Dan Harris: 10% Happier
EPISODE 190
Dan Harris the Author of 10% Happier and Nightline anchor embarks on an unexpected, hilarious, and deeply skeptical odyssey through the strange worlds of spirituality and self-help, and discovers a way to get happier that is truly achievable. After having a nationally televised panic attack on Good Morning America, Dan Harris knew he had to make some changes.
Harris realized that the source of his problems was the very thing he always thought was his greatest asset: the incessant, insatiable voice in his head, which had both propelled him through the ranks of a hyper-competitive business and also led him to make the profoundly stupid decisions that provoked his on-air freak-out.
We all have a voice in our heads. It's what has us losing our temper unnecessarily, checking our email compulsively, eating when we're not hungry, and fixating on the past and the future at the expense of the present. Most of us would assume we're stuck with this voice that there's nothing we can do to rein it in, but Harris stumbled upon an effective way to do just that.
10% Happier takes you on a ride from the outer reaches of neuroscience to the inner sanctum of network news to the bizarre fringes of America's spiritual scene and leaves you with a takeaway that could actually change your lives.
What will you learn? How to deal with stress more effectively, mindfulness, and how to meditate.
INTRO
Dan Harris introduces us to why he wrote the book and the issue with the voice in your head
Public panic attack (3m36)
MEDITATION
Dan speaks about the importance of focusing on one thing at a time
Monkey mind and mindfulness (4m02)
HOW TO BOOST YOUR HAPPINESS BY 10%
Dan and his initial reluctance to try meditation
Three steps (3m12)
Dan breaks down the five things he did daily during COVID to protect his mental health
5 tips to protect (2m54)
OUTRO
Dan’s final tips toward having a 10% happier life, and how to appreciate the difficulty whilst having a sense of humor
Embrace the challenge (3m54)
READING LIST
Prefer a snapshot of 10% Happier by Dan Harris. You can find it here on Blinkist.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the moonshot podcast. It's episode 189. I'm your cohost Mike Parsons. And as always I'm joined by the man with the plan, Mr. Mark Pearson Freeland. Good morning, mark.
[00:00:13] Hey, good morning, Mike. I've gotta say I am super excited for us launching into a brand new series for the moonshot show today.
[00:00:23] Are you excited?
[00:00:24] I hopefully we'll be feeling a whole lot happier. Mark. What about you?
[00:00:29] that's right today, listeners and members. We are diving into a brand new type of series on the moonshot show. Today we are diving into happiness and we're gonna launch. Into the idea and theme of happiness with a book by Dan Harris called 10% happier.
[00:00:47] How I tame to the voice in my head, reduced stress without losing my edge and found self-help that actually works. Mike. That's gotta be one of the more appropriate and more enticing titles for books that we've done on the show. Wouldn't you say?
[00:01:02] Yeah. If his headline. And title was 10% happier that, that payoff, that subheading is the longest subhead we've ever had on the show.
[00:01:12] How I teamed, let this go through it. How I teamed the voice in my head, reduced stress without losing my age and found self-help that actually works dash a true story, mark. It is it might be. Like big and verbose subtitle, but actually there's so much in this book. That's why we've chosen to start this series with 10% happier by Dan Harris, because it goes after something that let's be honest, happiness, it's elusive.
[00:01:42] It's a thing that is hard to find. And. In the reality of our daily lives. We often find stress a lot quicker than we find happiness and Dan Harris. He may have had a very public panic attack, which as listeners might remember, but he found a way out of his breakdown and he's written a book about it.
[00:02:03] So I'm really looking forward to sinking our teeth into 10% happier by Dan Harris. Mark, what do you do?
[00:02:11] Yeah I'm really excited to hear from Dan and we'll launch into that first clip in a second as well about what happiness is, how we can achieve it and what it means to each of us. Because I think what we're gonna find out Mike through the series is how happiness has different interpretations and different benefits for each of us.
[00:02:32] And I think what's really nice about Dan, as we're about to hear is his approachableness and. His ability to, I think, break down what happiness means to
[00:02:41] him. Yeah. And I think Mike, the fact that he had as a TV news anchor, he had a very public breakdown freak out on television. He literally had a panic attack live on air didn't.
[00:02:58] Yeah, that's right. And maybe Mike, the best way for us to hear about this event, this moment of pivoting for Dan Harris is actually to hear from our first clip of the show, which is Dan Harris himself, introducing us to why he wrote the book 10% happier. And actually what happened when he had this very public panic attack.
[00:03:19] We are going to turn to a story we're calling 10% happier. We're trying something a little different on Nightline tonight, because I'm gonna tell you a story about me. Actually. It's not just about me because I found a way to make myself significantly happier and it could probably work for you too. I stumbled upon this whole thing as a result of a bizarre unplanned Odyssey, and it all started with the most embarrassing day.
[00:03:44] Of my life from ABC news. This is good morning, America. We're gonna go now to Dan Harris at the news desk, Dan. Good morning, Charlie and Diane. Thank you. This is me 10 years ago. And the reason this is the most embarrassing day of my life is not that it looks like I've been attacked by a blow dryer and a can of hairspray.
