Michelle Obama: Rising Star
EPISODE 106
Join us on our Rising Star series, where we take a look at 2020, some of our biggest rising influencers starting with Michelle Obama and her daring to own your story. Her story, her inspiration, and her why.
As first lady of the United States, Michelle focused her attention on issues such as the support of military families, helping working women balance career and family and encouraging national service.
Show Outline
Journey of ‘becoming’ (buy on Amazon); never stop looking to become something; the reason behind the book name w Oprah!!!
Together is better, but no one else can make you happy
Defining me
Hold to your own moral compass
Be authentic
Dealing with adversity is your advantage
Keep moving forward
You can make it if you try
Refuse to settle
When you want to go low, it’s often your ego looking to seek revenge; there’s a bigger purpose though
When they go low, we go high
Get to know yourself, figure out who you want to be
Advice to my daughters
TRANSCRIPT
And welcome to the moonshots podcast. It's episode one Oh six. I'm your co-host, Mike Parsons. And I am certainly joined today by a rising star. Indeed. Welcome back Mark piss and Freeland. Hey, good morning, Mike and happy holidays to you. Hope you're having a very pleasant time over the December period.
Well, it is the time of the year where apart from collapsing in a total heap, I think we all like to do a little bit of, uh, reflection and, um, in terms of the moonshots podcast, it's been. Absolutely stonking year has been so wonderful to have, uh, all of you, our listeners join us in this adventure in innovation, where we learn out loud together and learn from some [00:01:00] of the best.
And Mark we're starting something very special. Yeah. Today really is something of the best isn't it? Because we got so we've had so many interesting, unique. Valuable innovators and entrepreneurs over the last, wow. 105 hundred and six episodes that this one's going to be exciting, unique, Mike, and today marks something that's a little bit new for us today.
Marks a brand new series that we're affectionately calling the rising star series. Um, and rising stars. I mean, if you look at some of the people in the list, they're well and truly established stars, but I think the pitch that we have here is that we've gone and collected, uh, for people who have got enormous feedback from you, our listeners, um, We've got four people who have really brought some very unique, fresh thinking.
And as we wrap up one year and start a new, I think it's very timely, the thoughts [00:02:00] that they have to share. So I'm, I'm really pumped about this rising star series and it gives us a chance to go back to some of our favorites. Doesn't it? And they really, they really are some of our favorites, you know, these, these characters and, and innovators that we're going to re, um, Resurface and, and check out again, uh, significant markers in, I think the journey that we've gone on learning out loud with our listeners and each of them not only have been really, really popular shows, but I think each of them have brought a unique lesson into our repertoire of, of entrepreneur and moonshot thinking lessons.
Right. Yep. And so we got four people who are they? And with which one shall we start? We've got four rising stars within this new series today. We're going to be going to the first lady herself, Michelle Obama and her book Becoming, next week. We're going to be getting under the ice. With the ice man, mr. Wim Hoff, we're going to be taking a good deep breath.
That feels very seasonal. [00:03:00] Actually a nice cold shower over the Christmas break. Then we are not gonna give up. We're going hard because nothing can stop him. It's mr. David Goggins. And then finally, we're going to settle back down and revisit our habit. Forming legend himself, mr. James clear. I mean, what a series ahead of us, Mike.
Yeah, what a, what a package. And now let's focus on Michelle before we, uh, play to you. The Michelle Obama show for me, I want to. Propose both to you Mark, and to all of our listeners, you know, Michelle is a super accomplished woman. She's overcome so many challenges. I mean, just think at the pressure of being the first lady.
Oh my gosh. Eight years. I mean, I'd want to retire after that, but no, she has, she has gone on to bigger and better stuff. Um, now what I loved about the challenge that we took out of her show, Is, I think she brought this central idea [00:04:00] of owning our story and we really loved that idea. Didn't we, Matt, it was really, really honest, I guess, is the real word, honest and human and, and pretty transparent.
You know, you've got this idea of. The Obama's living a sort of separate life to all of us there in the front, in front of a lens the whole time, but actually the show, as well as her book (purchase on Amazon), really revealed to us how tragic and being open with those around you. But more importantly, yourself. Is the real trick towards, you know, accepting the bad stuff as well as the good.
Yeah. And, and I love this idea of, um, own the good, the bad, the ugly of your own story, because in the end, that's who you are and don't try and. Pretend everything's perfect. And I think the carriage, she had to admit that her and Barack had, um, some marriage counseling. She [00:05:00] had even troubles with her pregnancy.
I think everybody was inspired by her openness and frankness to own her story and her encouragement to all of us to own our story. So what a perfect way to set yourself in life by confronting the good and the bad, the ugly, the indifferent about everything that we are and have been, because I think in that lays the fortitude.
