Jen Sincero: You Are a Badass
EPISODE 174
You are a badass is a self-help book for people who desperately want to improve their lives but don’t want to get busted doing it.
In this entertaining how-to guide, bestselling author and success coach, Jen Sincero, serves up 27 bitesize chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word, helping you to Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want and create a life you totally love.
INTRO
Jen Sincero reads the introduction to her book
Decide to change your life (4m18)
MINDSET
Jen Sincero and Michael Neimand (Network Marketing) introduces us to why we should not wait for the perfect time or make excuses
Take the leap (2m23)
BEHAVIOUR
Successful By Design talks ‘Source energy’ and how to tap into it - Meditation, Control Your Thoughts, and habits
How to tap into the motherlode (2m04)
Successful By Design says to let go of your old stories and stop making excuses
How to get over your BS already (1m10)
OUTRO
Jen Sincero and Michael Neimand (Network Marketing) call us out and tell us to stop worrying and start doing
Disappointment is a short experience (2m01)
READING LIST:
Badass Series by Sincero
You Are A Badass At Making Money
You Are A Badass EveryDay
Jen Sincero: You Are a Badass
TRANSCRIPT
MikeParsons: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the moonshots podcast. It's episode 174. I'm your cohost Mike Parsons. And as always, I'm joined by the badass himself. Mr. Mark Pearson Freeland Good morning. Me.
MarkPearsonFreeland: Good morning, Mike badass Parsons. We are staying strong in the habit series, which sadly Mike we're coming to the end of today,
MikeParsons: but it may be the end of a series, but before it's over, we are gonna get some serious badassery on, are we.
MarkPearsonFreeland: Yeah, that's right. This week, listeners as show number 174, we are digging into Jen Sincero, You are a badass, how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life. Mike, straight off the bat, that's gotta take maybe the award for the most inspirational subheading for a book we've covered on the show, right?
MikeParsons: It is. It's a great cover. It's given birth to a whole series from Jen Sincero and for [00:01:00] me, the thing that grabs me about this book out of the gate is in that subheading, she says how to stop doubting and. I believe that so many of us have this affliction, the human state of that voice in the background of self-doubt of being too scared to try things, fear of failure.
How many times mark, do we catch ourself where your mind is oh God, if that goes wrong, I'm gonna look like such an idiot. And. Think of all the good things that could have happened if we hadn't have listened to that.
MarkPearsonFreeland: Yeah. It's a topic that we come around on the podcast quite a lot. Isn't it?
This idea of the self sabotage that happens when you don't quite either believe in yourself or you have the confidence to act, and what happens is you then have very precursor or a behavior that you [00:02:00] repeat again and again throughout your life where you just say, no, I'm not gonna go out and try.
Maybe to run that little bit further, or I'm not going to go to bed that little bit earlier, or I'm not going to try something at work or at home, because I'm afraid of how somebody's going to react in front of me. And the truth is, as we're finding out as we live our lives and we dig into all these ideas and topics on the show, we're starting to find that actually you are often your own worst enemy and that , you could go out and have that really enjoyable life or try something new in your day to day existence that I only takes just that little bit of confidence and that little bit of courage just to say, oh, it doesn't matter what people think I'm going to go out and that go
MikeParsons: regardless.
Yeah. There's so much in this book you are a badass and it is like just the perfect book to round out if you will. Our series of really building. [00:03:00] Actions, building behaviors, really building the practices that you can repeat every single day so that you can really be the very best person that you can be.
And, we learn from Robert Sharma about when the morning, when the day Jim quick, it really was about expanding the potential of our mind and our memory. And what's so beautiful about Jen's work is she just comes at us with a whole heap of frankness, a bit of. Almost classic New York swagger and gives us a good smack in the face.
And she really challenges us like, all right, do you actually want to be the best version of yourself? She's gonna teach us how to have a bias towards action, how to fuel the energy and how to get over all of those little voices that Phyllis were self-doubt. And lastly, just to bring it [00:04:00] home in this show, we'll find out like what's the worst you can lose.
And it's amazing. Once you really get into that question, you realize the stakes aren't nearly as terrible as you may think, and that you ain't got nothing to lose. Mark. It's all ahead of us on show 174, where do you wanna start?
MarkPearsonFreeland: Oh, I'm so ready to start now. So I think it makes only sense for the author herself.
Jen Sinero to actually kick us off by reading the introduction to her book. And this is quite a nice little difference, Mike, for you and I on the show, we're gonna hear from the author actually opening up the book and reading the first elements of the chapter. So let's hear from Jensen shero set the scene for us and our listeners and how we all can take a moment to decide to change our lives.
JenSincero: You can start out with nothing and out of nothing. And out of no way away will be made. Reverend Michael Bernard Beckwith, former drug enthusiast turned spiritual and through [00:05:00] turned inspirational badass. I used to think quotes like this were a bunch of crap. I also didn't understand what the hell they were talking about.
Not that I cared. I was too cool. What little I knew about the spiritual slash self-help world. I found to be unforgivably cheesy it wreaked of desperation, rah churchiness and unwanted hugs from unappealing strangers. And don't even get me started on how grouchy I used to be about God. At the same time, there was all this stuff about my life that I desperately wanted to.
And had I been able to bulldoze through my holier than now is I could have really used some help around here. Overall, I was doing pretty well. I'd published a couple of books, had a lot of great friends, a close family, an apartment, a car that ran food, a teeth, clothes, clean drinking water compared to the majority of the planet.