[00:04:01] No, it's that I am about to freak out on national television. Health news. Now, one of the world's most commonly prescribed medications may be providing a big bonus. Researchers report people who take cholesterol, lowering drugs called statins for at least five years may also lower their risk for cancer, but it's too early to prescribe statins slowly for cancer production.
[00:04:22] At this point, I realize I'm helpless. So I' bail in the middle. That does it for news. We're gonna go back now to Robin and. The control room, clearly taken by surprise, continues to roll video for the next story about Harry Potter, which I was no longer able to read. All right. Thanks very much.
[00:04:40] Dan Harris at the news desk with some of the headlines of the morning, wanna go to Tony Perkins. Now he, once the fear subsided, humiliation rushed in. I knew with rock solid certainty that I had just had a panic attack on national television. So why would I tell you this very embarrassing story? Because that air meltdown was the culmination of something that had been building for years.
[00:05:00] Something I never stopped to address. It's something we all battle, whether we have panic attacks or not call it the voice in your head, the voice I'm talking about, the often nasty inner narrator who discourages and derails you, when you're considering going after opportunities in your life, that stew of urges and impulses that has you losing your temper and regretting it later, or putting your hand in the fridge when you're not even hungry.
[00:05:23] And for many of us, it's that nagging temptation to float off into our own heads instead of actually listening to people.
[00:05:30] Caught me and my wife at the bay town.
[00:05:32] It's a love story. My favorite comedian, Dave Chappelle nailed it on his show, a company for Mon. He spins NASCAR
[00:05:40] race
[00:05:41] unicorns. In my case, like many Americans, my inner voice.
[00:05:46] Was pushing me to succeed at the annual new year's party in New York. This is me in my late twenties. Thank you to Ann Adam. I had my dream job very much, but I also had doubts about whether I was good enough, but it's hard to do that. All right, I'm gonna try it. 3, 2, 1, my solution. Becoming a workaholic after nine 11, I volunteered to spend years in war zones where I covered the heroics of our men and women overseas and got a real taste of both the horror and the adrenaline of combat Americans to Institute healthcare for now, here I am back home.
[00:06:17] His practice makes perfect, I may look okay, but the guy you see here. He's having trouble getting out of bed. This tax debate is one of the clearest choices in this election. After years of always barreling forward. When I finally slowed down, it was as if my mind revolted and I got depressed. And so in my free time, I briefly, but stupidly began, self-medicating even using cocaine, which my doctor would later tell me, almost certainly produced that on air panic attack.
[00:06:45] That realization that I'd been blindly letting my urges and impulses yank me around. Became a turning point.
[00:06:52] Oh my gosh. Things got really out of control for Dan Harris, right? Not only was he having that panic attack on air, but when you hear that subsequent breakdown, Whilst it's scary because he was so outta control.
[00:07:08] You can also, I'll have to admit you can see yourself in it as well. Can't you mark?
[00:07:13] Absolutely. I wonder what's interesting. Obviously it's an amazingly unique and perhaps surprising story, but I think the relation that I can take from that is this idea. Trying to be the best, this voice that Dan Harris calls out, maybe driving him into those war zones to progress his career.
[00:07:35] Ultimately he thought he was going out and doing these things because it made him happy. But actually what I think he is. Slowly realized when he eventually did have that public as he calls it freak out or panic attack is he realizes, oh, that, wasn't what I wanted after all, if anything, it was negatively impacting me.
[00:07:55] And I think this is gonna be a classic theme that we're probably run into a lot on the happiness series, which is what. Are you most happy about it, right?
[00:08:06] Is it something where you're putting yourself in the war zone or is it actually just taking time to, to work on yourself?
[00:08:12] Yeah. And I think the hard thing in this is sometimes you have to push into challenge and adversity in order to do good things, if you're working on something good, it doesn't necessarily mean the day's going to be easy or stress free. It's also about knowing the line between. A healthy stretch and then an unhealthy stretch. Don't
[00:08:32] you? Yes. And then that unhealthy stretch for Dan was this idea of self medication. So he was probably going into these environments, both from a war zone perspective, as well as professionally, putting himself into the key events or talks and so on, and then thinking, okay if I'm doing all this, then I need to find myself with a bit more energy or I need to be the best version of myself.
[00:08:57] And I'll instead look towards Let's call them proactive or maybe healthy alternatives. He then went into this self medication process, which ultimately again, led to a decline in the way that he was functioning and performing. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's a pretty relatable story really, where somebody tries to push themselves hard, finds their, starts, getting tired, and instead of slowing down or taking the foot off the gas, they find reasons or ways to, to power themselves forward.
[00:09:30] And I, so I think, what is super useful in what we heard from Dan Harris, author of 10% happier, right then is whether you are feeling a little bit too anxious about something, whether you've developed some bad habits or coping mechanism, doesn't really matter. I think the beauty in today's show is that we've got somebody who's been in the valley of darkness and he got out.
[00:09:54] And so there's a little bit of help. He can give all of us. So ahead of us in the show, we are gonna learn about mindfulness. We're gonna learn about how to get ourselves in good shape, and it's gonna be super practical. It's gonna get our thinking, it's gonna get all that monkey mind, which is something we've talked about or mind chattering about, how to tackle that voice in your head and how to get yourself on the right track to be the best version of yourself.