And the power of being the very best version of yourself in the future. So it was really good. It wasn't it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. What you're right. The counseling revealing, there were so many little, um, honest things. It was kind of like listening to one of your close friends, just having a cup of tea, but you almost forget that Michelle Obama was an accomplished lawyer, as well as the first lady of the United States.
Yes. Yeah. Mark, where shall we start? I suggest we start with [00:06:00] taking a listen to Michelle and none other than Oprah, herself, where they can tell us a little bit about Michelle's book becoming 2019 your year or what it was crazy. It was unexpected. Yes, it was a good year. That's because Michelle Obama's book becoming, I know everybody in here, it hasn't,
it, it w it wasn't just the best-selling memoir book of the year. It's the best selling memoir of all time.
And what that says to me, I think it's like now 11 points. 7 million, probably 12 since we've been sitting here a million, when it says to me is that it's such an extraordinary time to be a strong, confident assured and above all else. Well, a woman in the world. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, so many people [00:07:00] saw themselves in my story.
Um, it's also a time for owning our story. And I think that's part of what resonated with people. I mean, a lot of people came up and said, well, you were so vulnerable. You, was it hard for you to tell your story, to tell your truth? There were things you covered that were difficult, like trouble in your marriage, in trouble.
Having getting pregnant was that hard to do? Do. And my response is no, that's my story. I embrace every aspect of who I am, because as I've said, I like my story. I like all the highs and lows and the bumps in between. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, you know, what we learned from that as people are, they are, they gravitate to other people's vulnerabilities.
They, we gravitate to one another when we see the best and the worst in ourselves, because it makes us feel human, you know? And I think people connected to the humanness of this. Hmm. The humanness [00:08:00] look, Mark. What I really appreciated about this is. The fact that we so often are not prepared to share hardship.
Things we perceive as being weak or unsuccessful. And how powerful is it that Michelle Obama totally opens up and shares, you know, really personal challenges she faced. And it's so, so powerful as a reminder that we should be open, not only about the good stuff. But the bad people will not think worse of you.
And in fact, they will like and respect you all the much more because the truth is we all face hardship yet. So few of us will actually, I love this idea of humanizing and opening up because there are so many times in my life and my career where I've struggled and it's very, [00:09:00] very easy to. Chrysalis to close down on yourself and think, no, I can do this.
It's okay. Society wants me to be able to stand on my own two feet and nobody will open up. Nobody reaches out. So for me, I've tried to actively talk. More to people, try to encourage them, my friends and colleagues and even family to talk about things. And for me, I think that's one of the, I suppose, first steps in getting our society in culture and families to talk to one another.
And it's to build on that. It's not just talking, it's like, Talking about the hard stuff. Like, Hey, I'm pretty stressed. Hey, they didn't go to plan. Hey, this was really hard. Maybe even. Hey, this was embarrassing. I mean, look at what Michelle was talking about. Troubles with pregnancy, with marriage and everyone thought hoe [00:10:00] and Barack were perfect.
And she's like, Nope, we got canceling. Totally true. This idea of disappointment. And like you say, , these are things that generally we try to pay down and maybe not even admit to ourselves, let us own to other people. But when we do it, Can actually be one of the greatest lessons and experiences in our lives when we do accept, Oh, that was hard.
Or that client didn't like what I did. Oh, that journey wasn't quite as rewarding. Perhaps as I thought, once we get past that, it feels so much richer. You feel as though you've pulled yourself through it and it's related a lot to this idea of. Keeping a diary and just having avenues to get those things out.
I think so much of owning your own story is releasing some of the tension that comes with challenge. Like when you can say to someone I've had a really tough week, it was just [00:11:00] pretty bloody awful. I mean, just the sheer act of sharing that is somehow. Uh, release it settles you. And I think that what we're reminded of here is to own our stories, the good, the bad and everything in between, and not to fear that disclosure, particularly with people that you trust or particularly in written form where you can really tell the story from end to end.
I think what Michelle is teaching us here is own the story, the good and the bad, and don't be scared. To share it, get it off your chest. And you'll be able to jump into the next thing. We'll a little bit of a skip and a hop. I love that. Now we've got plenty more coming from Michelle and we're about to get into the serious stuff.
When it comes to the lessons we can learn from Michelle Obama. You know, it's really interesting. You can just imagine the context for [00:12:00] her is so incredibly challenging to own her story too, who she really is when you're married to the most famous for person on the planet. And she has this very powerful mantra and idea that what is essential for you is to own your story.
So. Let's have a listen right now to Michelle Obama and one of her most powerful lessons that she has to teach. You were so open in becoming when you talked about, and there was a, they went to therapy and therapy really was an eye-opener for you and for him. Well, we all need to reflect, and it's very hard to do it in a marriage with the person you're trying to work on.