My life was a total cream puff, but compared to what I knew I was capable of, I was, [00:06:00] shall we say unimpressed? I always felt come on. This is the best I can do really. I'm gonna make just enough to pay my rent this month again, and I'm gonna spend another year dating a bunch of weirdos so I can be in all these wobbly noncommittal relationships and create even more drama, really.
And am I seriously gonna question what my deeper purpose is and wallow in the misery of that quagmire for the millionth time? it was a Snower. I felt like I was going through the motions of living my lukewarm life with the occasional flare ups of awesomeness here and there. And the most painful part was that deep down I knew I was a total rock star that I had the power to give and receive and love with the best of 'em that I could leap tall buildings in a single bound and could create anything I put my mind to.
And what's that? I just got a parking ticket. You have got to be kidding me. Let me see that. [00:07:00] I can't afford to pay this. It's like my third one this month. I'm going down there to talk to them right now, then. Do off. I go consumed once again by low level minutia only to find myself a few weeks later wondering where those few weeks went and how it could possibly be that I was still stuck in my rickety ass apartment, eating dollar tacos by myself every night.
I'm assuming if you're listening to this, that there are some areas of your life that aren't looking so good either. And that, could be looking a whole lot better. Maybe you're living with your soulmate and are joyfully sharing your gifts with the world, but are so broke that your dog is on his own.
If he wants to get fed, maybe you're doing great financially and you have a deep connection to your higher purpose, but you can't remember the last time you, we, your pants laughing, or maybe you suck equally at all of those and spend your free time crying or drinking, or getting pissed off at all the meter mades who have precision timing and no sense of humor, who in your mind are partly [00:08:00] responsible for your personal financial crisis.
Or maybe you have everything you've ever wanted, but for some reason you still feel unfulfilled. This isn't necessarily about making millions of dollars or helping solve the world's problems or getting your own TV show. Unless that's your thing. Your calling could simply be to take care of your family or to grow the perfect tulip.
This is about getting mighty clear about what makes you happy and what makes you feel the most alive and then creating it instead of pretending you can't have it or that you don't deserve it, or that you're a greedy egomaniacal Fathead for wanting more than you already have, or listening to what dad and aunt Mary think you should be doing.
It's about having the Coones to show up as the brightest. Happy it bad asst version of yourself, whatever that looks like to you. The good news is that in order to do this, all you need to do is make one simple shift. You need to go from wanting to change your life, [00:09:00] to deciding, to change your life.
MikeParsons: Mark. That is a call to arms that is make make something happen in life, which starts with this question of Hey, do you want to truly be the best version of yourself?
Do you really want to unlock it? Or are you just gonna continue to swim with that Luke warm feeling of, eh, I'm doing right? Yeah.
MarkPearsonFreeland: I like that reference the Luke warm life. Yeah. There's been plenty of times for all of us. I'm sure. Mike, where we thought, oh yeah, this is pretty good. This is okay.
Something's lacking. As Jen was calling out, whether it's you want your NTV show or you just want to change something smaller, we all have limits in our lives where you think, ah, if only I could do this, And actually what I think Jen's pointing out is when you boil down the reasons why you don't go out and maybe try something new or go and achieve something that you've always [00:10:00] dreamt of, it's because of your habit of listening to others, or even listening to yourself, your doubt, that then creeps in and stops you being able to go out and do the best that you can do.
And I love that reference point that we, we had at the end of that clip there, rather than just wanting to do it, just decide it's that little pattern shift in your thinking, isn't it going from? Oh yeah. Desire into
MikeParsons: pro action. Yeah. So here's the interesting thing. What are some things we can do to actually force this mindset?
How do we get to This moment where we say, you know what, I wanna change my life or like a more subtle nuances. I wanna, I don't want to settle for mediocre. I don't wanna settle for Luke Warren. [00:11:00] How do we, I think we all flirt with this sense of I could do better, but how do we make it black and white and binary?
I think this is really interesting, cuz I would say a lot of us flirt around the edges of making this decision and the classic thing is that you see people that have a life changing event, like a, he scare, to how it often sparks this dramatic change in their life. Big shift. But yeah, but here's the thing like we don't want let's say the classic one. We don't want cancer to be the catalyst to us, like changing and improving our life. It'd be good if we had the mental fortitude to unlock that without such a dire situation. So here's my question. How do you think we unlock this?
MarkPearsonFreeland: I think for me and I'll choose a relatable element career for a moment when I've had moments of feedback with colleagues or mentors or bosses.
And maybe there's a bit of feedback that's come [00:12:00] up. Oh, you don't go out and you're not proactive enough. Or you don't look at opportunities to delegate work or you don't find areas to really improve this particular skill. I think by making. An out loud commitment to a colleague or an individual and saying, Hey, I'm going to work on this more.
You are then accountable to it. And I think that pattern or shift in behavior is instead of internalizing it, you're then saying it out loud and saying, Hey, I'm currently working on improving X, you almost have this propensity to need to go out and do it because you've said it out loud to somebody else.
So therefore
MikeParsons: social obligation, right? Correct.
MarkPearsonFreeland: Social obligation. And I feel like that for me, is quite a a promise that I've made to others in my career that so then allowed me to shift my pattern of behavior in order to try and achieve that. Does that ring true for you as well? [00:13:00]
MikeParsons: Yeah, I definitely when you share your goals with people, it really makes you accountable cuz you can't, it's harder to make excuses you can't hide in your own little mind and tell yourself some sort of mythology about why it didn't happen.
