to college. You find out it doesn't make you happy. [00:15:00] Doesn't come with a diploma, maybe a little while. There are people who didn't go to college. And for years they say if only I'd gone to college, I'd be happy. If only I had a better job, I'd be here. If only I had more money, I'd be happy.

If only I traveled more, I'd be happy. If only I found the perfect relationship, I'd be happy if only I had children, I'd be happy if only I hadn't had children, I'd be happy if only I was retired, I'd be happy if only, and it goes on and on. And we find out eventually that either we're happy now, or we're not because all we have is now future happiness doesn't mean anything.

All we have is now and happiness, I would suggest is not something that we have to feel. If we felt happy every moment, how would we know it? The measure of our sorrows is also the measure of our joys. [00:16:00] So life emotions past like the weather, they change all the time. And it's hard for me to imagine.

The end point of human evolution is to walk around with a gleeful smile on our face all the time. There must be something more than that. I think what we're really seeking is a sense of meaning that our lives are worth something they count for something and purpose and direction and connection with ourselves connection with others and connection with the transcendent.

Mark Pearson Freeland: Mike, Dan Millman from show number 141 on the moonshot show. I remember, and he's really speaking to it in that clip. We've just heard if you have ever been in this situation, if you've ever sat there in your car and the way to work and thought if only I had something, if only I'd done this, it's. I would hazard a guess that pretty much every single person has done that at least once.[00:17:00] 

Oh yes. And I think the reference to Jim Carey saying that everybody should get what they want, because then they realize it's not really what they need. It's not the answer. I think Dan moment's really calling out within this realm of finding your purpose, that it isn't about material goods. It isn't about having lots and lots of answers even necessarily.

It's just almost enjoying the journey that it takes, whether you go to college or not, just enjoy the moment. Take time to, I think, appreciated to find that purpose because once you have that, it's that sense of meaning the Danville. Referencing what'd you get from Dan and that clip? 

Mike Parsons: I love the fact that he pushes through this desire for happiness and, the winning the lottery.

So many of those things, it's the lottery of life, right? People are looking for the money, the big house and the car. And I love that Jim Carrey, Craig, how good is that? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: It's so [00:18:00] good. We should do a show on, we should do a Jim Carrey at 

Mike Parsons: some point. Oh, we should. We totally should. I think where he's taking us and I'm really grateful for that.

I think Dan is taking us rather than saying, I want to be happy. I want to find meaning. So then the question for me becomes like what do you do to find that? And I want to come back to some of the questions that we can ask of ourselves. And this is by no means an exhaustive list, but here's just some ideas of some questions we could ask to find meaning.

So I want you to imagine mark you and I were lost in the world. And we have to ask some questions to find out purpose. These are some of the questions we could use. What kind of people would relate to help in the world? What issues do we actually really care about? Where could we provide the most value to others?

That's really interesting. What's the one thing you do that really helps other people. Who do you identify with either as [00:19:00] individuals or groups? Very good. If you think about role modeling, there's nothing wrong by saying, Hey Martin Luther king, Michelle Obama, Brene brown, Elon Musk. They have done amazing things.

I want be like them. I that's the right starting point. This one I find really good. What would my legacy. Huge. Like, how will they speak of you at your funeral? If that's not a question that punches you in the face and says, quick, start getting serious about asking yourself who you want to be, what's your purpose.

I don't know. What will, what do you think? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: Yeah, it reminds me of the the idea that you are, what you consume. So if you constantly live on, let's say social media, your attitude will be influenced by it. I love the idea of thinking about role models, thinking about who you inspires you right now, as well as the idea of more of a future facing longterm [00:20:00] result of a legacy, because then you start to question, am I focusing on the right.

People am I being inspired by the wrong individual? How do I see my current behavior aligning with that long-term goal vision, a legacy in the future who might be closer towards that legacy that I can then emulate, or maybe even just be inspired by, I like this challenge that once again, you're looking and scrutinizing your life.

Yeah. Okay. Where do I sit 

Mike Parsons: on this? And these questions even as I was reading the Mount mark, I might, oh, Jesus, simple, some pretty heavy duty stuff here. It doesn't have to be too heavy duty. Or even if you think about what Elizabeth Gilbert has to say, it doesn't have to be some revolutionary, totally unique thing.

It just has to be true to you. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: Yeah, that's right. And this next clip that we've got is in fact from Elizabeth [00:21:00] Gilbert, author of big magic Mike, which we've done on the moonshot show as really amazing because it gave permission. And this next clip that we've got from Elizabeth Gilbert in big magic is breaking down this concept between purpose and ideas, originality versus authenticity.

So let's hear from Elizabeth Gilbert talking about originality and authentic. 

Mike Parsons: One of the things I love that you shared, which I feel is a big subset of fear, is this idea it's all been done before. I think it's the thing that I hear the most, both in my own brain. And when I talk to everyone out in the world about their ideas or their businesses or their projects, there's this recurring narrative everything's been done before.

And I was wondering if you can speak to originality versus authenticity. Okay, cool. I'm glad you brought this up. So whenever I talked to somebody who has a, an idea that they're, tremulously excited about generally speaking within the next two minutes, they will say, it's not [00:22:00] very original.

It's already been done. And I always say, but it has not yet been done by you. It has not yet been done by you. And the answer is. Yeah, guaranteed. It's already been done because humans are really inventive and inquisitive and creative, and we've had 40,000 years of the arts and pretty much everything has been done, and that's fine. Like even Shakespeare, half of his stories, he totally stole from older stories because there aren't that many new stories to tell, but he told them in a way that had never been told before. And then 500 years later, we're still borrowing them from him. We're all just borrowing from each other.

And even the most original piece of creativity that you ever saw in your life where you're like, that's groundbreaking. I've never seen anything like that before guaranteed. I could bring in like 10 professors and academics who could look at it and say obviously this is somebody who had read this book or they had heard this symphony or they had where they were playing off of this.

Or they were rejecting that they're responding. All we do as humans is respond to stuff that's already come before us, but you're allowed to add to the pile [00:23:00] you're allowed to add to the pile. And what I always say is whenever I look at. Really original. I feel like I can admire it, but it doesn't move me.

What moves me is the humanity in an authentic piece of creation where somebody was doing something, whatever it was because they had to, because they wanted to, because it brought them to life because it ignited their soul. That's what gives the shimmer of gold to something and makes me feel like my heart's been changed.

My mind's been changed. The world looks different than it did before. So I don't care if it's been done. I don't care if it's been done 10,000 times. If you need to do it. If you need to do it. I totally agree. And what Elizabeth Gilbert is doing there, she's giving us permission to do something that is true to ourselves.

