Journaling Your Way to Resilience: Insights from Dr. Julie Smith
EPISODE 241
Join the dynamic duo, hosts Mike and Mark, on the latest episode of the Moonshots Podcast as they delve deep into the enlightening book, "Clear Thinking" by Shane Parrish.
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Join the dynamic duo, hosts Mike and Mark, on the latest episode of the Moonshots Podcast as they delve deep into the enlightening book, "Clear Thinking" by Shane Parrish.
Shane Parrish, a powerhouse entrepreneur, investor, and the brain behind the renowned website Farnam Street, brings forth a game-changing perspective on decision-making. With credentials that boast influence over Fortune 500 companies, major sports leagues, and top publications, Parrish's insights are not to be missed.
In "Clear Thinking", Parrish throws light on our often-autopilot behavior and how our conditioned reactions govern our lives. Through a blend of riveting stories and thought-provoking mental models, he reveals the art and science behind effective decision-making. It's more than just a book; it's a manual to optimize decisions, gain a competitive edge, and lead an intentional life.
Episode Highlights:
INTRO: Shane kicks off the conversation in a riveting discussion with Rich Roll, shedding light on the intricacies of decision-making.
Self-Reflection is Key (3m15): Delving into the essence of introspection and its paramount role in our choices.
Life is like Tetris (3m37): Productivity Game unravels one of the much-discussed 'cheat codes' from Shane's treasure trove. What's the connection between life and Tetris? Tune in to find out.
Most Important Factor (1m39): Productivity Game is back, presenting yet another gem from "Clear Thinking." What's that one factor that stands out in decision-making? Don't miss it!
OUTRO: The finale sees Shane in an enlightening conversation with Tim Ferriss, where they discuss the pivotal moments that define our decision-making process.
Equip yourself with tools to not only recognize transformative moments but also to navigate the space between stimuli and responses with finesse. With Shane Parrish's insights, let's bid adieu to the autopilot mode and embrace a life led by reason and rationality.
Tune in to the Moonshots Podcast and embark on a journey of introspection, self-awareness, and stellar decision-making!
Buy The Book on Amazon
Transcript
00:01:03:03 - 00:01:15:14
Speaker 1
Hello and welcome to the Moon Shots podcast. It's episode 240. I'm your co-host, Mike Parsons. And as always, I'm joined by Mr. Mark Freeland. Good morning, Mike.
00:01:15:16 - 00:01:37:03
Speaker 2
Hey, good morning, Mike. Good morning. Listeners, Viewers, Subscribers and Moonshots. Family members. Boy, Mike. It's sad of me to say this, but I think even though we're coming to the end of our fantastic series on journaling, we do end on a great high today with the topic of conversation from Julie Smith, don't we?
00:01:37:05 - 00:01:56:15
Speaker 1
We certainly do. And this is a refrain that you and I are constantly saying in the show, and I promise you, listeners, members and viewers, we're not stealing this from her. We're always saying we weren't taught this stuff at school. Everything we do on the moon shows, podcasts, we're trying to fill the gap between high school, college and life.
00:01:56:17 - 00:02:00:00
Speaker 1
And this book is all about that, isn't it?
00:02:00:02 - 00:02:21:00
Speaker 2
Yeah, that's exactly right. So without further ado, we're going to dive into Dr. Julie Smith's book. Why has Nobody Told me this before? Everyday tools for Life's ups and downs. Like you say, Mike, it seems surprising to me just how many shows we've done and are still doing where I'm learning something that I just don't believe nobody's told me before.
00:02:21:02 - 00:02:44:09
Speaker 2
But what's fantastic about today's episode and the book from Dr. Julie Smith is just how accessible and digest able a lot of her content, a lot of her advice is. Yes. And I think it's going to work really nicely as a bookend for our series on journaling, because we really have gone through a couple of different, let's call them, genres or themes within the idea and the world of journaling.
00:02:44:11 - 00:03:06:09
Speaker 2
We've obviously covered insights and habits from a number of different individuals and experts in the field. And I think with Julie Smith today, who came to fame, I should say from a lot of social media buzz, she created fantastic content that a lot of people around the world have a lot of inspiration from, which ultimately led towards her book in 2022 coming out.
00:03:06:10 - 00:03:26:19
Speaker 2
Yes. Which is obviously the topic of conversation today. I think it's surprising to me, Mike, just how varied this series has become for us. Yeah, but also how some mented and confident I personally feel in the benefit that I get. And I think you do too, from this whole exercise, which I think has been a wonderful journey to go on.
00:03:26:24 - 00:03:51:02
Speaker 1
Yeah, I think we are advocates and ambassadors of journaling and number one and two, we love this stuff. I think it's been no secret that what we've shared throughout the series and throughout the show is, you know, a couple of years ago, we got into the cold showers a couple of years ago, we discovered mindfulness. We discovered a lot of different practices.