Sometimes you need an objective person to just hear you out. You know, you, you may not be right. You may just want to get it out and have him sitting there listening to you. Get it out. [00:13:00] Sometimes that helps. It's like, I don't know about yourself. I talked about this. It taught me that I am responsible for my own happiness, that I didn't marry Barrack for him to make me happy.
No one can make me happy. You know? So my disappointments were about what I thought he should be doing for me giving to me. When I hadn't really done the work to figure out what did I want and how do I go after what I want on my own? You know, if I'm going to show up equal in this partnership, I have to be able to make myself happy.
And so I had to stop focusing on what he wasn't doing and start thinking about how to carve out the life that I wanted for myself with or without Barack. And the more I did that, the more I succeeded in defining myself for myself. The better I was in my partnership. Wow. I think that clip and that admission is one of the most valuable lessons that any of [00:14:00] us can learn.
It's so easy to sit back and think about those around you and wonder are why isn't this making me happy? Why isn't my partner or colleague or best friend? Why aren't I getting what I almost. Expect to get. And it's because a lot of us are looking to those other people to raise us up, but actually it begins down in the core and the foundation in the roots a lot like Brenae Brown was teaching us.
You've got to get through that struggle. That struggle is you. You are unique only when you stop comparing yourself to others. Can you go your own way and find your own happiness? I love the way in which there's a big lesson in this is that your happiness is something that not only are you responsible for, but you control.
And I think as humans and I do this, I will mint is I blame [00:15:00] others, right. And really in the end of the day, how I respond to my environment and my situation, how I choose to think. And the key word here is choose. That is totally 100% my responsibility. I might not control everything around me, but I certainly control how I respond and I shouldn't be waiting depending upon others to make me happy or said differently.
I shouldn't blame others when I'm not happy. I should take it on the chin and to riff from the first clip. I should own my story and make sure that I know that my happiness. Is upon me now, when I think about my happiness Mark, the first thing that I do is I know that I have to sleep well, eat well and exercise.
Like if I am going to be the best version of myself, I need these as daily rituals in order to feel good, to be ready, to be [00:16:00] smart, to be happy to do all of those sorts of things. My question to you ma. If you are taking full ownership of defining who you are and owning your own happiness and not depending on anyone else around you, what are some of the things that you do to get yourself started every day so that you can define yourself and own your own happiness?
I think, and I'd love to challenge all the listeners to this as well. It starts by finding those things you can control. And actioning them as soon as you get up. And as soon as you are aware during the day that your relying, perhaps on too many external factors to bring it back to you. Okay, what is it that I can control your examples, Mike?
I think they're great. Exercise eat well and sleep well. You can control those. I think a lot of us nowadays, you find independence and ownership through the way you walk to work. The way you travel in the way you [00:17:00] dress, the way that your routine in the mornings follows. You know, maybe some people listen to is like myself.
Practice, some mindfulness breathing techniques, things that, you know, I'm the only one who can control this right now, this, our strive, a train driver, a person walking down the street. They're not going to control my breathing is something that I do. And that for me is a really great way at grounding and feeling that ownership and confidence that I'm the one controlling it.
Yeah, breath is a great one. So do you have any tools or practices that you use in terms of breath? I mean, famous, it's a famous, you know, meditation, it's a famous sort of Headspace practice. Tell us a little bit more about this breath thing. Like what are your little hacks? It's a great question. And one that, you know, I've certainly.
Thought about myself before. It's very easy to become intimidated with very successful apps like Headspace or Wim Hoff. There is an adversity, I think, [00:18:00] inside ourselves when we think, Oh, I'm practicing meditation or yoga, what have other people think of me remove all of that. Remember, it's all about you.
You don't even need to have your application running. You don't need to be in a stressful meeting thinking. I wish I could step out and listen to something. You do it yourself. So do a daily, I mean, tell us what you actually do. Oh, I do it several times a day. It's just breathing in. Right. Let me take a moment.
Oh, I've received a rough email or a phone call or this meetings a little bit tough. Maybe I should just take a breath. I can anchor myself in that deep breath. Do you just do one or two or what are we talking about? I'd say, aye. You will notice the difference even after just one, one deep breath, one cleansing breath.
We'll just help you, like I say, anchor and foundation level yourself down again, and think, Oh yes, hang on. I am really [00:19:00] here. I can control this situation. Maybe I'll carry three, four, maybe a five, a five breath is, is pretty good, pretty standard, but I'd say you actually feel the difference even after just one, which I think is a fantastic lesson.
They are very cool. Breathing techniques with my kids and Freeland. I'll tell you what. I have this funny little hack, which is every time I walk through a doorway, I take a break. I don't know how I don't like big breath. Interesting. So it's not a fear of what might be on the other side. It's the ownership.