And it doesn't matter if it's been done a million times before. It's how we do it. And it will be the first time it's being done by you. I think this is really. Really good at [00:24:00] forcing us to focus on what is our superpower? What is our natural path in life? Not yours, not theirs. Our path in life, focus on being the best version of yourself.

Don't try and be the crowd pleaser for everybody else. I think that's important. Isn't it? As we, take the advice from Kyle Medina, follow your own path, Dan Millman really discover meaning over happiness. And it doesn't matter what works for you as long as it works for you. And I think Elizabeth Gilbert is saying focus completely.

Upon the value that you can create in the world. The thing you're meant to do your superpower find that, and don't worry if it's been done one or a million times, gets a bit off, a bit of a weight off your shoulders. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I th I think as we consider the challenge, the perhaps a daunting [00:25:00] idea of finding a purpose, Elizabeth Gilbert's message is essential because I believe that more people than just myself and I'm certainly counting myself in this category have been put off with a, in a, either a career perspective or a personal perspective at embracing maybe a new direction or going out and doing something that's brand new.

Maybe it's writing a book for example, much like Elizabeth Gilbert was referencing in the show because it's been done before. I think the idea of. Starting a new journey is pretty daunting and everybody has this propensity or desire to do something brand new, because I think it's been bred into us.

The idea that are it's sequels or it's a brand new project. They're probably leaning towards more. If it's brand new, it's creative, it's original. It's therefore an expression of me [00:26:00] greater because it's an original thought into the world. But I think the truth is there's probably been many hundreds of thousands of people who have been put off because they think my message isn't original enough.

We'd probably be 

Mike Parsons: yeah. Yeah. All these people that could've found their thing, but just didn't because has been done by. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: And I think this, as we consider finding a purpose, sitting down determining what it is, what your visions and values and your goals of your life are when you're sitting down in whatever format it's going to be, whether it's a personality test talking about it with somebody else, writing it down, or just reflecting quietly.

The idea of is my life original enough? Am I doing something that's unique I think is going to come up naturally. And the truth is as Elizabeth Gilbert calls out, it doesn't really matter because it's brand new to you, right? There's [00:27:00] going to be something that's brand new to me. And therefore I've got the permission as you say, to go out and not feel guilty or judged or under pressure from other people, because the truth is they don't know.

It's only something in my own consciousness that's putting me off. 

Mike Parsons: Yeah. And the really. The permission that I was talking about is Elizabeth Gilbert is talking about if it works for you, if it's true to you, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter if it's been done before or not, or w O w what she said, what he said does not matter.

It's just about finding something that is true to you. What a big bucket of inspiration from Kyle, Dan and Elizabeth, really opening up this discussion, mark, just really pushing us, nudging us to really delve into this somewhat under discussed, but it is overly important in terms [00:28:00] of how are we going to experience our every day and if we're going to feel good about it.

I really I feel like it's really opened up in front of us now. So mark, before we get into the second. Part of finding your purpose, where we're going to get into some real knowledge and expertise in some real tools to get it done. I just want to say thank you to all our members who are listening to us right now, and to remind them that this is a master series to go to moonshots.io.

Go there, get the show notes. Make sure you're looking at this because there's got to be a ton of links. We're going to have links to the shows we've done on Kyle Dan and Alyssa. So make sure you go to moonshots.io, get those links, but we're also going to any of the tools we've mentioned, we've already mentioned 16 personalities.com.

We'll have a link to that. So you can check that out. The entire guide to finding your purpose is literally@moonshots.io. Isn't 

Mark Pearson Freeland: it, mark? Yeah. We're going to have [00:29:00] reading lists with I can't remember the number in today's episode. I think we've got maybe 10, 11, 12 books and articles that can help you members go out and find your purpose as well as a number of links to some frameworks that we'll talk about later in the show, it really is the library or the catalog of useful tools, hints, tips, and tricks to help you go out, consider your purpose, and go out and find it today.

It's all going to be over at moonshots dot. 

Mike Parsons: Fantastic. So I think that launches us now into the second part of the master series, episode eight of the master series, finding your purpose. And we go to somebody who is very popular with you. Our listeners, our co moonshot shutters is Mr. Mark Manson. He is the very famous author of the subtle art of not giving an F bomb.

And he's got some strong thinking [00:30:00] actually, when it comes to figuring out what you want in life, when you come to considering your purpose. So let's have a listen to the man himself, Mr. McMahon. One of the things you talk about when we're talking about, deciding what you want to do with your life, whether it's a business or going to be a pickup artist or whatever it is this the importance of asking the question, why?

And in the society and culture we live in, especially one that's so driven by comparison where your values are almost being handed to you by Instagram and the Kardashians. This is how this is what you should value. I almost, I've almost felt, I remember one day a kid came up to me after I did this, like big talk on stage.

And he said, I want to be a public speaker. And he was like 17. And you're thinking, but you've got nothing. Like

really what he's saying is he didn't want to be a public speaker. He wants the admiration. He thinks public speakers get, probably because he's insecure 

Mark Pearson Freeland: and. 

Mike Parsons: So many kids, including myself as a young kid, we don't actually know what we want. We have no fucking clue, but what we probably want is not to be insecure and get laid at the heart of it.

And the pursuit of that as you've [00:31:00] described, takes us down a dark alley to the wrong place, usually a dead end as well. So how do I figure out what I actually want in my life, without it being Kardashian noise or Instagram? What does what do I want and how do I find out? I think so it's a tricky thing, right?

Because again, I think you cook, you have to get it, right? It's like the relationships you need to get a couple wrong before you know how to get it right. And I think it's the same in pursuing a career or finding a purpose in life. Like you, you need to get it wrong a couple of times because we're experts at tricking ourselves.

It's like that kid, he wants admiration, right? But if you ask them in his head, he's no. I'm just really passionate about communicating with people. I love people, and it's we all do that to ourselves. We all, like we find the admirable narrative to explain what we're, what we want in the world.

So I think you need to go through, you need to hit a couple of dead ends. It's like that kid, he probably should go get on stage [00:32:00] and give the speeches and get the applause and then realize that the applause doesn't solve anything. That he's still just as insecure as he was before. Because in once, once he does that, then he'll be ready to ask that question of like, why do I want to do that?

Like, why am I really doing this? It's almost a question you have to earn in a lot of ways. Interesting. And I feel like a lot of people, they just want to start there and it's no. no. You have to like, because look, we're all like the Kardashian thing, right? Like the reason that stuff is so popular is because we're wired to value it.