00:03:51:04 - 00:04:17:00
Speaker 1
We discovered how to build habits with James Clear. We learn how to be resilient with David Goggins and Ryan Holiday. I think what we've learned with journaling is it's way more than just clearing your head and we're going to start that today with clearing your head. But it doesn't end there today with clearing your head. So if you want to discover your creativity, your mindfulness, and just generally feel better in your day.
00:04:17:02 - 00:04:37:22
Speaker 1
We've got the show for you. If you like doing a little bit of breathwork, if you like doing a little bit of meditation, if you've scribbled a few notes in in your past, well, this show will take you to the next level. This is all about mental well-being, mental health that you can adopt, habits that you can do every single day.
00:04:38:00 - 00:04:45:12
Speaker 1
You can literally finish this show and start feeling better. That's how good it is, man.
00:04:45:14 - 00:05:04:10
Speaker 2
You know what, Mike? That's a great promise. And the reason why I like that is because it's single minded and digestible, a lot like the content that comes out of Julie Smith. So why don't we kick off Mike and introduce the rest of our listeners and members to some of the work by Dr. Julie Smith by giving Julie the chance to provide for us today.
00:05:04:12 - 00:05:08:12
Speaker 2
Three Tips on Staying Aware.
00:05:08:14 - 00:05:26:01
Speaker 3
If you want to stop overthinking everything, then hit three tips to get you started. Number one, and this is crucial is build your awareness of when you're doing it. You can't stop doing something if you do it when you're on autopilot. So start by journaling at the end of the day. And then over time, you'll build your awareness of it when it's happening.
00:05:26:04 - 00:05:46:13
Speaker 3
Number two, use an anchor to bring your attention to the here and now. When you're overthinking, you tend to be focused on the future or the past. Using something like mindfulness can help you practice choosing where you focus your attention. Number three, try to balance out those worst case scenario thoughts with some best case scenario thoughts. We tend to overthink when we're anxious, and that's when our minds catastrophize.
00:05:46:18 - 00:05:51:15
Speaker 3
So try to balance out those thoughts with the alternative, which is the best.
00:05:51:17 - 00:06:19:14
Speaker 1
Right? So there we go. Mike. Mike, you've got so much to unpack there. The first thing I want to say is this is very consistent with our study. What we've seen, if we go right back to Stephen Covey, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, So the heavyweights of self-help they talk about don't dwell in the past. Obviously, there's the power of regret with Daniel Pink.
00:06:19:18 - 00:06:50:01
Speaker 1
You can use regrets to power you going forward. But the key thing is not dwelling in the past because those things have happened. So why would you keep reliving them and going through all the pain again? At some point you should be good with it. Put it in a box. It's done. Likewise, what's really interesting about this thought from Julie Smith is that you can stop worrying about the future, because here's the interesting thing we've learned on the show, Mark, is the future hasn't happened.
00:06:50:03 - 00:07:23:07
Speaker 1
So if you're worrying about it, he's the crazy thing. You're you're actually giving emotional state to something that's yet to have occurred. So if you are feeling negative about something in the future, well, who's to say it's going to be negative? You're almost preempting your emotional state because of your concerns, your fears and so forth. What Julie Smith is saying is if you start journaling, you will notice that you have the capacity to dwell on the past or you might worry about the future.
00:07:23:09 - 00:07:50:15
Speaker 1
And she's saying, Hey, use your journal as a tool to reduce this. Some might call it the monkey mind, which is something you know, you and I talk about a lot. Maybe it's just thinking too much. At some point, I would make the case to you, Mark, that if something has happened in the past, you should accept it, analyze it, and get the, you know, what over it and move on.
00:07:50:17 - 00:08:13:19
Speaker 1
Just like if there's something worrying you about the future, then you ask yourself, what's the worst that could happen? And go about improving on that and de-risking that thing? Because you know what? Life is imperfect. Life is full of challenge. And what we've learned, Mark, is that every successful person who's shot for the moon is full of self-doubt, self-doubt, fear and uncertainty.
00:08:13:23 - 00:08:36:04
Speaker 1
They develop tools like those of Julie Smith to get through those. They don't let those feelings of dread or worry overtake them. I think this is like so critical as a starting point. If you feel like you overthink, start getting it out on paper. Start writing it on your laptop. Get it out. Like just purge the system, right?