I'm about to walk through this door, wherever it is. Right. I'm getting ready myself and I can tackle whatever the challenge might be on the other side. I think that's great. That's really cool. Okay, so just what do we got so far from Michelle Obama owning our story, the good and the bad taking ownership for our own happiness, but it doesn't stop there.
And if you're loving this for all of our audience, [00:20:00] jump over to moonshot.io, check us out. You can get the show notes from this show, you can get a complete backlog of all the other 68 shows. There's lots of goodies there, but we've still got a ton of lessons from Michelle Obama. And now we're getting into some of the, uh, hand-to-hand combat of day daily life.
And Michelle has got a lot to teach us about. You know, having a moral compass, guiding through the ups and downs, and you can only imagine what sort of moral dilemmas come to the first family and some of the challenges they face. So let's have a listen now to Michelle Obama talking about authenticity.
Next I've always felt a deep sense of obligation to make the biggest impact possible with this incredible platform. So I took on issues that were personal to me. Issues like helping families raise healthier kids, honoring the incredible [00:21:00] military families that I've met out on the campaign trail, inspiring our young people to value their education and finish college.
Now, some folks criticize my choices for not being bold enough, but these were my choices. My issues. And I decided to tackle them in a way that felt most authentic to me in a way that was both substantive and strategic, but also fun and hopefully inspiring. So I immersed myself in the policy details. I worked with Congress on legislation, gave speeches to CEOs, military generals, Hollywood executives, but I also work to ensure that my efforts would resonate with kids and families.
And that meant doing things in a creative and unconventional way. So, yeah, I planted a garden and hula hooped on the white house lawn with kids. I did some mom dancing on TV. I celebrated military kids with Kermit the frog. I asked folks across the country to [00:22:00] wear their Alma maters t-shirts for college signing day.
And at the end of the day, by staying true to the me, I've always known. I've found that this journey has been incredibly freeing because no matter what happened, I had the peace of mind of knowing that all of the chatter, the name calling the doubting, all of it was just noise. It did not define me. It didn't change who I was.
And most importantly, it couldn't hold me back. I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values and follow my own moral compass. Then the only expectations I need to leave live up to are my own. I love that speech. It is so powerful. This idea of staying true to yourself and being authentic, no matter what you're doing, no matter if you're the first lady it's going to [00:23:00] be hard to stay out of the spotlight.
Of course, she stayed true to her roots. And I think this really. Reminds us improves to us why she was so popular and she still is because she's real. He knows our pains, our lives she's on the white house lawn, hula hooping, hanging out with Sesame street. She's a person like you and I, and even though she was the first lady and now the best selling memoir author of all time, she's still like how she's worked.
She's suffered. She's overcome many anxieties. It's fantastic. It's so empowering to hear it. It is. And I think it's the lesson she's teaching us here is like stay focused on the things that matter to you, you, and if you are truly working on stuff that matters to you, then it will give you the strength not to allow the naysayers or the obstacles to stop you on the path, to where you're [00:24:00] going.
And I think that. When you put this into terms of great athletes or great businesspeople, I think when they're playing a sport, That they have deep mastery in, or when someone is building a business to solve a problem that matters to them. It's this inner fortitude you get from being on a mission that is deeply authentic.
So I think the reminder to all of us is like, are we doing things that matter to us that create positive impact around the world? Because if you are what I thought there was a bit of a side lesson here is that she spoke about the naysayers and. All the troublemakers. They didn't get it down. I think those people really get you down and yeah.
Stop you when you don't really pursue your dreams. Absolutely. I think she's challenging us here. Like make sure you are following your dreams and are doing things that matter. I have a moral [00:25:00] compass about stuff that you do, and she's almost suggesting to us that you're unstoppable. If you've got that formula.
Well, what I love is. Being happy with your challenges with your, you know, issues, inverted commerce, immerse yourself in that experience and having to deal with hardships and challenges, no matter where they're coming from, they could be other people. It could be. Areas and sectors in life that you don't control such as time.
Stress is pressure that on anchored into individuals, frankly, I've got one for you. Mac, how about viruses? That it's a great lesson. You know, how can we overcome that hardship by. Coming together, is it when we open ourselves up and be authentic and when we maybe write journals or when we ask each other, how are you doing?
You know, tell me, are you stressed? What is it unlocking that human element to all of our stories. That's [00:26:00] how we can gravitate to one another and come together. And as we, as much like Simon Sinek tells us together is better. It's so true, but I mean, look, it's like we actually planned this show because the next clip we've got is all about coping with this adversity.
And as everyone is listening to this show, maybe there's been a little bit more uncertainty and challenge in the past few weeks or months. So I can't think of a more appropriate clip than listening to Michelle Obama talking about. How we can keep moving things forward. You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage.