We're wired to want status. We're wired to want to be beautiful and sexy, and we're wired to want to impress others. That's never going to go away. The question is what do you want? Once that is removed from the equation, but I think mentally to be able to remove it from the equation, you have to try to get some of it first and see that it doesn't 

Mark Pearson Freeland: work.

The question of why I love this topic that comes up [00:33:00] between mark Manson and the diary of a CEO as they discuss his book, the subtle art of not giving out. I think it's an apologies members. I think there were a couple of swear words that got past us there. I think what's really interesting, again, as we consider the topic of today's show, which is about finding a purpose, is that the area of discussion that they're breaking down, which is how influenced we all are by external factors.

So true. Isn't 

Mike Parsons: it. And I love thinking about it, whether it's the Kardashians or just your neighbors or your colleagues They were really getting into this thing of, you've got to put all of that aside. What works for you? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: What works for you? If you see your neighbor driving a posh car, and that makes you jealous, then it shows that you're into material goods and that's not necessarily the right way to go.

Is it 

Mike Parsons: because it's in it's more than that. Good for them who says the [00:34:00] Porsche's is good for you though. It's AB maybe you want a little fee of 500. If that's what makes you happy. Good. That's the permission they're giving us stop worrying about what everybody else is doing and worry about what you're doing.

Is it the right thing for you? Are you pursuing. Your purpose. And I think the real thing here is if you have one thing that you can control is you don't need to read about the good or bad things as have others, to the kind of level of infatuation that many people find themselves doing on social media, turn it off, stop worrying about the Kardashians and think about that time going in to you and the things that matter to you and to the people that matter to you.

That's how you get to what you want. Not by, seeing the latest pepper, see photos, not by seeing the latest wedding [00:35:00] or marriage breakup with some sort of celebrities that doesn't matter at all. It just doesn't matter. It's got nothing to do with you, and if your neighbor's driving a Porsche, good for them.

Mark Pearson Freeland: For me, Mike, one of the, because I can see the effects of social media wasting my time. I'm sure we've all experienced it where we suddenly catch ourselves. And we look at the clock and think, why have I been on Instagram for so long? Or, I had to unfortunately delete Tech-Talk a couple of years ago during COVID because I was on it and I just spend too much time.

Cause it's obviously designed to bring you in. So a trick that I do Mike, to make sure that I don't spend too much time on these platforms is either to remove it entirely, such as I've done the tech talk or if it's something that occasionally I'll use to keep track with family and friends like Instagram, I'll put a timer on it.

So I can only use it for a [00:36:00] certain amount of minutes per day. And then it locks me out. 

Mike Parsons: That's great. Can I give you another tip? Just move them off the homepage of your phone. Isn't 

Mark Pearson Freeland: that amazing. 

Mike Parsons: I moved in. I just put them all in a folder on the second page and my usage dropped dramatically because what I realized is I had the habit of you flick your screen open and there it is.

And it's saying click E and so just manage your attention, right? Yeah. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: And there's another tip the people that I've run into maybe two or three times now with family that I know turning your phone into gray scale. So you change, you remove the colors in your settings. Oh. And the design of all these apps that are obviously designed to bring in your attention is then removed.

So you're less likely to go out and use them because it's no longer visually stimulating. And what it does, therefore is it gives you your time. 

Mike Parsons: As soon as you're not dragged into it. [00:37:00] That's very cool. There you go, sir. So now that we put our attention to ourselves, there's an important job to be done, and that is understanding the difference between who you are and your ego.

And we did a lot of work on ego in the moonshots podcast famously we did Ryan holiday's ego is the enemy and Eckhart Tolle the power of now. And in both of those books, the authors explore just how divisive our own ego is the fears, the fight or flight the greed the over self-importance that comes with.

And we have two heavyweight thinkers, Mr. Adam Grant and Shane Parrish, both who we've covered in length on the moonshots podcast. So head over to moonshots.io, if you're interested in more episodes and more of their thinking, but they actually go together in this conversation into an [00:38:00] attempt to really separate identity and ego.

And they actually have an answer which is specifically driven around purpose. So let's find out what that is by listening to Adam Grant and Shane parish. I think one of the things we need to do is we need to give ourselves permission to enter rethinking cycles. And there are a lot of ways to do that.

We could talk about, but Shane, I'm going to ask you about this because a couple of years ago you wrote a post about how we should have more, second thoughts. And I had literally started writing about that. I think it must've come out around the time that I was writing to think again, book proposal, and I had proposed a tentative title for this book as second thoughts.

I was like, this is amazing. You're on the exact same wavelength as me. And this is what you do for a living. You rethink things. You also ask the Farnam street community and your whole audience here at the knowledge project to rethink a lot of their convictions. So where do you start your rethinking cycles and how do you know when it's time to enter one?

I think I've just summed this up as like outcome [00:39:00] over ego. And so I usually try to wrap my outcome urate my sense of identity, or you go in the outcome and that's something I learned when I was working for the intelligence agency. Like it wasn't about me having the best idea. It was like, who's got the best idea because that's going to get the best outcome and then.

You grow up in an environment where that becomes, I would say the norm by and large, it's hard in a knowledge environment though, right? Because you have so much of your worth you want to contribute to something. I think there's a biological need to contribute to something larger than us.

And if your identity, you're not mechanically making something, you can't see, there's nothing tangible to what you're producing. Then you, you effectively are a knowledge worker in one way or another, and then you're paid for your judgment. So if you've judgment, isn't right. What is it? And then what you do is you force your way, right?

Like you, you don't intentionally sabotage other people, but you only look for confirming evidence. You're not open to changing your mind because your sense of identity is tied to being right. Because that's how you contribute [00:40:00] to the organization. It's interesting, but not at all surprising to me that you really learn this in the intelligence community, because the way you're describing your process of rethinking is exactly what I learned from studying superforecasters right.

Which is they will often come in to making a judgment and say, okay, the only way to have a better shot at getting right, or excuse me, the only way to, to have a better shot at being right, is to recognize all the places where I'm wrong. Yeah. And I love this practice in particular, that they came from one of the superforecasters in the book, John pare Begum, who, when he forms a tentative opinion will actually make a list of the conditions under which he would change his mind.

And I've actually started doing this over the past few months because I don't want to get locked into something that was, Sort of a a soothing belief, but ultimately one that's not going to serve me. We used to do that too. We used to like track here the key variables that are going to drive this, and here's the range at which we expect those variables and the moment they go outside of that range, it triggers a a rethinking, if you will of, oh, maybe we're wrong, [00:41:00] maybe we got this wrong and now we can course correct.