Yeah. I found a practice that I've mentioned on the show a couple of times is Imagining, like what is gonna be your legacy? What is gonna reside on this planet once you've gone, that is a result of your work of your action. Will the world be in any way better for your presence? And I find that a very good way.
To motivate myself to decide to change to improve my life to really give everything I can, to being the best version of myself. When I start going down that path of that questioning, what's my legacy gonna be? What's the one thing that I'm gonna before I die. And then you can start to do [00:14:00] some interesting follow up questions.
Like when do I feel? I'm in my natural place where I'm naturally gifted and talented and where things come easy. What are the three things that I do that stop me from achieving my goals. You can actually start following a whole line there, but I think what will drag us through could be anything in between the social obligation that you mentioned mark through to the.
Just a bit of tough. Self-reflection like, what's your legacy gonna be? What are you gonna leave for the world? And I find that is like an ice bath that totally wo woke me up when I was 20 years of age, when I was like, hang on a second, I've been lazy and avoiding failure. I've been of doubt. Not seeing things through, so like time to get serious and get down to business.
And that, that really unlock things. So if you're in search of some badassery, whether you [00:15:00] share your goals with your friends and family, or whether you ask yourself, what's gonna be left here when I'm done with this planet. Anything in between there will unlock some serious badassery, some serious realizing of potential.
And we got a whole group of people who are serious badass mark, and they are our members. Oh
MarkPearsonFreeland: my goodness. If anybody is inspiring us to go out and try and create the best podcast we can. And Mike it's our Patreon members. So as per tradition, I'm gonna do a fun roll call of all of our existing and brand new Mike Paton members.
Please welcome everybody. Bob Niles, John Terry bridie, Nile Marlin, and Ken deep breath. D mark Tom mark, Mar con of RGO Yasmine and spaceman, Daniela Lisa CI, Maria Paul Berg, Kaman, Annette, and welcome David. Thank you so much, everybody for really, [00:16:00] truly going out into your pockets and supporting the moonshots show.
MikeParsons: We really do appreciate your contributions. We, just one Starbucks coffee a month really does make a difference. And we've now reached 25 members, which is fantastic. I think mark, it's so important to remind people. The that cup of coffee that you are donating to us once a month helps us cover all the variety of costs that we that we have to put this show together.
Transcription podcast, hosting website, hosting, managing all of our different platforms. There's cold herd cash. The is required to get this show to you so you can learn out loud. And we appreciate what you give us back in return. And if you are listening to this show right now, and you've got a moment and you are thinking, Hey, I'm into being a badass and being the best version of myself, [00:17:00] go over to moonshot star, become a member.
You will be joining our patrons. And if we get another 25 patrons, mark, we are launching something into the stratosphere. What happens when we crack the big fiber?
MarkPearsonFreeland: Not only will we be reaching further towards the moon and sending out huge Luna power doses of good karma and thanks to all of our members, we'll also be able to offer Mike swag, moonshot, swag, to all of our members, which is something I must admit.
I'm pretty darn excited by . I think
MikeParsons: it only needs another 25 people, which technically mark. If we do the math, it, we will reach 50 people out of 50,000 listeners. I'm not sure that's the best conversion rate on the planet, but what I'm trying to get to is we should be able to get 50 [00:18:00] members,
MarkPearsonFreeland: I think we should be able to get our members because we know that all of our listeners are trying and working on themselves day by day, week by week, year by year, learning out loud with us. And even if you are just listening to the show, you're still taking part in myself and Mike digging into these areas, these books, these topics with all our moonshot, entrepreneurs, authors, and superstars.
So you really are part of the moonshot family. So simply, almost donating us a cup of coffee every month is enough to continue keeping the moonshot ship, launching Skyward ever further. And look if we're own moonshots t-shirts by the time we reach 50 even better.
MikeParsons: Don't forget though, not only will we unlock the merchandise and the swag for for our members.
There's something else that you actually get if you are a member,
MarkPearsonFreeland: to compliment our weekly moonshot show, which [00:19:00] is free on apple podcast, Spotify and your podcasting app of choice. For those members who join us as part of the moonshots family, you also get access to our exclusive and comprehensive master series.
And Mike we've already covered. I think it must be about nine or 10 master classes by now we've gone into motivation, first principles, collaboration and teamwork habits, circle of influence the art communication entrepreneurship and finding your purpose. And we're just about to launch our second order thinking as well.
So Mike I'm already starting to need a deep breath just to say out loud, the master series that only our members can go and access. And these are 90 minute to deep dives into very specific topics. Aren't they.
MikeParsons: They are. So whether you are looking for getting into our merch, so we've got t-shirts hoodies posters, coffee mugs, you name it, or whether you want to unlock [00:20:00] the highest level of performance.
If you want to get into our master series, whatever it works for, you go over to moonshots, do AO, click on the button, be part of this. We're so grateful for the support and we hope we give you something back in. So mark, now that we've set this platform, I think we might be ready to take a leap. What do you think?
MarkPearsonFreeland: Yeah. Talking about giving something back, we're gonna now get into the idea of mindset with Jensen shero. First of all, we heard from Jen helping us determine that if we want to change our lives for the better, we need to stop wanting to do it and deciding to do it. And the first step of actually decide, or the next step after deciding to do it is really to get the confidence to go out and stop making excuses for putting things off.
So the next step we've got is from Jensen, shero and ni Michael NEMA from network marketing, helping us understand that now is the perfect time to take the leap.
Michael Neimand: What are some of the things that they can think about [00:21:00]
Successfulbydesign: in order to be successful with that?