[00:10:22] What a great way to start the day. What a great way to start this series. I tell you, what's also really good. Mark is celebrating and tipping our hat to all of our members. We are just four members short of launching our merch line. The designs are done. The store is ready to go. And it's thanks to you.
[00:10:44] Our members that were that close to launching the merch, to getting those moonshots t-shirts and all the other goodies that we've got ready for you. But mark, I think it's only appropriate that we tip the hat to all of our members.
[00:10:59] I'm gonna tip the moonshots, branded hats to all of our members via Patreon, including Danana Bob Niles, John Terry, Neil Marling, Ken Dimar Marja con Rodrigo, Yasmin, and Lisa Sid.
[00:11:15] Mr. Bonura, Maria, Paul and Hellman and David, Joe, Crystal Evo and Christian hurricane brain, Sam Kelly, Barbara and Bob Andre, Matthew, Eric, and Abby ho. Joshua Chris and Kobe, Damien Deborah Gavin. And Lasse Tracy, Steve Craig, Lauren and Javier. Mike, halfway through, I think I lost track. The list has become so long.
[00:11:41] we're super grateful for all of your support, cuz that helps us pull everything together, pay for all the different services it takes to create, produce, edit, distribute the entire show, to get it out to all four corners of the planet. So thank you to our members. We really do appreciate your support.
[00:11:59] It means a world to us, the fact that you are seeing the value in what we do and giving a little value back. So hopefully we can do that right now as we continue the journey into Dan Harris and be 10% happier and something that I battle with is something called the monkey mind. And Dan Harris has some thoughts on that.
[00:12:19] So let's jump.
[00:12:20] I'm not gonna lie to you. It wasn't awesome. It's hard. The act of sitting there trying to focus on one thing, getting lost and returning is, takes grit. It's like holding a live fish in your hands. And especially when you're new it's like learning it, it is, it's not like it is learning a new skill and it takes a little while to get used to.
[00:12:42] That being said, I very quickly started to notice some significant benefits. The first was my ability to focus got better. I can't prove this just so you know, I just I'm I feel that it's true, but I didn't have my brain scanned before or after. However, there have been studies that show that meditation can help with your ability to focus.
[00:13:00] We live in an age that's been called the info blitz Creek. This is better than anybody. And it is very hard to do one thing at a. And in my job, I literally have other people's voices directly in my ear through an earpiece. It's really hard to focus and yet very important that I do.
[00:13:18] So because I need to get the story correct. I need to report it correctly. So I just found that the daily exercise of trying to focus on one thing and then getting lost and starting over really helped me with that. The second benefit was the big one. And it's this word? Mindfulness it's become somewhat of a buzz phrase.
[00:13:37] Oddly, it's also like a boring Aine sounding word, but it is a game changing proposition. A simple serviceable definition of mindfulness, which by the way, it's in an incredibly rich term, it goes back 2,500 years into all the Buddhist texts. But lemme give you a simple definition that can be relevant in your life, which is the ability to know what's happening in your head at any given moment without getting carried away by it.
[00:14:03] I was gonna say that again, not to be didactic, but it is useful to hear it twice. It's. Skill of knowing what's happening in your head right now without necessarily taking debate and acting on it. So let's just think about how useful this could be. You're standing online at Starbucks or at one of your 5,000 micro cafeterias here.
[00:14:23] And somebody cuts you off. What happens you think to yourself I'm pissed and then what happens next? You automatically reflexively habitually inhabit that thought you actually become angry. there's no buffer between the stimulus and your reaction with mindfulness on board with a little bit of meditating, you might be able to notice after that person cut you off.
[00:14:48] Oh, my chest is buzzing. My ear is turning red. I'm having a Starburst of self-righteous thoughts. I'm getting angry, but maybe right now, I don't need to act on it. I I like to think there's another way to think about this. I'm not a good artist, but I drew this. You can think of the mind as a waterfall and that's water coming down.
[00:15:08] Those are your thoughts. Most of them have to do with me. My mindfulness is the area behind the waterfall. You are stepping out of the traffic and watching what's happening. Nonjudgmentally we have three habitual reactions to. Piece of every stimulus in our life. We want it, we don't want it. We don't care.
[00:15:30] And mindfulness is a, and a fourth option, which is to just see it dispassionately without getting involved. If you think I'm making this up, it is worth noting that we, as a species, are classified as homo sapiens, which means the man or woman who thinks and knows he thinks. But the second sapiens has been atrophying with time because nobody points out to us that we have this bonus level in our brain, which is the ability to step out and watch it calmly and not judge.
[00:16:02] This is something that is so important, Mike, isn't it? The ability to be aware without reacting. I think we've run into this a couple of times on the moonshot show, particularly when we're digging into Eckhart, with the power now. And I'm sure we are gonna both enjoy digging back into that in a minute as well, but this idea of being aware.
[00:16:26] Of what's happening in your body and maybe even what's happening in your mind, the areas that you are leaning towards, that person's frustrated me all panic, because I've got an email that I've gotta respond to and instead or even getting angry with a partner or a colleague. And instead of reacting, just observing is something that's so intrinsic and really interesting.