And the earlier we can course correct a, the less costly it is and be the more likely we're going to be correct in the ultimate outcome. And that's what we're focused on is like not the when you're dealing with what we were dealing with, you want the ultimate outcome to be successful. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I think Mike, we all want the outcome of our work, our families, as well as our lives to be successful.

And I think hearing Adam Grant and Shane Parrish really breaking down this concept of rethinking cycles. And second thing, second thoughts. I think again, inspires me as I think about finding purpose. It gives me the permission again to make. To go out and consider maybe rethink what it is that I'm doing or that I've done in the past to scrutinize and determine whether it's it, whether it is in fact, my calling, my purpose, what are you, what do you take away from this idea of outcome over [00:42:00] e-com ego identity?

Mike Parsons: It's really when you want to pivot, isn't it? There are these moments where you might think I think I might need to change something about who I am or how I'm living. And I think the ego in us is what stops us from making those changes. I don't want to look silly. I don't want to do something wrong.

I think another big one is I don't want to give up what I've got. Like the cost of the switch is too high oh, so I want to be a a African flute. But I have to give up my job on wall street.

That goes to the the Chelsea apartment, the Soho apartment that goes to the cars. Okay. That's your ego speaking. But if playing that flute really is the thing, that's the outcome. You should follow that path over your ego, which was staying all the possessions that you have. [00:43:00] And I think we're scared of making the wrong decision.

We're scared of the sacrifice, but I think what Adam and Shane were doing there is focus on the outcome and avoid your ego, swinging you the wrong way. We were saying earlier, imagine how many people have dreamed of doing things of living a particular life, but because it either wasn't original or maybe they'd look a bit silly, they didn't.

Mark Pearson Freeland: There's a real connection. I think between feeling silly, getting, allowing the ego to get in the way and that idea from Elizabeth Gilbert on originality. Because again, it speaks to that. Concepts that I think is ingrained into us about being the best at something being the most original. And I think it is it's that enemy of the ego is Ron holiday would say it instead of allowing ourselves to be our own worst [00:44:00] enemy.

Take the time to do that second thought think and rethinking cycle, as we were hearing from Shane and Adam, maybe question decisions, or maybe really question and recognize if you're on the wrong path, according to what kind of keeps you excited and keeps you motivated and that'll then help narrow and refine the direction that you're headed in without allowing that ego to really get in the way and cause you to choose something that ultimately doesn't align to your personality.

Mike Parsons: Exactly. Exactly. And it's so interesting because as you as you were talking there, what I was reflecting on is like how much of this is just happening in our heads. These are like these epic subconscious little tinges you get where you're like, something doesn't feel right. Or maybe you become very black and white and saying, I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing with X, Y, or [00:45:00] Z, but it's rarely in conversation.

It's mostly in your brain. And I think that we desperately in understanding and finding our purpose. We need to get. It's good to entertain these thoughts. Don't get me wrong, but we do need to get out of our heads a little bit. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: Yeah, I totally agree. And this next clip from the next individual, Mike, we're going to hear talking about finding purpose, I think is a perfect demonstration of somebody finally vocalizing a concern or an opinion that they had in their head and actually going out and acting upon it.

So this next clip we've got was from a very popular show. We did on moonshots podcast with Matthew McConaughey and this next clip, he's talking about his journals that he kept throughout the whole of his life. It's a great book called green lights. And the specific clip that we're going to hear from Matthew McConaughey is when he started saying.

So really 

Mike Parsons: he was saying no to some [00:46:00] big dollars at the time, right? That's right. So 

Mark Pearson Freeland: let's hear from Matthew McConaughey helping demonstrate to us and our members that it is okay to sometimes say no. And also the fact that red lights actually help you grow 

Mike Parsons: romcom offers came in to my agent for about the next six months, but nothing but rom com offers.

And I didn't even, unless it was a major offer, a w I just said no, and they just stopped at my agent's desk. Jim felt no. And then one of them came through that was like a gargantuan offer for it. And my agent said, it's a pretty damn good script 

Mark Pearson Freeland: too. 

Mike Parsons: And so I said we'll send you that, let me read it.

And I remember this, the offer was like for $8 million and the script is pretty good, but it was still a romcom. And I remember reading it and. No. Thank you. I remember feeling emboldened and strengthened by saying no. Thank you. Great. Sticking to my guns. No romcoms [00:47:00] six months into this drought.

Nope, not caving in now. Don't have fast hit Makani so he'd come back with a $10 million offer. No, thank you. They come back with the $12.5 million. Now I go dot ellipses. Nah, no thank you, Maddie. Come back with a $15 million offer. Wow. You know what? Let me have another reread of that script.

And I only read that. At $15 million, the same script that I've been offered for eight may, not the $15 million offer script, which was the same exact words is the $8 million offer script. The $50 million group was better. It was funnier. It had possibilities. It had angles. I had ideas. I could make this work, this good work, but I said no, thank you.

That got the signal across Hollywood, that McConaughey was taking a serious sabbatical. And so don't even send him a wrong comp. So for the next [00:48:00] 2, 12, 14 months, Nothing came in nada, zilch, not an offer for anything. I checked, talked to my agent every couple of weeks. They'd just be like, nothing came in, nothing.

So now we're 20 months into this desert doing the work. I didn't know what I was going to be in to know if I was going to change my career. If I was going to become a teacher or a coach or go back to being a lawyer. I didn't know. I didn't think so, but I was writing more. I was talking about forest winters.

I'd put a forced winter on myself and I was I'm pretty content. I wasn't waking up every morning and going, did an offer. Come in, did something new. Come in. I was past that. And then all of a sudden 20 months in 2021 months into this desert, I could start getting some offers that are interesting things.

William freakin killer Joe, they Daniel's paper. Boy, Jeff Nichols wrote mud for me. Steven Soderbergh called magic wine. Richard Linklater not go do Burnie together. True. Detective comes [00:49:00] around all of a sudden. Dallas buyers club. No one still wants to, put a bunch of money up for a 1980s period drama about age, but all of a sudden McConahey all the directors were no directors would do Dallas buyers club with me.

They wanted the script. They love the script. They didn't want to do it. The guy, all of a sudden we find John mark fellow who wanted to, who says, no, I'd like to do with McConaughey. So what happened was that 22 launch or whatever at that drought at desert, I branded, I didn't rebrand unbranded me being away, me being in Texas, not being on a beach, getting pictures of me, shirtless on a beach, not being in romcoms.