JenSincero: I think the very experience of being alive is uncomfortable.
We're on a ball in space right now, by the way, so it's that's uncomfortable Uhhuh and waiting until you're. Perfect or, you know exactly what you're doing or you feel confident. It's, you can't wait for that stuff. You have to go and do it anyway. So I think a really important thing to realize is just go and do it.
Don't wait until, and I feel this way about money too. A lot of times we wait until we have the money before we do a, B or C, you've gotta take that leap. This is a whole leap and the net will appear and it applies to money. It applies to confidence. It applies to being comfortable.
Just start doing it anyway with the understanding that you're probably gonna be uncomfortable a lot. Yeah. And all the time. And don't make it a big drama and don't attach yourself to, I am a shy, I am not good at this. Whatever's going through your head. Might still be there, but go and do it anyway.[00:22:00]
So you
Michael Neimand: say we just gotta go for it. But sometimes that's easier to say than to actually do you know I know that I'm one that I overthink things. My head just says, I wanna do this. And then I say, thinking about if I do that, then this, how do you get
JenSincero: past that? What you focus son, you create more of.
Believe me. I am not perfect. I have lots of times when I don't do what I should be doing and I slack off and get scared and do all that kind of stuff. But it's about not making that. I think what happens is we make these big dramas out of things like that becomes the reality. And we focus on that.
Like I'm being so lazy right now. I should do that. I can't because a, B and C it's about catching yourself in those moments. And this is why we say awareness is the key to freedom, right? You become aware of the fact that these are nothing but your thoughts, right? This is not reality. This is just where your thoughts are leading you and stepping back and becoming aware of that's where you're going.
And then choosing Toho from that and being like, okay, I can make another choice right now. [00:23:00] Okay. So there are 8,000 very plausible reasons not to do all the things that will help you. , but there's also 8,000 reasons to do it. So just shifting that focus and it really starts with the awareness.
MikeParsons: Starts with awareness. I think just knowing that we have the habit mark of talking ourselves out of things that we should try, I think that's one part of it. But I think the other thing is that's very powerful is so what if I have a go, I fail. So what and what Jen sin is freeing us from is the fear of that public failure.
Just get over yourself. One of the great thoughts that I entertain is. What we need to realize is people just really don't care about us that much. And what I mean by that is everybody's so preoccupied with themselves. Even if you were to fail, most people are like, oh, okay, whatever. And then they're back [00:24:00] into their own universe.
So we, we think that the whole world is examining what's mark gonna do what's Mike gonna do, are they gonna fail? Oh, they found that's gonna be so very bad. But the truth is, people are not nearly that interested in this,
MarkPearsonFreeland: are they? Oh my God. I, it you're so right in bringing that up, actually, it's something that particularly paralyzed me and that I'm not even exaggerating that it stops you in your tracks when you're trying to make a decision, particularly in my earlier life in career, where I'd be terrified of making the wrong decision and I'll think, oh my God, if I do this, that's it that's over.
Everybody else will grind to a halt. The business I'm working with. It'll fail. The world will just stop. Then the truth is. Maybe it'll only be an issue for something as short as maybe half an hour. It's it? Everything is only temporary. And like you say, at the end of the day, people have their own issues both externally and internally, as [00:25:00] much as I do.
So rather than allow my insecurity, my lack of confidence, my uncertainty to derail the opportunity to go out and try something new, to go and build a new product, to go work with a team rather than thinking, oh my goodness. If I do this it's a disaster and Jensen, chair's gonna find out that I didn't take the right lessons from her book.
As your fail as an author, you exacerbate these things in your mind, don't you and they almost snowball. And the truth is just give it a go get out of your head. Choose to make a choice as Jen was saying there, because, and I love this little quote from that clip. Thoughts are not reality.
MikeParsons: Instead of imagin isn't that situation. Yeah. Isn't that crazy.
MarkPearsonFreeland: And how often are you put off from doing something just by a little quiet thought in your head?
MikeParsons: Yeah. I truly believe that we are such a victim of all of this self-doubt we are a victim [00:26:00] of thinking the world is looking at us, but once we realize the stakes ha are you going to be alive?
Number one. Yes. Are you still able to breathe? Yes. Once you actually do that exercise, you're like actually the risk isn't that bad. And then what you can do at you can this habit of like, when, in doubt do it, because usually we find ourselves when in doubt we put it off. If you just find yourself in a moment of self doubt, you just say stuff, it I'm gonna do it anyway.
Even though I'm feeling this. Stuff it I'm doing it. I think that is really interesting as a means of unblocking as a means of just going forward, because so much of the victory comes from not stopping Paul Graham, who we've had who have [00:27:00] studied on the show. He talks about. Survival for startups is success.
And what he is really saying is you can have all these grand dreams of success and whatnot, but actually just keep on going. That's actually part of this success, Michael Jordan train every single day, train harder than everybody else. Just keep going. I think we're like dear in the headlights, we can find ourselves being paralyzed.
And I think when you sense that happening, the thing that Jen is really encouraging us to do, take the loop, go no more excuses, no more self doubt. And so I think what we can do is when we find our cells. Experiencing doubt, making excuses develop the habit of, okay, that's a signal to move. For example, one of the things I have mark is whenever I'm feeling sluggish in my work, get up and move.