[00:16:47] I think. When we think about happiness as a method to protect your emotions, I think it is a fascinating little framework. What do you think?
[00:16:57] I was listening to that clip again, Mark, and I was thinking about echoing Dan Millman, both of whom we've done shows on. So if you are interested in this mindfulness, definitely want to check out those two guys on moonshots.ao, have a listen to those.
[00:17:13] They really talk to some of this stuff, the what's so brilliant about the show mark is that even though we've gone to the, like some of the leading gurus on mindfulness and being present, we get someone like Dan Harris comes along and uses this analogy of the waterfall and stepping back and letting the water pass you.
[00:17:36] I cannot tell you how well that captures what for me, I hope to achieve through mindfulness, what I hope to achieve really through that. That, that sort of fourth alternative to experiencing the world, which is just observing without judging, because what I notice about myself is if I'm not careful I can Be too on too much of a roller coaster, I guess is a good way of saying it with all the ups and downs of all the work that I do.
[00:18:08] All the things in my personal life and professional life. That can be exhausting. And it reminds me of something that people comment on in parents where parents live through the ups and downs of their children. And, this is exhausting because you have your own life. And then you're also living through the ups and downs of your child because you love them and you want the best for them.
[00:18:29] It's all good intentions, but it's an exhausting process. I relate so much to this idea of being more disciplined in choosing how you participate. And I think something that's been so big on the show, mark is you might not ch you might not be in control of everything. In your life, but you certainly have control over how you want to respond.
[00:18:55] And I think this is one of the biggest single ideas that we're gonna get from Dan Harrison, that we are in control of that response. And it's something that we've seen with the likes of Kartel, with the likes of Dan Millman, we are in control of our response. And if you do choose to take control, that's how you tame the voice.
[00:19:17] In your head, would you agree?
[00:19:20] I couldn't agree more, to be honest. There have been plenty of times for me when that lack of, let's say awareness of the present moment has led me to waste minutes, hours, days or week
[00:19:35] or longer. We all do
[00:19:37] it is because, and as Karol calls out in the power of now every minute that you spend worrying about that future, Or every, and the future being, where am I gonna be?
[00:19:47] What's my job? What car am I gonna drive? Or conversely, every minute that you spend regretting the past. Oh I shouldn't have said this or I wish I'd done that. I regret not doing this for a minute because all you really. All of us really do is live right here right now in the present, sitting in front of our microphones, recording the moonshot show.
[00:20:08] So this awareness, this ownership, this ability to catch yourself, let's say before you jump into the waterfall and instead you can see the water is barreling past you and instead of getting washed away and maybe. Distracted and so on. Instead you can just watch it and say, okay my emotions are moving pretty fast now, but that's okay.
[00:20:31] Because I know where I am, I'm in my room and we learn lots of good tips about how to stay in the room in the power of now and our series around then. But what was interesting for me when I hear Dan again, he's just, he's an, every man, Mike, he's a guy that was just one day, had a bit of a challenge, and then went on this Odyssey of.
[00:20:52] New skills and new practices and frameworks and behaviors. But the thing that really stands out to me, when I hear him tell these stories and these anecdotes is the ability to catch himself when he is starting to feel maybe overwhelmed or stressed or whatever you wanna call it. And then being able to proactively.
[00:21:14] Change or just notice his mind observing how he's reacting I think is something that I think we can all strive to try and go and do.
[00:21:21] Yeah. And I think what the great news is, I think anybody who's listening right now is probably thinking, okay, this Dan Harris guy had a tough moment and can relate to that.
[00:21:32] Seems to have found this mindfulness. That's all good for Dan , but how do I do it? And be rest assured Mark, you and I are gonna really decode that. Get into some very practical habits, tips, advice, framework, everything you can do. And it really spans this idea from how to relax, how to become aware particularly of your body, which brings you into the moment breathwork gentle movement meditation.
[00:22:01] I think the summary here is how we can think less and be. More that's what's ahead of us in the show. But I think what's important right now is to establish that we all experience things where anxiety and stress really start to dominate how we're feeling, being, and thinking and how we can really.
[00:22:26] That voice in our head can really take control of the situation. The good news is that we tame the monkey, mind, the mind chatter. The answer is mindfulness. And now that we've established that logic. I think what it gives us the opportunity to do is actually getting to some of the things that you can do right after you press.
[00:22:47] Pause on this show. You can go and do them. You can tame the voice, you can reduce the stress and you can actually go out into the world and actually be the best version of yourself. It's such a powerful set of mindset up front, but then equally we are gonna really get into some great habits.
[00:23:09] Aren't we? Mark?
[00:23:11] Yeah, that's right. And another habit that I think we should remind ourselves, Mike, as we look at our daily to-do lists and running in our journals is popping along into our podcast app of choice and leaving a little rating or a review for the moonshot show. Wouldn't you think?
[00:23:27] Oh man, I heard there is good karma, Luna powered.
[00:23:30] Good karma. If you do this kind of thing. That's right.