I was out of the world's view. I was out of the industry's view. I was not in your living room. I was not in your theater. I was not in any of the places that the world had become expectant to see me and how to see me. Where was it? I was gone. [00:50:00] Where is McConnell? Hey you're gone long enough. All of a sudden I became a new, good idea, and I just started hammering them.

The family came with me everywhere. I went and just started laying down work that really turned me on. So they have somebody who knew their purpose, mark, somebody who knew what they wanted to do and were able to withstand that story of going from eight to 15. That is in saying, I wonder how many of us would have taken the 15?

Mark Pearson Freeland: I certainly would have been tempted. I think it's, I think it's a really valid story as we consider the. Topic of finding your purpose, because what McConaughey breaks down for us, they're in a pretty, pretty exciting story of this forced winter as it calls it for 20 months, it's epic. It's showing me that there is never [00:51:00] a situation that you become totally a typecast.

He was I remember when I was growing up, he was that topless guy in all the wrong cops and he was pretty good at it, but I could see he was, that was it. That was his thing. And it just demonstrates hearing him really breaking down from the coalface of what actually happened and went through, through his head.

It shows me if I'm in a situation that I don't really enjoy, maybe I'm good at it, but it doesn't really tell me. Yeah. No matter where you are, no matter what the cost $15 million or otherwise say, no, you can say, no, you can be disciplined and you can get away from it and brand yourself. 

Mike Parsons: I think it's such a perfect way to articulate why the hell you should spend time getting to the bottom of your purpose and finding out what it is because it gives you the ability.

Not only to say yes, but in [00:52:00] so many, a times, do you hear successful people saying it's not only what you say yes to, it's also what you say no to. It's how you focus your time, your effort and your energy and McConaughey. He knew exactly. What to say no to. And he was open, he took another rate of the script, but I think he had such a fundamental grasp of his purpose and the need to be unbranded and to take a new pivot and a new path in life that he was able to withstand that.

And I think that's a great example for us that we can all attempt to live up to. Is that when we're pursuing our purpose, there will be distractions. We need to say no powerful stuff. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: Oh I think that story is just really captivating and like I say, yeah, it does demonstrate and give us all confidence when you pair it with [00:53:00] Elizabeth Gilbert and this idea of permission, it gives you confidence to go out, give it a go.

If you can survive the cold forced. Great. Just allow yourself to have the time to really figure out what it is that gets you up in the morning and go and live in that way. If only Mike, we had one more part of the show to really teach us some frameworks in order to 

Mike Parsons: daily habits 

Mark Pearson Freeland: on how we can actually find our purpose.

Mike Parsons: Yeah, that's all coming up. But if you're really getting into this and you want to have a listen, for example, to the McConaughey show that we did have head over to moonshots.io, you can dig up all our past episodes, the back catalog as they call it in the Bismarck. But you can also get the show notes for this very episode.

All of the links, all of the readings, suggestions, whole ton of stuff. It's all over it. moonshots.io, frankly, Mac, I think good things happen at moonshot stuff. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I think with all of the transcriptions we've got for every [00:54:00] single show, 168 as per today's recording as well as links to all of our show notes and documentations for all of the master series episodes.

It really is in my mind, at least a little library of education and ways for us to learn out loud and become that best version of ourselves. I think that is the destination for me. If I'm looking for a mental models and inspiration from authors and entrepreneurs, so listeners and members head over to moonshots.io.

If you are thinking about diving into some of these shows that we've referenced already some clips from Cal-Maine ARD, Matthew McConaughey, or otherwise, everything is over@moonshots.io. 

Mike Parsons: And we heard just recently from Matthew McConaughey, who is definitely. Allison's favorite? Definitely the people's choice in terms of absolute superstars of the moonshots podcast, where we are going to [00:55:00] use yet another super heavyweight wouldn't you say, mark, if McConahey was one of the newer heavyweights, we're about to kick off the third part of our show with an absolute classic heavyweight of the moonshots podcast.

Mark Pearson Freeland: This is third part of today's show is about encouraging and helping us realize daily habits, frameworks, and ways that we can understand and find our purpose and adopts practices in order to follow them. And I think Mike. To introduce us into this third part, the Mr. Moonshot himself, Mr. Simon Sinek, and this first clip in part three of today's show that we're going to hear about is Simon.

Sineck breaking down this idea of having a clear message in mind and how to get there. So let's hear from Simon, Sineck giving us a little bit of a breakdown into what he calls the golden circle. 

Mike Parsons: Why did you go to bed? What's your purpose. What's your cause? What's your belief? Why does your company [00:56:00] exist 

Mark Pearson Freeland: in the 

Mike Parsons: face of bombardment of manipulation and manipulation?

Manipulation is not that's the marketplace. How do you get your message to stand out? How do you get your message heard? Why should anyone listen to you? As it turns out there's a pattern, as it turns out all the great and inspiring leaders and organizations in the world, whether it's apple or Martin Luther king or the Wright brothers, they all think act and communicate.

The exact same way 

Mark Pearson Freeland: and it's the complete opposite to everyone else. All I did was write it down. 

Mike Parsons: I call it the golden circle in the middle of the word, why the center ring is the word, how, and the outside ring is the word one. It's this little idea that distinguishes those with the capacity to inspire versus everyone else.

Every single organization on the planet knows what they do. These, the products you sell, or the services you offer, some know how they do it. What do you call it? Your [00:57:00] differentiating value proposition or your USP. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: It's the things that you think make you special or different or better than your competition, but very few people 

Mike Parsons: in very few organizations can clearly state why they do what they do.

And by why I don't mean to make money. That's a result. Why did you got to bed this morning? And why should anyone care? Why should anybody care and starting with you when he first came onto the scene asking this question, why it was like, it had never been asked before. Everyone's oh my gosh. And it shows you, we need to be constantly reminded to ask the question.

Why do I do what I do? Why am I approaching things in the way I approach in them? Why, what a damn good question. It 

Mark Pearson Freeland: is one that I think as we've been hearing from today's clips it's something that maybe we don't ask ourselves very much. I think [00:58:00] as we were talking about earlier, it's perhaps a question that businesses will start asking themselves.

Now maybe with the help of management consultants probably inspired in fact, by Simon Sinek and his work with start with why and find your why. But I think it is one that as an individual, I do assume that people don't really dig into. And again, as we heard from part two of today's show, it's possibly down to ego, it's possibly down to a lack of confidence is possibly down to the fear of not being original as we heard from Elizabeth Gilbert.