Instead. It's important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is actually one of your biggest advantages. And I know that because I've seen it myself, not just as a student working my way through school, but years later, when I B, [00:27:00] after I came before I came to the white house and I worked as a Dean at a college.
In that role. I encountered students who had every advantage, their parents paid their full tuition. They lived in beautiful campus dorms. They had every material possession of college kid could want cars, computers, spending money. But when some of them got their first bad grade, they just fell apart. They lost it because they were ill equipped to handle their first encounter with disappointment or falling short life will put many options struggles in your path that are far worse than a bad grade.
You'll you'll have unreasonable mosses and difficult clients and patients. You'll experience illnesses and losses, crises, and setbacks that will come out of nowhere and knock you off your feet. But unlike so many other young people, you have already developed the resilience and the [00:28:00] maturity that you need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep moving through the pain.
Keep moving forward again. What an incredibly empowering, engaging, and inspiring thing to hear. You know, if I was there in the crowd, you know, I'd be somebody standing on the chair. Yes. Cheering, but I'm almost in this little booth wanting to stand on the chair and, and share too, because I'd feel connected.
When she's saying all this adversity and difficult clients or patients, whatever it might be, these are all things that we do experience. And what Michelle is reminding us here is that she's gone through that process. She's seen it. She's reminding all of us that is okay to come into challenges because you can get through them.
You can become strong. And just like Zaha Hadid, who was one of the great female architects we covered on the show earlier. What she's really [00:29:00] suggesting is that your capacity to get back up your capacity to keep on moving forward actually makes you more resilient and more stronger. So Zahara had, did said every challenge she faced as a middle Eastern woman.
Being an architect in the sixties, in the seventies, in England, as an immigrant, she overcame all of that. And that's where she attributed so much of her great creativity too, was that every challenge just made her stronger. And this is what Michelle Obama is teaching us in this clip. And I tell you what, when I'm in the darkest of moments, Mark, the one thing I always do.
Is, I always try the practice of, it's not that bad if I totally keep things going, I use this practice of I'm sure. In a [00:30:00] day or in a week or in a month, I will look back at this and say, well, that was tough, but it won't be as bad as it feels right now. So I don't allow myself to dig such a deep hole that I can't get out.
I'm always like, ah, It sucks right now, but tomorrow won't be as bad. And after that it'll get better and better and better. That's how I keep moving forward. My question for you, Mark is how do you keep it moving forward? Like what do you do when you're like, Oh, This is a problem. How do you avoid just giving up and walking away?
Well, firstly for all the listeners, I like to say it does happen. You know, there are moments and I hope all the listeners feel as though they can now accept that it happens for them as well. It happens to me for sure, where I think, Oh, I don't want to get up. I don't want to have to go into this difficult conversation or meeting or.
Whatever the environment is there might be causing me anxiety or stress. And I think for me [00:31:00] as I've got older, it's the idea that I will be stronger when I get through it. When I have stretched that muscle, when I've torn that bicep or leg muscle, when I've done something to it, that at the time my not have been that comfortable.
It might still not feel comfortable. But knowing that in one or two steps further down the line, it's going to be stronger. And when I'm running into a similar challenge in the future, I will be better equipped to deal with it. I will be more informed and stronger and more confident. That's what I think what helps me through it.
So I think for all of our listeners, as you're decoding Michelle Obama, I mean, she's reminding us to own our story. Good and bad to own our own story and not be something else to really be on admission, to do things that matter to us to keep moving forward through adversity. [00:32:00] There are timeless these lessons, and it feels like in the midst of a sort of virus stricken world and uncertainty, these are such a great antidote to some troubling times, but we've still got a couple more clips we're on the home stretch.
And Michelle has got just this infinite capacity to energize and to lift people up. And this clip is no different. This next clip. It's all about effort. Right? And staying the course. We talk about trying to do something well, Michelle has got some great advice for us, so let's have a listen to her talking about never refuse, never stop, never settle, always keep going.
We want our children and all children in this nation. To know that the only limits of the height of your achievement is the reach of your dreams and your [00:33:00] willingness to work hard for them.
And as our friendship grew, and I learned more about Barak, he introduced me to work the work that he'd done when he first moved to Chicago after college, you see, instead of going to wall street, Barak went to work in neighborhoods that had been devastated by the closing of steel plants, jobs dried up and Barack was invited back to speak to people from those neighborhoods about how to rebuild their community.
And the people gathered there together that day were ordinary folks doing the best they could to build a good life. See they were parents. Trying to get by from paycheck to paycheck, grandparents, trying to get it together on a fixed income men frustrated that they couldn't support their families after jobs that disappeared.