[00:23:33] And all it takes, Mike is just hitting pauses or even you could let the podcast carry on playing in your headphones or over your speakers pop along to the apple podcast or the Spotify app or any of the other overcasts. And so on anchors of all the podcast apps and just leaving us a little rating or review for the moonshot show, it really does make a difference.
[00:23:54] If anything, Mike, I think it makes you and I. More than 10% happier because we get ourselves into the ears and the minds of listeners from all over the world who we know really benefit from checking out the show, wouldn't you say?
[00:24:11] Oh yeah. And look who doesn't wanna be 10% happier. It's, let's be honest, but really if you're listening right now and you have this moment, I would really ask that of you. Unlock your phone, jump into Spotify, go in there, give us a, like jump into apple podcasts, give us a rating or review. We would so very much appreciate it. What you have to realize is we have listeners all over the world.
[00:24:37] We have listeners in Mexico, Norway, New Zealand, Saudi Arabia, Argentina, Singapore, Taiwan, Nepal, and Macau, Estonia. We. Literally thousands and thousands of listeners, every single one of them is trying to be the best version of themselves. And I think that is so cool that we can learn out loud together.
[00:25:03] So you can be part of spreading the moonshots message, which is that you have the chance to be the best version of yourself. Come learn out loud. Give us a rating or a review, and we would deeply appreciate it. And you'll be connected to, just to call 55, 60,000 other people on that exact same mission.
[00:25:25] So mark, we're on a mission right now to be 10% happier. Where do you wanna start some real habit design things we can do every single day? We heard
[00:25:34] a little bit from Dan in the first half of today's show, referencing and relating to his difficulties. I suppose you call them with getting into meditation and mindfulness and the impact the monkey mind had on him being able to pick it up as a habit.
[00:25:50] So let's hear now from Dan from a very practical perspective. Give us some three steps, three tips. Round how he was able to get past that initial reluctance and try meditation.
[00:26:02] I always assumed meditation was for people who like crystals, incense and John Tesh music. In other words, there was no way I was going to meditate.
[00:26:11] But then I heard about scientific studies showing that meditation can, among other things, lower your blood pressure and boost your immune system. And then I learned that meditation does not necessarily involve wearing robes, lighting, incense, or believing in anything in particular people of any faith or no faith can do it.
[00:26:27] In fact, it's totally straightforward. There Are basically just three steps. Number one, sit upright. Doesn't have to be cross-legged. You can do it in a chair on the floor or whatever. Two, just try to feel your breath coming in and going. And three, whenever your mind wanders, which it will a million times simply return your attention to the breath.
[00:26:47] One day after I learned all of this, I very reluctantly gave it a shot. Breathe in what kind of bird is a big bird, breathe out. I need a haircut. What's the, she decided to be yelling in a way. It was like a panic attack. My mind hurling, lots of crazy thoughts in me, ideas for old school, hip vegetable van Winkle.
[00:27:05] Why? But this time I had a weapon in a game, dude. In those brief moments where I was simply focused on my breath, breathe in, breathe out, breathe. It was like pressing the mute button on the voice in my head. Where did gerbils run wild and breathe? When I described myself as more of a hollow or a shock, I breathed out and it created space between the thoughts before they inevitably came Mero back.
[00:27:30] Meditation is like exercise for your brain. I'm not speaking metaphorically here. Brain scans show that short daily doses of meditation literally grow the gray matter in areas associated with self-awareness and compassion and shrink the area associated with stress. As for me, it's not like my life has become a nonstop parade of rainbows and unicorns.
[00:27:51] I still sometimes let work stress me out and distract me, but my emotions and impulses no longer yank me around as much. Which frankly is a superpower. Meditation has also helped me slow down enough that the good stuff in my life has become much more vivid from the fact that ABC lets me be the co-anchor of Nightline to simply eating cookies with my wife or playing with our cats.
[00:28:14] An important point here. It is possible to get. Happier in this way, without going soft. These Marines here are part of an experiment to see if meditation makes more resilient warriors. The first time they said to you, we're gonna teach you how to meditate. What was your gut reaction? That this is gonna be absolutely ridiculous.
[00:28:33] Corporate executives are using it too. Even the lead singer of Weezer who told me meditation helped him pure crippling stage fright. That's about eight, eight years ago. I started practicing two hours every day. And at first the unpleasantness got worse before I was going on stage.
[00:28:48] And I was wondering is this really working? But I stuck with it. And now I feel so much calmer and check out this list of other conditions. Meditation has been shown to be good for. There are no miracle cures. Despite what you hear from the self-help gurus. I like to say meditation has made me roughly 10% happier.
[00:29:05] If it could work for a fidgety skeptical newsman, maybe you two should give it a shot.
[00:29:11] Ah, that's so good. A fidgety skeptical newsman. It can work for you too, mark. I just wanna relate to what he was talking about. He was joking around at the beginning there about how your mind actually works when you try to meditate.
[00:29:27] And here's how I relate to it. When I first tried to meditate. What blew me away. What really puts a stark contrast for me is attempting to think of nothing is really hard. And I didn't realize how hard it was until I tried to meditate. I didn't realize how much I suffered from monkey mind chatter, right?