But I think as we think about a framework that will help. Look at ourselves, look at what inspires us. Look at what gets us out of bed in the morning. This golden circle, this work from Simon Sinek, I think is pretty helpful. 

Mike Parsons: Mike, don't you think I do? So how do we put this one into action? And it gets me asking [00:59:00] myself some basic questions and to use this circle of Y, which is basically you described what you do as an individual, then you describe how you do it, and then you describe why you do it, and it becomes harder and harder as you go through the process.

Let me tell you w whatever it is that you do. That could be one in a million things, but let's focus on the how and the why. And I think like a really good starting point for whatever it is that you do. That's the, what let's focus on some exercises for the how. And I think when you're doing this for yourself, it's really a question of what are the values?

How will you execute what you do, so what you do you're a plumber, you're a carpenter, you're a teacher, a fireman, a consultant. That's what you do. But the question is how are you going to go about doing that? And I think a very good way to [01:00:00] brainstorm and to hold yourself accountable there on how you behave is to ask with what values let's do an exercise for you. I'm going to give you a list of values and you tell me, just call it out. When you hear one that really speaks to how you want to execute your purpose. Okay? Okay. Loyalty, spirituality, humility, compassion, honesty, kindness, integrity, selflessness, determination. Generously.

I'm halfway through the list. Any of these ones grabbing it? Oh 

Mark Pearson Freeland: yeah. I'm I'm writing a couple down as you go. These are getting. Definitely I'm definitely feeling loyalty. Loyalty for me speaks a lot to the what gets me up a bed in the morning, which is all about teamwork. I love having a good team around me and loyalty.

I think plays a huge part in that compassion, I think really comes into that. I like being a people person. Yep, exactly. I think we both like understanding [01:01:00] the other party's point of view the work of clients or partners, or even colleagues. If you understand and have compassion for what they are concerned about, maybe a bit of empathy, then you can start understanding the pains or the problems that they have and therefore more, better go out and solve 

Mike Parsons: them.

So let me hold you right there. Okay. So let's stay with compassion for a minute. So we've got what you do. And how do you want to do that? One of the keywords is compassion. Okay. So we've got a nice build here. We've got what you do, and you're going to do it with compassion right now to follow the Sinek model.

Here's what you do is you ask why and that moment that you can all feel right now, that's where you're really closing the loop on your purpose. So as an interesting exercise, mark, why do you want to act with compassion? [01:02:00] Why is it that you do these things with compassion? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: So I think, and members just so you have full transparency, we haven't scripted 

Mike Parsons: this.

I sprung it on, I'm so sorry. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I love this. And the reason why I think compassion speaks so highly to me is because I want others to treat me with compassion. 

Mike Parsons: Very good. Now that's very good, but you can actually take it even further. Are you ready? Yeah. So you can use this idea of completing this statement.

I am doing my thing is mark. And I'm doing that with one of my most important values, which is compassion, because I believe now you keep going, what do you believe? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I believe everybody has a right to be 

Mike Parsons: heard. Okay. And let's keep building that. [01:03:00] I want you to tell me what is the positive outcome that happens when everybody's heard 

Mark Pearson Freeland: everybody, if everybody is heard, then everybody has an equal chance to be the best version of themselves.

I suppose 

Mike Parsons: now. So what's really interesting here is that if you're working on your purpose, exploring the what, how and the why, and building this out in a rigorous way will help you feel better in an off yourself, because you've hardwired this into you now. So did you notice it was interesting that you ended with, 

Mark Pearson Freeland: yeah.

Yeah. A lack of confidence. This is 

Mike Parsons: your purpose. Dude, we gotta have this nailed. So often one of the great exercises here is to really understand the positive outcomes. If you live to your values. And I would say that in [01:04:00] terms of compassion creates an underlying respect for others, understanding of others.

And when people understand each other they can do great things together. They can be the best versions of yourself and that's a world you want to live in and you want to see come true. Boom, 

Mark Pearson Freeland: that's it. You want, I want to see that world. I want to don't we 

Mike Parsons: all that's right. Yeah. So what we're doing here.

Mark, and all of our listeners and members is just a. Deliberate and explicit exercise to make your purpose clear, to make it hardwired, because if you live and breathe that every single day, if you come back to that consistently, you will build your subconscious. You will prime your subconscious to make this come true, to make this come to life, to make this an everyday practice.

Pretty good, huh? [01:05:00] 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I th I think what's really interesting is now that we've, now that I've dug into this concept of compassion, I can see that with every moment of my day, whether it's getting on a bus, sitting in traffic, ordering a nice tasty coffee. There'll be opportunities for me to show that compassion to people, and if I'm maybe fed up about traffic or maybe I'm annoyed at somebody sitting next to me on the bus, whatever it is, knowing that reason why knowing that purpose then makes you question, hang on, is my behavior upper line? Is it in line? And then you think, oh hang on. I'm not going to say something to that person because that's not compassionate.

And I know the compassion is my value. So therefore, you know what, it's not that big a deal. And it almost relieves that stress or that desire to, to say something or do something [01:06:00] because you don't need to. 

Mike Parsons: It's exactly true. So this is just like going to the gym. You can't just do it once and your muscles will stay big and strong.

You got to keep working it. You got to keep working on your purpose. And if you look at Napoleon hill and thinking grow rich, if you look at Michael Gerber on E-Myth, in fact, what you will uncover in the greatest self-transformation books, people who work on themselves and purpose is a big part of that are those that succeed.

So this is not just a once in a, every now and then when I listened to moonshot. Do you think about purpose? No, quite the opposite. This becomes a regular practice and the more regular, the more powerful you will be, because you'll be in touch with your purpose. And I'll tell you, who's got a whole lot of power mark.

That is the Japanese island of Okinawa, where they practice. Fantastic self purpose self-mastery [01:07:00] framework of icky guy. And you have dug up a fantastic clip about icky guy. So you want to set that up 

Mark Pearson Freeland: for us? Yeah. Icky guy. It's a framework that we've referenced once or twice on the master series, as well as in the moonshot shed for, but we've never really dug into it properly.

And what better time to really explore it then when we're trying to figure out our purpose. So this next clip we've got it is from Tim Tamashiro and he breaks down his EKI guy. And it's a wonderful little demonstration of how we can go out and maybe even write our own today. So let's hear from Tim Thomas shadow breakdown, the treasure map of icky guy.

This 

Mike Parsons: is the treasure map. Eeky guy has four directions. Do what you love, do what you're good at, do what the world needs and do what you can be rewarded. It seems simple, but it's difficult. I spent this last year figuring out what my eeky guy is [01:08:00] and I've boiled it down to a two word phrase. My eeky guy is to the light.