You see those folks weren't asking for a [00:34:00] handout or shortcut. So they were ready to work. They wanted to contribute. They believe like you. And I believe that America should be a place where you can make it. If you try
stood up that day, I spoke words that have stayed with me ever since he talked about the world as it is and the world as it should be. And he said that all too often, we accept the distance between the two and we settle for the world as it is, even when it doesn't reflect our values and aspirations, but he reminded us that we also know what the world should like, look like he said, we know what fairness and justice and opportunity look like.
And he urged us to believe in ourselves to find the strength within ourselves, to strive for the world as it should be. [00:35:00] And isn't that the great American story.
It's the story of men and women gathered in churches in union halls and high school gyms and people who stood up and marched and risked everything. They had refusing to settle determined to mold our future into the shape of it. That clip gets better and better because what I love about it is this.
Celebration of challenges and hardship. And this idea is not limited just to America, it's global, but actually more importantly, it's also very personal. It's very, very small. It's the struggles to accept difficulty in our lives and so on. How do we. Continue learning and evolving and growing and to lift from Michelle's book, we become a new version of ourselves.
And I [00:36:00] it's interesting because I think that she was going to a place that inspired me. It's not about just trying once, but to keep on trying. And I think that the big secret that I've learned is that most people actually give up at some point. So, if you refuse to settle, if you keep trying, the odds are that you will succeed because most people give up.
It's like hard work and tough work over an extended period of time. It's like so many great athletes will tell you that it was because they trained every single day rain, hail or shine. That was the difference. There were other people who were as. Talented, maybe more talented athletes than they, but they were the ones that tried every single day and never gave up.
I think this is. Such a powerful lesson in try continuously over time. And the odds are you will succeed. This is what I take from it. And it's certainly something [00:37:00] that has been a huge lesson in my life. Like just hoping for the overnight sensation is ridiculous. And what we've learned on this podcast over 69 episodes is that so many of the great people that we've studied on this show have.
Tried continuously over extended periods of time. There is no such thing as the overnight sensation. These are all life missions subscribing to many of the values that Michelle's talking about in this very podcast. I mean, it's incredible. Isn't it? Mark? It's so. Dare I say convenient
nation is so ingrained through all of the episodes that we've done on the moonshots podcast. I mean, just using another recent figurehead, we've covered it. Jim Collins is studied and went into so many. Good and great companies to analyze what made [00:38:00] them succeed. It wasn't some kind of special secret sauce.
It was always this constant discipline is constant. Innovation and striving to grow and be the best version of the business. I think, as we've already discussed with each of these innovators, you take these lessons from businesses and you can apply them in your own life. You can apply them to personal growth and development.
It's so true. And I think that what I like is this idea that. Even in the darkest moments, if you just keep going and you keep trying, and you just, even when you think I've been going at it for a year, give it another year, I've been going at it two years, give it another two years and that persistence will pay off.
Now. What's interesting though, is on that journey, you are going to face people that are not only. Let's say interested in their own things and not interested in you, but we'll actually run into people who will criticize [00:39:00] us directly. Now, obviously in Michelle Obama's case, if you're a public figure, you're going to get that.
If you think about it for a moment, it's no different. Then when you're in the office, you imagine a large organization, there's all sorts of crazy politics and people. Who've got, you know, advocates and detractors. Now we all have moments in life at work on the sports field, wherever in our families, maybe where there are detractors and we've got Michelle bringing us some really.
Really powerful advice. And this is what we need to do when those detractors come out. So let's have a listen to Michelle Obama talking about what we need to do when the detractors criticize us. You know, one of the things that you have now become famous forever for is that when they go low, We go and that ain't always easy.
It's not always easy. [00:40:00] What I wanted to ask you that in this climate where low has taken new lows, how do you maintain a high and not appear to be passive and not lose your equilibrium? Because low is gone lower. Yes. Well, because going low is easy, which is why people go to it. It's easy to go low. It's easy to lead by fear.
It's easy to be divisive. It's easy to make people feel afraid. That's the easy thing. And it's also the short-term thing. And for me, you know, what I learned from my husband, what I learned in eight years at the white house is that. This, this life, this world, our responsibility in it is so much bigger than us, right?
So what I have to keep in mind is usually when I want to go low, it's all about my own ego. You know, it's not about solving anything. It's not about fixing anything. It's about seeking revenge on the thing that happened to you. And when you, as Oprah, you talk about purpose and what it's [00:41:00] all about. And my purpose on this planet is not to just take care of my own little ego.
You know, there is a bigger purpose for me out there. So when I respond to something, I have to think about that light. I'm trying to shine. What role model am I trying to be? What, what are the words that I'm going to say? And how will it affect young people who are looking at me? That's the bigger picture that puts you in a position to think high?