[00:30:01] Yeah. Until I actually tried to meditate and go, wow. I've just noticed my brain just started thinking about something. You bring it back to nothing. And then it's like a young kid that doesn't wanna stand still and just runs off on you all the time. It is incredible. This what we're gonna call this monkey mind, how, until you really attempt to meditate, it's not until then that you realize just what is actually happening in your mind.
[00:30:31] And the build on this is, and this will be a big theme of this show and happiness. Is that you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts are different from who you truly are, but just to come back to this, my personal journey with meditation was once I actually started trying to do it, I realized it's hard two.
[00:30:54] Oh my gosh. My mind just wants to run, but this has given me the passion and the desire to work at it because. Between you and me and 55,000 other people, I was like, oh my God, my mind is totally bonkers. It just will not stop. And if that's the case, I've really gotta work on this meditation thing now because I didn't realize how hard it would be.
[00:31:21] For me just to slow the hell down to use what we were talking about before, just to observe without judgment and just let things go and come to this piece. I was like, no wonder. I feel so exhausted after a week. My mind is wasting all the time. How have you found it?
[00:31:43] I've found it. Almost the monkey mind for me is something that gets in the way of enjoying the present moments, and this is probably something that relates to you a lot, as well as for Dan, it gets in the way of maybe enjoying weekends, because you're thinking about either work or pressures or of some other kind.
[00:32:01] So that monkey mind when you then put it into a mindfulness or meditation perspective, I would relate it to. Having notifications, digital notifications constantly going off. So you're getting messages, you're getting emails, you're getting distractions while you're trying to sit down and just have a moment of peace.
[00:32:22] And we know from the moonshot how damaging and disruptive those digital devices are. Distractions can be right when we're trying to do our best work. So if you've constantly got your notifications from slack, WhatsApp, WeChat, whatever, constantly pinging in the background, you are not gonna be able to sit down and really do your best work because your mind will be elsewhere.
[00:32:43] This is something that we've heard from Cal Newport a lot. And for me, what I want to try and take us on a journey for is to think. Our monkey mind like a digital kinda like the distractions that constantly ping in our own heads, unless you can work on silencing them quite literally putting your monkey mind into do not disturb money.
[00:33:05] I love it. and then being able to love it to focus on something that's going to be worthwhile. Isn't it. We know the value. Putting off notifications and turning off notifications. So why not try and make the case for the same reason, but in your own mind,
[00:33:23] I love this idea. Your brain is like an iPhone and you need to put it on, do not disturb.
[00:33:28] Right? That's the idea that you have, right.
[00:33:31] Exactly. Exactly. And obviously, as we're hearing from Dan, from yourself, when we do our timeless classics with a kart, it takes time and that's okay. I think it takes everybody time. Doesn't it? It's like working any type of muscle you've gotta practice.
[00:33:47] Yeah. It might be a little bit painful at the start, but actually. The benefit that we'd all get from accomplishing that silencing, let's call it or just that exercise is pretty substantial. What are the benefits that you've already felt like through your practice, your process?
[00:34:04] The funny thing is like the way I, what I've discovered through meditation is probably that. I am 27 years old. I've just been in my fifth year and I've lived in four different countries. I've had a number of jobs, created startups, sold startups, worked at large companies, and worked. I work across all these time zones.
[00:34:29] I have. So many things going on that I'm like I discovered through meditation, I was locked in fifth gear, like just perpetual adrenaline performance producing stuff. And so the ancient wisdom of in order to go fast, you need to go slow. Ha it, it has fully dawned on me that I need to To meditate, to pause, to be still, to calm, to just observe and not judge, just to chill the hell out.
[00:35:02] And what has blown me away is the awareness of how much work I have to do to actually get to that. Because for so many years, I've just been locked into fifth. Like just actually going down into fourth and third year. Heaven forbid just putting it into first gear or just , it's really hard because I've got this habit, but when I do meditate, which for me is breath work as well as just total stillness, meditation, there's all sorts of different types of meditation, which you can check out like focus meditation non-focused meditation.
[00:35:41] For me, Finding so much satisfaction in calmness, like calmness, is so deeply satisfying, particularly for someone like me who has a lot of energy. What is so amazing is that you can just find this flow and this comfort in meditation. That is crazy good. And it's true when you do put your mind to something.
[00:36:11] If you've got a really good meditation practice going on, like I notice if I've been doing it for a couple of weeks consistently, I just notice it's much more calm. Like the sharpness of my thoughts. It's so quick. And so precise compared to the kind of that, that fuzziness that you have when you're too stressed or just too busy in the head, like things just come intuitively and UN there's so much in this.
[00:36:39] And then if you are enjoying this. I think Mark, we need to call out, jump into the Eckhart to show Dan Millman. Is there anybody else you think that would be like a good follow up episode? If you're really getting into some of the thoughts of Dan Harris?
[00:36:55] Yeah we do have a pretty impressive lineup within the rest of the happiness series as well, Mike, but in terms of our past archive of shows, I've gotta say, was a big influence for us too.
[00:37:10] Pick up the do not disturb mode and close the door and get into, to the present moment. Do
[00:37:18] What about stillness is the key from Ryan holiday?
[00:37:21] All the stoicism work that we've learned from Ryan holiday is so important. The lessons from Marcus, a earliers that.