That's what I go out for every day in the world. What are their, I'm talking with a clerk at the grocery store or a firm singing a song on stage, or if I'm on the radio or if I'm giving a Ted talk to you, wildly attractive people right now, my eeky guy is to delight. I throw it out into the world and I get it back in return.

It's the full cycle. Now you're probably wondering to yourself that's great, Tim. Now we know what your Ricky guy is. What is my geeky guy? Let me give you some directions on how you might be able to start figuring that out. I suggest the start part-time. Part-time icky guy is within reach, right?

It is very within reach. And I'll tell you something. When you look out there and on the screen that there are two sections of the day where you don't really do anything that adds up to eight hours, you can focus [01:09:00] your work on the five to nine hours of the day. Okay. Start part time, figure out what you love to do and what you're good at.

Spend time on that for as long as you like. And there's a couple of ways you can do that. You can start a side hustle, or you can do a side helpful a side hustle, by the way. There's a lot of millennials that have side hustles up to 50% of millennials have side hustles, according to studies, 50%. And why do they have those side hustles?

It's because it gives them the opportunity to be able to do what they're good at and do what they do. And it opens up the opportunity to be able to transfer that part-time leaky guy into maybe full-time icky guy down the road, and it doesn't hurt that you can make a little bit of money off it either.

But what if money isn't necessarily behind your ikigai? Maybe you want to just broaden your heart while you can do a side helpful. Instead eeky guy [01:10:00] is an action. It's a verb to serve, to create, to delight, to nourish, to provide, to teach, to heal, to connect, to build leaky guy is as reliable as a mathematical equation.

Icky guy equals time affluence, plus your gifts plus rewards in return, and you can do it over and over again. And you're going to be so much richer because of it. You are meaningful. Life is not a destination. You have to get. You are meaningful. Life is something that you can enjoy right now. And any time you want to.

Okay. A little bit of joy every day is going to add up to a lifetime of joy. Isn't it. And when you finally get the chance to spend time getting to know what you do or what you love and what you're good at your eeky guy will start to come into light. And eventually over time, you will earn your black belt.

Your meaningful life [01:11:00] is going to be a lot of work, but I think you really already know this, that you are worth the work. And now you have the eeky guy map to show you how so I invite you to try. Oh, boy, do I want to try icky guy after listening to that market, 

Mark Pearson Freeland: it's a great clip from Tim Thomas shadow.

Isn't it. He really does visualize it and break it down for us. And I think he's done a great job at really calling out that, to be honest, it is going to take a little bit of time, a little bit of effort, and it's a lot of work, but as he calls out, you're worth it, you're worth the investment of 

Mike Parsons: time. So this is the whole point, we spend all this time at the gym working on our body.

But surely our purpose, how we feel when we're on our deathbed and said, was that all worth, [01:12:00] it could do with a little bit of time as well. I'm like, I'm feeling a sense of trepidation because icky guy is such a big framework. Like it really deserves its own master series if I'm quite honest, but here's the thing.

That I would offer to you mark in the end, I think. If anybody is really interested in their purpose, they've probably often heard this idea of follow your passion. And we have actually cautioned a lot against that as a an exclusive way in which to find your purpose. Because if you are following your passion, Is that of any use to the world.

Can you be paid for it? Here's one, are you actually any good at it? All right. So what eco guy is saying, you need to find a harmony between what the world needs is there actually a market for it? Do you love doing it? Can you be paid for it? And are you any good at it? The closer you get to the alignment of those things?

That's when you're in the sweet spot, what a great homework [01:13:00] assignment for our listeners, particularly because they're now over an hour into the show, into the master series. If you're still listening and if you're still captivated hit the show notes, we're going to have a big eeky guy framework in there for you.

Go and answer the question. What do you love? What are you good at? Or can you be paid for, what is the world need? Go find those answers, do them all at the same time. And good things will start happening, but it's not like. It's only perfection can bring you satisfaction here. Even starting to orientate around one of those questions.

I think there's a lot to give inside of each of those. Isn't there mark a 

Mark Pearson Freeland: total lot to give. And if you give yourself the time it might take a year, it might take you longer. Maybe it will be a, your lifetime work to understand your icky guy. The point is we're through the process of figuring it out, considering reflecting, asking yourself these questions, you will start to determine that thing that kind of makes you get up in the morning and that you [01:14:00] live for.

So I personally, Mike, I think it's so worth the experience worth doing, because it just helps you really compartmentalize and understand the ways that you are inspired in the day. 

Mike Parsons: Yeah. And where you find natural energy. It doesn't feel like work. Another way to, to apply icky guy is to imagine that you don't.

I need the money just for the exercise. Imagine that you don't need to pay any bills. How would you spend your day now? The closer that day that you would dream about. If you didn't have to pay the bills, the closer that day represents the actual day that you live, then that's when, in this case you have icky guy, but in really simple terms, that's when you know you're following your purpose.

Like I can tell you today, I woke up after eight hours sleep awesome. I woke up [01:15:00] and the birds were whistling outside. That's awesome. I stretched, I journaled. I did breath work and meditation. I went for a run and I came back and got to spend two hours working on the moonshots master series. That's my day.

So pharma, when I look at icky guy, I'm like, tick tick, tick. Now I'm going to have to do some harder things later today. But even that the day I've won the day I'm doing what I was born to do, I would do this even if I wasn't getting paid, because it's look at that list. That inventory is a good things.

That's a great way to think about icky guy. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I that's a really nice way of doing it, actually. You're right. Remove the external pressures and try and challenge yourself to think. What would I do if I was on a permanent holiday? 

Mike Parsons: How would you live your life? But I would caution you from using holiday or retirement, I could say.

Yeah. Yeah, [01:16:00] because that's what you do. Cause you're knackered from work. Think about it this way. How would you spend the day if you didn't have to work to pay the bills? And the big trick here is if you find the balance of icky guy, which is the world needs, what you're doing, you're actually pretty good at it.

You love doing it. And if you can find that it is something the world will pay you for and boom, it doesn't feel like. It doesn't 

Mark Pearson Freeland: feel like work. Nope, you're totally right. And Mike, we've covered areas and frameworks from Mr. Simon. Sineck I think there's so much mileage and value within icky guy and Tim Tamashiro is just a simple, quick introduction to all of that work and that Japanese concept.