Because if you're thinking about the long-term, you don't take the short term measure of getting, even with somebody right here and now today. Cause it makes you feel good in the moment. If it's not going to fix a problem, if it's not going to move the needle, then you're not going high. You're just being selfish is our responsibility to react appropriately, to challenges that we all face.
We can't turn around point fingers, or as we say, get our backs up or try to seek out revenge when we're frustrated with something. Instead, [00:42:00] this is an opportunity for us to. Rise above and be better versions of ourselves or at least a version that we may well have fallen into not only for our personal growth, but actually for those around us, whether they're our peers, colleagues, friends, as you say, family, our kids in the future.
But Mark, how do you stop yourself from. Giving into sometimes that burning feeling of, if you, like, what do you do? Someone says or does something and you're like, you're steaming. How do you go high when they've gone low? I think I try to remain aware that I've probably gone low myself. Two in the past, I tried to remind myself that the situation or all the person is only responding in a similar way that I myself would have probably [00:43:00] responded at some point.
You know, one of the most important lessons that I remember as I was growing up was treat others how you want to be treated yourself. And that for me is still one of the best lessons and best piece of advice that I've ever heard. Because when I want to, you know, Throw, uh, I don't know whatever it is, even if it's just language out at somebody I'll think, Oh no, hang on.
They don't deserve that. Even though they've said it to me, I don't know what's going on behind the scenes. They might have their own stresses. They might have their own pressures. That's a great point because there's this mantra of don't assume malice. Right? And sometimes we misinterpret someone might say something that's as Michelle would say, that's on the low side.
But sometimes that's, they're manifesting an energy inside of themselves. That is from something totally unrelated by be in the office. They say something that's actually fueled by something that's happening in their personal life. Exactly. And, and it's impossible really. Or at least I haven't [00:44:00] myself learn how to do it yet.
Two totally separate. Outside of the office to inside of the office. I think there will always be a connective tissue that exists for all of us, between different parts of our lives, because that's what makes us us, it's like a patchwork. And I think it's therefore a challenge that all of us will do a throughout our lives is trying to.
Not allow different stresses from work trickle into our home lives because we know ourselves that it fit. It's horrible. When you might say something at home that you don't really mean, and it's just because you're carrying some weight from the day and when you can unshackle yourself and almost, I think the important word here is accept that maybe that's the direction you've gone.
You can then ask for maybe it's forgiveness or at least take that risk and know. Okay, I've gone low here. I apologize. Now I can go higher as Michelle would suggest. [00:45:00] That's great advice. And I think, you know, some of the practical things that I do is like, when I know that I'm really steaming about something that's happened.
Take a minute, take a break, take some time. I had a situation recently where I actually was aware that. I might react in a bad way. So I just said, I'm not going to answer the question. I'm not ready to make a decision. Let's just come back to it in a couple of weeks. And it is amazing. I said a couple of weeks, just very unlike me, but I said, give it a couple of weeks.
And it was so appropriate because after I'd slept on it, And giving us some time, I felt quite a bit different. So when that ego is burning on you in the moment, be aware that we're tempted to say and do things that we might later [00:46:00] regret. Right. And it doesn't matter what people think on the outside. If you took the higher ground, the most important person in the world knows.
You took the high ground. It doesn't matter what other people think. If you did the right thing, even if they went low and you went high, there's such an empowerment for yourself, knowing that you went high. I love that acceptance that you've just said, or you call yourself. And said, ah, I need to leave it for some time.
I'll give it a couple of weeks. I think that's really nice to hear you say that because I think it's such a valuable lesson that all of us do. And this concept sleeping on a decision is still, it's a kind of age old adage, I suppose. And it's still so true. If you need to make an important decision, one of the ways to do it would be okay.
I'm going to sleep on it. React straight away, because it [00:47:00] might be wrong. Maybe you haven't given yourself enough time to think about it. And actually it might be a negative for now, but when you've thought about it properly, it could be the best decision ever. It's totally true. Totally true. Well, we're almost at the end Mark, but we do have one.
Or last clip. I mean, this show could have been two or three hours to be quite honest with the wealth of advice that we've got and learnings that we can take from Michelle Obama. But I particularly like this last final clip because it's got lots inside of it. But it's framed in the advice that Michelle Obama gives to her two daughters.
So let's have a listen to some very wise advice. What's the best advice. Do you think you've given your daughters? Oh gosh, I give them so much advice. They're so sick of me. You know, now that they're in college, I have these texting. Did I ever, [00:48:00] did I tell you to remember little things like you are eating some green things?
Aren't you. But what is the thing that over the years was a running theme in your house that you said over and over? You know, what I tell them as well, continued to tell themselves is that they have to walk their own walk. You know, they cannot define themselves by looking at each other or looking at me or their dad.