[00:37:29] Ron Holiday calls out with stillness that the key is so substantial because if you can be a ruler of Rome and have the armies and the people, and he still found time to do meditation each day, I think you and I can probably do it as well, Mike. So I think there's a nice admission
[00:37:50] look, if he can rule Rome and he doesn't even have the internet, like that's a pretty capable fellow, right?
[00:37:56] exactly. Exactly. But I think it really does speak to an extension of the productivity of the series that we did on productivity. Which is meditation. And exactly, as you've just said, Focus the ability to remove that fuzziness and actually just find that path to maybe to solution or a new idea that has become clear because you've taken time to slow down, I think is another great tool in the armament of how you want to go out and be that little bit more productive.
[00:38:27] And again, similar to what Dan Harris is saying here. It's little by little, it's a number of different frameworks and habits that then add up to maybe a hundred percent happier. What Dan Harris is finding here with meditation is that it makes him about 10% happier. And I love that. I suppose the honesty and the authenticity comes through there.
[00:38:47] It's not a one stop shop. It's something that is a little bit like Lego you add together and it builds and it's those building blocks that then equate to a more. Focused, maybe better version of yourself.
[00:39:00] Talking about Lego blocks and building the best version of yourself, Dan Harris has got more goodies, more tools for us.
[00:39:08] So let's listen to him with five tips to help us with our mental health.
[00:39:15] May is mental health awareness month. And so I want to talk about five tips for boosting your own mental health. Let me just say one thing. If you're struggling right now, there is nothing wrong with you. If you're feeling anxious because of this situation, that only means you are paying attention.
[00:39:31] One is sleep. Adults should be getting it. Seven to eight hours of sleep a night. So I would strongly recommend that you do your best to go to bed as early as possible. Obviously staying up, watching a little Disney plus or ABC network television or news is not a bad thing to do, but you don't wanna stay up too late.
[00:39:50] And it's. See, if you can get seven or eight hours of sleep, I think that is an incredibly useful operating principle. Another tip is to exercise or just to get some movement in your daily life. There's an enormous amount of evidence that shows that getting your heart rate up can really help with things like depression and anxiety.
[00:40:10] Third tip is meditation. This has for way too long, meditation has had a reputation of being something exotic or. Or for hippies, I have spent much of my professional life over the last decade or so trying to change this PR problem. I wrote a book about it called 10% happier, and there is also an enormous amount of science to suggest that short doses of daily meditation can really help with anxiety, depression.
[00:40:37] It could lower your blood pressure, boost your immune system, and many other benefits, according to the. Fourth tip is to get some nature. This often can be paired with the second tip, which is to do some movement. You can do both of these at the same time. Exposure to nature is really important.
[00:40:54] And it's been, again, a lot of science has shown that exposure to nature is directly correlated to a sense of wellbeing and the fifth. Tip I'm saving for last, because it's the most important we are social creatures. We are wired for social connection. That is really difficult in a time of social distancing, but getting that social connection is the most important thing you can do in my opinion.
[00:41:18] And this is based on having looked at a lot of the science for your own mental health. If you're on your own right now, make it a point to make phone calls and even better video calls to people you care about and talk to them. Out what's going on in your life and talk to them about what's going on in your, in theirs.
[00:41:35] One way to get yourself out of a rut is to reach out and help somebody else. So doing acts of service, acts of kindness for other people, while this can sound a little, I don't know, cliche, there's an enormous amount of evidence that can jar you out of your own rut. Your own. Often we get into sort of self-centered ruts that helping other people can really be beneficial.
[00:42:00] I wanna build on that last point that Dan Harris makes there. Mike, sometimes if I am having a bit of a slow day, feeling a bit down about something, whatever, it might be more, maybe a bit stressed about work. If you go for a walk and you smile at the neighbor or you go and buy, let's say a coffee G nearish coffee shop, and you have a little exchange with somebody.
[00:42:21] I personally find it really. Take a weight off the shoulders. And I dunno what it is. It may be because we are sociable animals or something else. But I think Dan's very right in combination with meditation, with sleep, with exercise, this idea of getting social again is so important.
[00:42:41] Wouldn't you say?
[00:42:43] Yeah. And particularly because, maybe post COVID, we have changed some of our social structures and habits and maybe we need to give it a bit of a boost. I really like it. Those five things. What essentials sleep, exercise daily, meditate, and nature. Be social.
[00:43:04] In all my years, I can tell you for me, that is a very golden recipe for a great day. One crazy thing. This reminded me of nature. One was a little bit of an outlier for me. And I did some work on this and there's actually this crazy thing that the Japanese have got, which is called forest bathing.
[00:43:28] And what they have this tradition of, for mental health is walking in forests. To replenish the soul. What a cool idea they call it forest bathing. Don't you think that is just like the coolest way to, to get into nature. This idea of forest bathing.
[00:43:50] Yeah. I love that idea. I'm gonna have to go and search that out.
[00:43:53] Mike, maybe I'll book you and I and the moonshots team into a forest bath. Retreat. Ah, because that does sound like a good idea. Doesn't it? Fresh air animals live.