It's just my thing. If [00:28:00] I'm still not energized, go for a walk. These are just things that when you're not, when you're feeling a bit sluggish, actually Ugh, going for a walk, but it isn't amazing. Go for a walk just 15 minutes, 20 minutes, like transformational effect. If you can build these responses when you know oh the best version of the worst version of myself is taking over trigger a habit or a behavior that reintroduces the best version of yourself.
What do you think? Yeah. AB
MarkPearsonFreeland: absolutely. If you start to inject a little bit of, let's call it, exercise, just movement into your into a combination of work or brain power. Into a physical element. It makes such a difference. Doesn't it just gets you moving, gets your blood pumping, and also allows you to just breathe that little bit better.
What was really stands out to me as a reminder for some of the work that we've dug into on the moonshot show before I'm remembering Robert Green, the 48 LA laws of power, as well as our more recent [00:29:00] mindset series is that you are gonna be uncomfortable in most situations anyway, in action is bred from a fear of being uncomfortable. The truth is you might be uncomfortable now. You'll probably be uncomfortable in the next decision that you make. So actually rather than constantly putting something off just embrace the fact that there'll be uncertainty throughout life.
You'll you might not be comfortable the whole time. And instead look to almost embrace the moment of new discovery and seek out opportunities to, try and almost become that little bit uncomfortable. I'm thinking back to the resilience series and the grit series that we've done as well as means to try and grow in your mindset as well as your
MikeParsons: behavior.
Yeah, because this interesting, isn't it, there's a huge moonshot theme around this resilience. And by proxy of that, it's almost when you are feeling uncomfortable and you're experiencing some self doubt, actually, that's a really good sign that you are [00:30:00] considering. Doing something ambitious, something new and challenging.
And if you can take control of your thoughts and say, whenever I'm feeling like that, I can go, Woohoo, this is great because it's a signal that I'm stretching myself. If every single workout was safely within my capacity, then I'm not really extending my physical fitness. I'm just cruising. Right?
However, if I try to run for a longer distance than I've run or a, or at a faster rate that is growing me, just like in life, getting comfortable with discomfort, knowing that you're going to be upsetting. Some people that some people won't agree with what you're doing. That's okay. That's it's like Jeff Bezo says, if you're not pissing people off, then you're not trying hard enough.
Because you've gotta be doing things that disrupt the status quo, so you can actually start [00:31:00] to go. This is really good. I'm really challenging myself. I'm feeling uncomfortable and that's okay. I think that's a great build on Jen's work on you are a badass. What do you think, mark? Yep.
MarkPearsonFreeland: You are a badass also connects, I think a lot with Michael mark.
Manson's the subtle art of not giving a on show number 166. So listeners, you're hearing us reference a lot of these shows that we've covered recently, as well as in the past, in the catalog of moonshots. So if we are peaking your interest and you wanna learn more, maybe a little bit about confidence or really understanding the idea of not giving a head on over to moonshots.io, where you can find all of our shows, our trans, our upcoming shows and all sorts of goodies,
MikeParsons: right?
Mike. There is a ton. There is an absolute ton there. And if you are enjoying this show and if you are enjoying some of that back catalog that mark just discussed. I think there's one thing that we'd [00:32:00] love you to do right now, as you listen to us. And as you're getting all of these tips from the book, you are a badass as you are like working out how to do it for yourself.
And we've got plenty more of that to come in. This show. What I want you to do is just open up Spotify or apple podcasts or outcast, whatever your podcasting app of choices and give us a thumbs up, give us a liking, give us a review because this is how plenty of other people can learn out loud together with us and mark.
It makes a huge difference. Doesn't it? It makes
MarkPearsonFreeland: a huge difference. So not only do we love all of our pat members joining us as part of the Moonshot's family, getting access to the master series, but by sharing it and particularly by rating or reviewing the show, that's how we get into all four corners of the globe.
And really the mission that we are trying to do is just unlock the secrets of these entrepreneurs, these authors, these superstars on the moonshot show [00:33:00] and with your help listeners, we can try and help other people around the world. Also learn out loud with us. So please pop on over to your podcast app of choice, leaving us a rating, a review, because it really does make a huge difference.
MikeParsons: It certainly does. So now, mark, we're gonna get into the serious end of this show because we are gonna try and crack some of these big habits to get out in a badassery, out into the world and to kick some ass. Where do you wanna start?
MarkPearsonFreeland: We've understood. Now this differentiation between wanting and making the decision to go out and change your life.
And now Jen's really set us up for making a confidence step in our mindset with taking the leap, you and I, and our listeners. We're ready to get some badass tips. so we are gonna hear now this next few clips that we're gonna hear about our really orientate around behavior and methods to go out and be that badass version of yourself.
So we've got a great clip here from successful bud design, who orientates [00:34:00] the next clip around. One of Jen's big lessons within you are a badass her book, and it's all about source energy and specifically what success for butter dying is gonna help you. And I do is tap into the mother load.
Successfulbydesign: The mother Lord of what you might be asking.
Some call it God, some call it the universe or mother earth. You might call it faith, serendipity or, and Betsy. The name doesn't really matter. It's that abundant, invisible energy that is everywhere around you. The author calls it the source energy. And before you shut down the video for becoming way to new age, let's dig into the more practical side source energy is nothing more than mindfulness, really being able to become aware of your subconscious mind, control your attention and thoughts, and generally put your mind at ease.
How do you do that? It all starts with meditation. If you're the experience, you know exactly what to do. If you've never tried it before, [00:35:00] start by sitting up straight in a comfortable position, close your eyes, release any thoughts that come into your brain and focus on your breathing. The goal is to keep your mind as clear as possible.