They have to take the time to get to know themselves. Give themselves a moment to figure out who they want to be in the world, not who they think I want them to be, not what the rest of the world says about them, but to really think about how they want to shape their lives and how they want to move in this world.
So I don't want them measuring themselves by external influences and for young girls that is hard to do. Oh, you know, that is a very hard thing to do. And everybody should understand that as a responsibility, its culture. Uh, it, [00:49:00] it, it drives me crazy. It was hard. It was hard with just cable TV when you're watching all the images in music videos.
It's I don't know, exponentially difficult with, with social media when you're comparing yourself to everybody on social. Yeah. So I constantly have to remind them. That they have to live in their own skin. And that takes time too. And I try to make sure they understand that, that, that unfolding of understanding who you are.
It, it is a journey of becoming, you don't know it all in your twenties. No, you don't. You just starting to know something right.
Wow. What a great clip to bring us back around, into this idea of becoming, because it's one of those bits of advice that is so important for all of us to know no matter what age we're at and just to hear Michelle and Oprah talking about it with [00:50:00] the context of telling our young people, our daughters are our kids.
That you've got to just accept yourself for who you are. Take the time to figure out what you want to be, who you are, what you want to do in your life, because it's so easy to get distracted day to day with social media work. It's very easy to become what others might expect of you, but actually you need to take that step back and figure out, well, what do I mean to me?
Yeah. I love this idea of spending a bit more time to figure out who you want to be. So you can be more intentional. And in our previous show, we covered clay Christianson who wrote the book, how will you measure your life? So if you want to like, get on track to know yourself and figure out what you want to be, and if you want a tool to do that, read that book by clay Christianson.
It's huge. Absolutely interesting Mike, because if you start to look at Simon Sinek, Renee Brown, You can see the intersection between their personal [00:51:00] advice and Michelle's, but you almost see a broader intersection with the likes of Jim Collins, Peter Drucker. And how so much of our success as an individual at work and at home comes down to having the courage to yourself, being okay with that and to put in the effort to put in the hard work.
And I think Michelle has just given us a smile, I board of lessons on how to be the best version of yourself. Question for you, Mark. If there was one thing you're going to do differently, or one new thing you're going to do tomorrow. Having now done the show together, having looked into the world of Michelle Obama.
What's the big thing you've taken away from today's show. Oh, what a great question. And actually I love to distract from me by also reaching out to the listeners and saying, look, please get in touch with us as well on all of the moonshots channels we're on, obviously all the [00:52:00] social media sites and let us know what you've taken away from today, because it's very easy for us to tell you what we're thinking, but we'd love to hear what you're all thinking too.
I think. The lesson for me is having that confidence to know that by refusing to settle with feeling frustrated, falling into this idea, fear of going low and arguing with other people, letting the stresses be carried around with myself. Instead, let me be me. Let me be authentic. Let me stand by the discipline.
I suppose it takes to try to be a good person. Try to be me. Try to be nice to those around me. I think that's really coming through in a lot of the clips discussed today from Cheryl. How about you, Mike? What are you taking away from this? Oh yeah. I love being yourself and getting to know yourself. I think the.
Keep moving forward and refusing to [00:53:00] settle lessons that we covered today were huge. And I just love, I think in this time when things are a bit more uncertain, don't give in, don't give up, just keep on moving forward, refuse to settle and things will truly come good in the end. So there you have it. What a great, great exploration of the world of Michelle Obama.
I mean, I'm just so excited to see what comes next. I'm going to go check out that show. You recommended Mark on Netflix. If you had a chance to watch it have American factory it's by Michelle China by their higher ground productions, is that. Fantastic. Well, Mark way to all our listeners go. If they're keen to get a bit more moonshots in their life, if they want to get a bit more resilience and energy bus, where do they go?
I want everybody. To pop along to a little place called moonshots of.io. You can follow us. You [00:54:00] can listen to a lot of the archives shows all 68 of them, in fact, so you can settle in for a nice long weekend as well. Finding some of our show notes, the transcriptions of our episodes, as well as a sneak peek at who's going to be coming up in the future.
Well, come on, we can't tase them out. Mikey left that one hanging. Oh, you're evil. Yeah. Well, we obviously have the women in innovation series. I mean, geez, it's a bit hard to follow Michelle Obama. We have two outstanding ladies, Melinda Gates and Arianna Huffington, who will be the next two shows. And by golly, gosh, are you in free trade listeners?
There will be a ton of good stuff coming. Without doubt. So there you have it. That is show 69, uh, from the moonshots podcast, going deep into the world of Michelle Obama. I hope you, our [00:55:00] listeners have enjoyed it as much as we Mark and myself have it really enjoyed learning from one of the greatest.
Ladies of our time. Michelle Obama, thank you for your time on this episode. And we look forward to having you on the next one, the main shops podcast. That's a wrap.