And I think it's fair to say you, and I definitely recommend our members to pop along to moonshots.io, check out the links, [01:17:00] download the framework and really start to dig into it. But we do have time for one more clip today. Don't we? We 

Mike Parsons: certainly, I do. And it's the perfect partner to icky guy, because you could literally start with the question, what are you good at?

And rather than just think about it rather than, daydream about it. One thing you can do every single morning is you can arrive. A journal. You can journal on those four big icky guy questions and who better than a Ryan holiday to talk to us, to share his advice with us about how to think clearly.

And that is through writing. The next lesson from the Stokes is journaling. And I would say that there's almost no distinction between stoicism and journaling. The philosophy is the philosophy of journaling, my concern to release his meditations. That's not a book he intended for you and me. [01:18:00] That's his journal.

He was writing these things to himself as the most powerful man in the world about how to be better, how to think more clearly, how to let things go. What was important, what his principles were, who he wanted to be as a person. So if you're one of those people that says, oh yeah, I'd like to journal, but who has the time?

I don't have 20 minutes in the morning. I don't have time before. The most powerful man in the world spent time with a journal every single day. He had to do it with far inferior technology to you and I, so you absolutely have the time you have to make it. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: Mike, to compliment Matthew McConaughey, Hey, reflecting on his 20 mammoth, forced winter to compliment the idea of spending time on the things that get you up out of bed in the morning with a golden circle frameworks and eeky guy.

I think we all might start to question the idea of actually just sitting down, finding time to do all this work. [01:19:00] And I love that clip from Ron holiday saying to us, if Marcus early is the most powerful man in the world, back in his time can do it. Listeners, you've heard our Ron holiday series or even picked up Marcus Raley's his daily meditations or Ron holiday's series of books.

You can learn that there's so much time and effort and Marcus Aurelius put into his work and daily journals that it wasn't even intended for you and me. And he was commanding armies politicians money, and he found time to do it. And what better way? To reconsider and reevaluate how much time that you and I and our members have as we think about finding our purpose, then to hear that the most powerful man in the world did it.

Mike, you've just referenced that you do it every morning. So I suppose you and Marcus earliest share quite a lot of similarity. 

Mike Parsons: Oh gosh. I could only train mark now. I'm a humble servant of the journal. And just on [01:20:00] my beginner wheels when it comes to stoicism, but for the listeners and for you, mark, I would just say, just take one question in a journal today and ask yourself, what are you good at?

And just write to that. It could just be a word, cooking, sailing, carpentry, whatever. And then tomorrow ask the question. What do you love in your job? Yeah, it could be in the morning. It could be at night. I just tend to like getting my thoughts right in the morning. If I was to write a journal in the evening, which I occasionally I do, I tend to write what I am grateful for.

On the third day, you can write what the world needs and on the fourth day, just write some thoughts to what can you be paid for? And imagine what will come to you just through those four days of journaling. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: That's a good sensible recommendation for the next four days. Isn't it? [01:21:00] Something so simple.

You can do it on your phone. You can do. I prefer a paper journal. I think you do. Do you do digital Mike or do you do 

Mike Parsons: paper journal? I prefer to type, I probably wouldn't go for the phone. But I liked tight. I liked the typing and sometimes even do voicemail. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: Voice memos is a great idea because yeah.

What we were talking about earlier, if you're out and about as well as the idea of vocalizing it to somebody else, helping figure out your problems. Yeah. That, that that's a great build. I like that. Yeah. That's a really nice tip and you can listen back to 

Mike Parsons: it. Of course, exactly. And I know how he would really encourage that.

Wouldn't he 

Mark Pearson Freeland: certainly would, because again, he was really all around referencing or reflecting on what it is that you've written down. And again much like eco guy or even the golden circle. Mike referring back to your journal is an opportunity for you to almost retake a personality test or understand whether your [01:22:00] attitudes have changed, because it might be that you write your eeky guy now.

And it changes after a couple of years. 

Mike Parsons: Absolutely. 

Mark Pearson Freeland: And I think that's okay. It's okay if it's dynamic and not fixed. I think as long as you have an up-to-date inverter commerce concept or set of values in your mind, you can therefore, like I was discussing with compassion, get on the bus or interacts with your colleagues or family in a method or a behavior that's appropriate to your values and your 

Mike Parsons: purpose.

Totally agree. And hopefully that's the power in this whole system that we've discovered here on the moonshots master series, a whole episode, dedicated to finding your purpose, any homework assignments that you've given yourself, mark, having done this big, deep dive. I think 

Mark Pearson Freeland: it's too easy, too.

It's too easy to disregard taking the four big questions or the full concepts within ego [01:23:00] and breaking them down day by day, I think to not do that would be a little bit lazy on my behalf. So that's going to be my homework. I'm going to start with those questions and to grab my journal and day by day I'll answer, what do I love?

What am I good at? What does the world need and what can I get paid for? And then I'll combine them and see what Mikey guy looks like after that process. 

Mike Parsons: Fantastic. Thank you for joining me on this journey into inter Pipers. It was very dense. Wasn't it? 

Mark Pearson Freeland: I believe we've done a pretty comprehensive, deep dive into the reasons why we should find your purpose all the way through to some practical tips and ways of picking up a journal or process today and starting 

Mike Parsons: to unlock it.

It wasn't really a salad. It wasn't really like a lasagna. It was like it was the the salad at the beginning. It was the lasagna. It was the gelato. At the end, it was the good Canty through the [01:24:00] whole thing, finishing with a nice sharp espresso coffee. It was the complete meal to finding your purpose.

Yeah, it 

Mark Pearson Freeland: was a full three course meal with after dinner mints, 

Mike Parsons: thoroughly enjoyed it. My gosh, it's been like two decades since I've had an after-dinner mint with my mail taking me back. Martin, thank you to you and thank you to you. Our members are listening and sharing and learning out loud with us here on the moonshots master series today, it was the master series, episode eight, finding your purpose.

We heard from Kyle Maynard who encouraged us to follow our path. Dan Millman pushed us beyond happiness towards meaning and Elizabeth Gilbert really asked us to accept originality and authenticity to our purpose. Mark Manson came with his trademark, figure it out, guys, stop listening to the Kardashians.

Workout what you think. Shane Parris said, put your ego aside, focus on the outcome. And McConaughey said [01:25:00] go into the winter of 22 months because it's the red lights that help you grow. And of course this wouldn't be a master series for that Simon Sinek. And the real delight was to hear from Tim to hear what his Tricia map method icky guy was.

And the man who's going to help us make it happen every single day is Mr. Ryan holiday with his invitation to journal every single day. So there you have it, that's it for the moonshots master series. That's a wrap.