So you can connect to that source energy. Another tactic that the author suggests is to become in charge of your own thoughts, your thoughts dictate your reality after all. So keep them directed towards your goal instead of towards the obstacles and for that extra credit and source energy. 1 0 1, try this three tactics.
Number one, get in touch with your younger self, the long forgotten person who feared nothing and had big goals and dreams. Number two form. A habit of gratitude and forgiveness. When you're holding onto some sort of resentment toward somebody else, you're not concentrating on yourself. So let that negativity melt away and concentrate on gratitude instead, even try and listing 10 things, to be thankful for every single day.[00:36:00]
Inact number three, giving and receiving. If you want to attract good energy, you must send good energy first. So pick up a good cause or two and donate your time or money towards leave a dollar more than what you normally tip. Smile. Compliment people make them laugh. In other words,
MikeParsons: pay it forward.
Good karma. Doesn't outta really what you call it. It really starts with clear mind and clear thoughts and just gathering yourself and. Giving I say giving before receiving, it's really interesting that we talk about you being the best version of yourself and how that starts with actually clearing your mind and then giving away your positive energy, your good energy before you actually receive it back.
We're intersecting here between like popular philosophy and religion here, but it's super practical. [00:37:00] This has so much resonance with so many of the authors that we've studied. Doesn't it? Mark?
MarkPearsonFreeland: It's funny actually, to build on what you were just saying, how a book that's fundamentally around action.
Ownership control confidence does now start to gravitate towards this idea of mindfulness being a master of your own thoughts, understanding where you are gravitating towards with regards to gratitude or perhaps lack of gratitude. Which I think is probably something that a lot of us struggle with as well as this giving and receiving that you were just mentioning.
It's funny. When you think about being a badass, you assume it's all about being confident. It's about going out and not taking no for an answer, but much like wo Robert Green's book, the 48 laws of power again. And I find that my mindset around being a badass is changing here. It's not necessarily about being the most confident person in the room or the loudest person in the room.[00:38:00]
Instead. It's about being perhaps the most collected person in the room. The person, as you've just said, who has the clearest mind and the clearest thoughts, because once you achieve clarity, then you can start to understand, is this my purpose? Am I doing the right thing in my life. And what I think is then bred from those concepts is a feeling of being happier or more confident in what it is that you're going out and doing in your life.
What
MikeParsons: do you think of that, Mike? Listen I think where we are going to it, it takes me back to Ryan holiday. Stillness is the key Eckhart tolle the power of now. Like you have to bring yourself into yourself and just be still. And if you want to unleash your energy, what's quite interesting is all this energy and action must start with stillness.
Calmness and peace. And I [00:39:00] think that's been one of the biggest aha moments for me throughout my career is I was just 100% energy. And that got me so far, but what's super interesting is over the last decade, the gradual dawning of this idea of how in order to go fast, I must go slow. Do you experience that
MarkPearsonFreeland: mark?
I do know exactly what you mean, actually, when I take a moment of my day. So as I'm sure a lot of us do, we all run a, a thousand miles per hour, we'll get up. The thing that we learn about on the show is not to check your phone straight away. Like we are hearing with Robin Sharma last week, it's all around or a couple of weeks ago, it's all around having a good habit when you get up movement hydration learning something new, doing some work.
And if you aren't able [00:40:00] to do that. And instead you launch straight into your phone, your emails, your notifications, little noise, suddenly you feel a little, or at least I do feel a little bit more maybe anxious or overwhelmed. And sometimes when you take a moment to journal, to just sit peacefully, maybe we, and I know Mike, you do this as well.
You go for a run or a walk without music and you left your thoughts that. Is actually so much more beneficial because I've personally find if I'm really obsessed over making a decision. I'll go for a walk without any distractions, without anybody with me, no music, no phone calls. And actually as I walk and I exercise and I get that blood pumping similar to what you were saying earlier, when you're feeling a bit lethargic with work it refreshes you and you start to make better decisions because you've got that clearer mind.
And I, it
MikeParsons: to it, it totally spot on. And I [00:41:00] think that's like such a great practice that Jen is encouraging us to do is clear mind, clear thoughts. It's Robert Sharma 5:00 AM. What does he start with? He starts with
MarkPearsonFreeland: stillness. Doesn't he? Exactly stillness reflection. Because as in fact, Robin Sharma said, and I love this your brain has essentially had a bath while you've been while you've been sleeping.
So it's in it's most supple state,
MikeParsons: absolutely true. And it's really important because as Jen would say, we tell ourselves a whole lot of BS and self doubt as we go on the journey to be the best version of ourselves. So we've got successful by design again here, telling us how to just get
Successfulbydesign: over it and much like the rest of the book.
This step is about letting go of your old stories. Stop focusing on a negative, the self-limiting stories that might be framing your reality and realize that you can create any reality that you want in the same fashion. Stop procrastinated. You know what you need to do. So go ahead and do it.[00:42:00]
Procrastination is nothing more than an easy form of self sabotage. Instead of putting a ton of energy into coming up with excuses of why something cannot be done, put that energy into doing it. Instead next, let go of the common overall excuses such as there is not enough time, there's too much to do, or I'm exhausted control your time and energy better.
And you find that those are just neat excuses that somehow you came up with somewhere along the way, finally get rid of the fear of moving forward and getting outside of your comfort zone. If necessary, look at the past, mostly everything that you are afraid might happen, never actually happened or try different perspectives, pinpoint what you're really afraid of and then flip it around and make it work
MikeParsons: for you.