[00:44:03] I had that experience with being in nature. Just a few days ago I was staying in a beach resort and the rain had stopped because it's winter here in Australia.
[00:44:15] And we had a couple of beautiful days where you could just walk on the beach, stand on the mountain, overlooking the ocean. And it was like, I was like an Energizer. It was just charging me up to embrace the challenges of life. Again. It was so damn good.
[00:44:33] It sounds so healing and valuable. It doesn't and when I reflect on Dan Harris with the 10% happier, he's talking a lot about these good practical tips that all add up a little bit like an equation or building blocks into being that happier version of yourself.
[00:44:50] But Mike, we do have one more. From Dan Harris, as he reflects on how to become that 10% happier in life. And I think we should close out the show by hearing from Dan Harris, once more telling us to embrace the challenge. I can't help
[00:45:06] myself, but think about it in terms of what I'm trying to accomplish.
[00:45:09] And every time I get distracted and I come back, I get this feeling of failing. I'm not doing it well, Uh Huh. And after doing it for a month and getting no better at it, based on the name of your book, I'm guessing you understand, it feels like I'm not accomplishing something. Yeah. I'm not getting better.
[00:45:24] Why am I doing this? And I just leave more frustrated than I entered. I was hoping
[00:45:28] you could talk to that a little. Okay. I have a million things to say about that. You are the big one if you're not alone. That's the deal. The good news is, let me just leave with the good news, cuz is that it gets easier.
[00:45:39] It just does. I've been doing it for five years. It's still hard, but it's a lot easier. And I do much more now than I used to. I do 35 minutes a day and I sometimes do a supplemental second sitting before I go to bed. So I find it helps me sleep. Not because I have to just be, nobody's putting a gun to my head.
[00:45:56] It's just grown organically and it's gotten a lot easier. But is it hard? Yes. Sometimes people come to me and say, I get it. You make a good case. Meditation is good for you, but you don't understand. I could never do it. My mind is too busy. I call this the fallacy of uniqueness. Welcome to the human condition.
[00:46:17] Everybody's mind is crazy. Think about it like going to the gym. If you go to the gym and it's easy, you are cheating. And if you're meditating and it's easy, you're probably cheating. Maybe you're enlightened or you're dead.
[00:46:33] you are fighting. As I said, in my speech, a lifetime habit of just blah, blah, blah, blah me, and it is hard to stop that by the way, you are not having, you don't have to clear your mind. You're just focusing on one thing that is the. So drop that. And yet here I am five years in and when I find myself lost and distracted, there's like a, I think I use this phrase in my book, a tornadic blast of self-flagellation the whole game is to just notice that too.
[00:47:04] Oh, I'm beating myself up. Let's go back to the breath and Sharon Salsberg, who's an amazing meditation teacher who spoke here yesterday. I had Bruner there on Sunday morning and we were talking about my problem of beating myself up when I get lost in thought. And she said, it's helpful. I have a sense of humor, because as much as you may think your life is about big things like faith, honor, fidelity, patriotism, whatever.
[00:47:33] and then that may be true, but most of your life and I can prove it to you. If you just sit down and close your eyes and watch what happens most of your life is. What am I gonna have for lunch? It's funny. So we're all assholes, and so just to sit down and close your eyes and then find yourself lost there.
[00:47:51] If you can do it with some lightness, if you can do it with a sense of humor, it makes it much easier. And then just know, and I'll repeat what I said at the beginning that it does get easier. It just does. And so you may not feel like you're accomplishing. But I'd like to hear after you do it for a couple months, what people who live and work with you say about you?
[00:48:08] Because it was my wife who started noticing it before I did. I started hearing her say at cocktail parties in my Mo Harris is less of a. And that really was a good motivator. And you, the great teachers will say it to you all the time. The real litmus test is what people around you are saying about your behavior.
[00:48:24] So just keep going. Don't worry. This is unlike everything else in your life where you do something and expect a preordained result, just it requires. And I know this is a sticky word, requires a little bit of faith or trust that it is worth it. And that is what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to embody. Thank you.
[00:48:44] Good luck.
[00:48:45] Oh boy. It's a lifetime of mind chatter. That's what we're up against. I think once you say that, then, ah, the battle is
[00:48:54] the battle is on with that monkey mind. And the best tool that we have in the box is our own approach to things, taking ownership and being aware and being able to go out and give yourself a little bit of practice, every single day.
[00:49:09] Yeah totally. Mark, thanks to you. And thank you to you. Our listeners here on show 189, where we studied the work of Dan Harris, his book, 10% happier, and his journey started with an awful lot of challenges in the value of darkness. A very public panic attack. And what he goes on to write about is that we're all in a battle with that mind, chatter and monkey mind, and we need to find a path of mindfulness and it starts with meditation, but it doesn't stop there.
[00:49:40] There's lots of other things, sleep, exercise, nature, and social, do these things and be ready to embrace the challenge. Be ready to embrace the fact that for your entire life, your mind has been going LA, to you. It down focus and breath, and you'll find that you can be the best version of yourself.
[00:50:00] And we can do that all together here every single week on the moonshot podcast. Cuz that's what we're all about. All right. That's it. For today. That's a wrap.