MarkPearsonFreeland: I think that's a big takeaway there, Mike, about how to be a badass is to remove that fear. And I think one of the topics that you and [00:43:00] I we've spoken a lot about on the show is practices to try and almost get yourself to the point of knowing you've made the right decision. About a certain business or whatever, it might be through a number of different frameworks.
And recently, obviously we did a master series on second order thinking, and I think that was a really helpful demonstration of working out where you are now, maybe where you wanna be and how you're gonna get there and anticipating any of the as potential challenges or struggles that you might encounter, whether they are internal as Jim would say, whether they're your internal self getting in the way of being a badass or external.
I think that's one particular way that stands out to me when I hear that clip that helps me get over my fear of making the wrong decision.
MikeParsons: Yeah. I'm like I'm pretty simple minded about it in that I try to maybe it's because I'm a parent, like whenever I see bad behavior in myself, I try and say, [00:44:00] look.
You are thinking negatively or you're doubting yourself. Stop that right now. yeah, like just think positive. And I just tried to I truly believe what we discovered in think and grow rich by Napoleon hill, which is a predecesor to the work of gin and many others. He clearly identified that success was rooted in the way you unlock this burning desire to fulfill your potential.
And what I try to do mark is whenever I notice a bad habit creeping in is I demand of myself to stop that. And to think positive, to think, to believe in myself, to move forward and not to be caught, like there is nothing good to be had of self-doubt. And what's really interesting about worry.
And we've seen that [00:45:00] in a number of the authors that we've covered previously, for example, Dale can NE's book on how to stop wearing and to enjoy life. That book is a must read for people. So just check out our show notes at moonshots.io, just hit the search and look up Dale Carnegie. And you'll be you'll be delighted in his book, how to stop wearing.
But the point here is that we often devote all this energy to worrying end doubting things that have not happened, outcomes that. We worry about failure that has yet to transpire. And what I would say is imagine, so what if it, you fail? Is it really that bad and just get over it? Because I think we build up these barriers into massive walls that simply are not that think about times in life, where we've actually been worried about something and then we gave it a go and went, huh?
That wasn't so bad. [00:46:00]
MarkPearsonFreeland: it? It's amazing. Isn't it? How regular that, that
MikeParsons: can happen. Yeah. It's really not that hard. And so I, I suggest attack any self doubt attack, any problem, get to the bottom of it, embrace a discomfort and move the hell through it. But for me, it's, it is when you notice these loops of thought doubt or negativity in your brain, I just try and Short wire that and go flip into positive, flip into self belief and almost reprimand myself and saying you will not be negative.
You will not doubt. And if you go, and if you look at where this plays out on the sports field is we know that with all elite at athletes in the end, they're all physically pretty close, but it's their mindset. Their self belief, their resilience, Serena Williams says true champions are judged by how they get up after a fall.
And to me, this is all feeding [00:47:00] into badass thinking from Jen sin. Chado
MarkPearsonFreeland: it really does come down to changing that BA behavior and mindset that we all have around self doubt and fear. Doesn't it also reminds me Mike of a recent episode. We did again in the mindset series, Daniel H pink, the power of regret.
Oh yeah. And I think that speaks to exactly the reference you made to Serena Williams there instead of Redding and avoiding regret, instead of avoiding failure by maybe talking yourself out of taking a new opportunity chance, maybe even just asking for help. There's been times in my career, like where I'm afraid to ask for help, not from any.
Issues from my colleagues or family members, but a kind of innate sense of almost maybe pride or something that's stopping me internally. And the truth is once you get over that you, you do look back and you think, wow, I'm a bit embarrassed that I [00:48:00] didn't ask for help there. Or maybe I regret doing
MikeParsons: the problem was in them.
It was, you. It was
MarkPearsonFreeland: me exactly. And what I found really interesting when we were digging into Danny H pink in the power of regret is reframing the idea of regret and seeing it as a positive opportunity and where I'm getting from Jensen CHRO here is again, being a badass. You can unlock it if you change your mindset or your consideration of making things exactly actively and making an active choice in
MikeParsons: life.
Because as we see from so many of the great superstars you are what you think, and you do have complete control of your thoughts. Do not think for a moment that little voice of doubt is unchangeable or irre removable. It is totally within your control to stop that. And I think. It would be unfair to tell everybody, Hey, it's no problem.
It's easy. [00:49:00] All right. We've all got some degree of the monkey mind. Cause we're so stimulated, right? But in the end of the day, we do have this choice. It's hard. It takes resilience and courage and discipline. Just if you are on a diet and you avoid going to the snack cupboard if self doubt and fear and anger are all, are they are the cookie jars of confectionary taking us off course.
What do we do? What's the classic thing you do. You remove that food from the pantry. You replace it with good food and you control your portion sizes, right? It's the same with how you think remove the negative thoughts and replace it with calmness. Replace it with positive affirmations. With clarity, with breath work.
These are all your choices to overcome. Dare out. Fear and all [00:50:00] those things that are between us and realizing our potential. And if that has not sold you mark, and all of our listeners let's have a listen to Jen. Sinero talking with Michael Neman for the last time and really getting on the other side of what have you got to lose because you know what this appointment.
Is only very short along that path.
Michael Neimand: They just do it. Yeah. Is
MikeParsons: it okay to
JenSincero: make some mistakes? No, you have to be perfect. Not, oh man.
Michael Neimand: But I think that's what people worry about. People worry about I, I have to take this step what if it's the wrong step,
JenSincero: then it will let you know that it's the wrong step so that then you will know what the right step looks like.
Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes,
Michael Neimand: again, it's it's amazing because it's just I don't know. I always think back to I don't know, elementary school or middle school or the first time you're gonna ask a girl for me, ask a girl out. It's you just think that the result, whatever the result is, it's going to be
MikeParsons: crushing.
I know. [00:51:00] And
Michael Neimand: And based on personal experience, it is no, but,
MarkPearsonFreeland: but no the reality is
Michael Neimand: that, that
JenSincero: crushing, this lasts about 30 seconds. And then you go on and we will not let ourselves do things that we would love to do, because we don't wanna experience that 30 seconds. Don't let risk that at 30 seconds.
Yeah.
Michael Neimand: And it's there's lots of, slogans when you're in this industry, you have all these like kind of buzz words and people that say go for no and, try to find as many nos as you want. But I think the real answer is just keep taking
JenSincero: steps forward, keep taking steps forward and do you know, do exactly what you just did get specific about your fears.
This is the awareness thing again. So what are, oh, so let's say sales, like I'm scared of being pushy. This is a huge one in sales, right? Okay. So let's say worst case scenario. You're totally pushy. The person you're trying to sell things through the most. Sell irritant on earth and what they don't buy from you.
Then what you go out and get another customer , but you will never have gotten that next customer if you hadn't taken the [00:52:00] first step through the scary part. So I think again, specifics are the keys to freedom,
MarkPearsonFreeland: step through the discomfort to get to that next opportunity, that next corner, that next situation.
Mike, that's a pretty big call out here within you are a badass by Jensen shero, and it's a reminder that you don't have to be perfect and get a slam dunk every single time
MikeParsons: do you, but that analogy of the at 30 seconds of disappointment stopping you from what could have been 30 minutes, 30 days or a lifetime.
Yeah, of goodness. It was that 30 seconds of disappointment. Meant that you didn't even try because of your fear. And self-doubt like, think how many times I made the point earlier think of how many great things have never happened because of people experiencing self-doubt. Absolutely. And it's just 30 seconds.
Like really it's just 30 seconds,
MarkPearsonFreeland: 30 seconds. And like you say, seconds versus 30 years,[00:53:00] , it is amazing. And that's, it's a really true point though. You do, you, I think we're all a lot more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. It's quite easy to forget that we are able to bounce back from moments when we fall over.
And instead of taking that risk, giving it a go, maybe getting egg on your face, as they say, or feeling a bit embarrassed or falling down or whatever, it might be, whatever you wanna, whatever terminology you. Just giving it that go getting out there could be something that's far more positive in the long run and whether you win it or don't.
Having the opportunity to just grow from it. Oh my goodness. It's this growth mindset. That's so consistent within all of our shows within this habit series.
MikeParsons: Yep. And so say you got disappointed for 30 seconds, whether you can also ask yourself okay, next time I ask or next time I put my foot forward, how will I do it a bit better?
Yes. And the, then it won't be so tough the next time around. And then [00:54:00] before you know it, you are, was swimming and badassery. now mark, we have covered a lot of ground. It was amazing how much you are a badass intersects with other books. I don't remember a book recently having that many interconnections with other superstars books and framework.
It's been crazy.
MarkPearsonFreeland: It's been. Absolutely connected with stoicism with habits, of course, but also finding ideas of grit and resilience and giving it a go. We even had references to Elizabeth Gilbert who was in creativity. So we've really found a kind of underpinning idea within this. Isn't it?
Maybe every moon shotter, maybe we should rebrand ourselves, Mike to the badass
MikeParsons: podcast. Whether we're badass or going to the moon, there was a lot in this, but with such a wide selection of inspiration and habit formation, it was there one that got you.
MarkPearsonFreeland: I think it's not only [00:55:00] the proactive moment where you decide to change your life.
I think that's the biggest penny drop moment within the book. You are a badass, but actually the thing that speaks to me a lot is finding clarity from calmness. I think that's the big, that's the big lesson here. Take a moment. Walk around the block. No distractions. You might do your best thinking.
What's really standing out to you, Mike, as you think about becoming a badass today.
MikeParsons: I think if I'm going to work on some bad assery habit design, I do agree clear mind, clear thoughts. That's the source of the mother load. But I think a close contender is, look, it's just 30 seconds of disappointment.
Like what on earth are you ? Why are you laying it? That, that just is profound for me. That, that we enable. This huge wall of inaction for through this fear. And it's a, we've made a a mountain out of a mole hill. So much in this so much in this well, mark, listen, thank you so much[00:56:00] for joining me on this journey, into unlocking the bad us side of us or realizing our full potential and thank you to you, our listeners and our members here on show 174, where we went into the book.
You are a badass by author, Jen sin JRO and it really started with the fundamental decision to change your life for the better, to be the best version of yourself. And there is no time better than the now we should not wait, no more excuses, take the leap. This is what Jen encouraged us to do. And along the way, it is all about.
Finding keepings and sustaining that energy, that mother load, and it begins with a clear mind and clear thoughts. And as you go about doing everything, you can to be the best version of yourself. Let go of all of that BS, just get over it and move forward. Because look, in the end of the day, what we learned from gen sing JRO is dis point is fleeting, but [00:57:00] excellence, satisfaction, and fulfillment can be a lifetime.
And that is all for you. Not only in this book, but here in this podcast, the moonshots podcast, where we are learning out loud together to be the very best version of ourselves. Okay. That's a wrap.