00:08:36:06 - 00:09:19:07
Speaker 2
Yeah. Look, I've got here's one I made earlier. You know, go my journal right here, Mike. And I would bet you 90%, perhaps maybe higher of a lot of the early journals that I was doing were utilized just to try and get that noise out of my head. And that was valuable to me because then it helped me be reminded of exactly what Julie was taking us in that first clip and where the build that you were just taking us on, helping us stay grounded, helping us stay present, I guess is another way of putting it to the extent where we're not catastrophizing, to use Julie's word, and going a bit beyond ourselves because we've
00:09:19:07 - 00:09:38:09
Speaker 2
all done this and it's very, very easy to do worrying about what somebody else is thinking or doing or saying maybe even about you behind your back. You know, we've spoken about email bombs when they come into your inbox and immediately it ruins your day. But at the end of the day, you don't know what tone it was sent in.
00:09:38:09 - 00:10:09:11
Speaker 2
You know, it's very much an interpretation on our side. Yes. How we choose to interpret other people's behavior. And I think what's been really interesting for me through the active trying to get into journaling and now doing it pretty regularly is that it helps me remind myself to do the same thing. So rather than me worrying about what other people are going to do or worrying about how I'm going to react to something when the activity hasn't even happened before and it hasn't happened yet, it's something that helps me kind of rein myself back in.
00:10:09:11 - 00:10:14:03
Speaker 2
Yes, and that's been a really valuable experience, I would say.
00:10:14:05 - 00:10:36:20
Speaker 1
So to take this further, this is exactly what we learn in the power of now, because what Eckhart totally basically says is, what's the point of being in the past, right? Why would you keep returning to the past? And then he makes the point, Well, the future hasn't happened. So the best and only place you can be is in the present.
00:10:36:23 - 00:11:18:10
Speaker 1
Right. Yeah. And this is what journaling helps you do. It's sort of you kind of calibrate against the past in the future and you can bring yourself into the present and be good with things. And it's, it's just like, you know, when you, you, you go to that that wisdom like a problem shed is a problem halved. I think he can see what a journal can be exactly the same that when you write down your problem there's automatically some sort of upside for you as the author because you're just getting it out of your head, you're articulating it, you're coming to terms with it, and naturally, at a certain point you won't want to write
00:11:18:10 - 00:11:28:20
Speaker 1
about it anymore because you know what it is, and you can start to move on to some positive habits that give you up for making the next best step.
00:11:28:22 - 00:11:51:25
Speaker 2
You know what, Mike? You've reminded me of another technique that I've found, which I think is where you were going. There, which is sometimes I'll get myself into a bit of a cycle thinking the same. Like we've spoken about the idea of negative thoughts percolating in our minds when you obsess over it too much, you know, it kind of becomes reality, doesn't it?
00:11:52:03 - 00:12:12:20
Speaker 2
That's when you get you those physical pains in your body because you're holding in all the tension. Sometimes I found myself writing about sudden emotions or frustrations, and after maybe two or three or maybe more entries, I'll start rolling my eyes as I'm writing it again. And I think, Why am I still obsessed over this thing, right? Why is it running every day?
00:12:12:21 - 00:12:30:05
Speaker 2
Yes. And you write, it's like a bucket of water. You have to go on that journey to then appreciate and realize Why am I being this closed minded? Why am I being so? Why am I putting in the blockers for myself? Yes. Why am I the red lights? To use Matthew McConaughey's analogy.
00:12:30:07 - 00:12:31:03
Speaker 1
The the.
00:12:31:05 - 00:12:34:18
Speaker 2
You're right. It's a wonderful reminder, isn't it, to keep keep it clear for yourself.
00:12:34:18 - 00:13:03:16
Speaker 1
Yeah. I think without journaling, our minds are like these pressure cookers. And what happens is the pressure builds up and we just the monkey mind is running rampant through our lives, whereas what we have the chance to do is to let the hot air out, let the pressure out, come to terms with things. And you know, when you see people in popular culture, particularly sportsmen, who are cool under pressure right?
00:13:03:18 - 00:13:27:14
Speaker 1
Yeah, this is what we can all be like, like Kobe, who is so cool under pressure or Michael Jordan cool as a cucumber. He'd take the last shot. He'll try and make the winning the winning shot, whereas a lot of us would just be like freaking out. Yeah, these these state of calmness amongst the storm is such a good metaphor for life.
00:13:27:14 - 00:14:03:17
Speaker 1
And I really do believe that through the practice and through doing this series together, the last four shows, journaling is right up there with meditation. For me, this is a go to practice and I will credit and you know, an earlier show think was Julia Cameron. You know, I disparages the idea of getting in front of your journal for 20 minutes and just getting it all out every morning is one of the most powerful experiences to quell the monkey mind, to stop overthinking you structure.
00:14:03:17 - 00:14:10:24
Speaker 1
It's like a very it's like Marie Kondo is gone in your mind. She's cleaned house and you're good to go.
00:14:11:00 - 00:14:29:08
Speaker 2
Oh, I like that analogy. We get Marie Kondo into your brains. Yeah, that's a nice that's a nice extension. So I'm like, I mean, we're hearing Eckhart Tolle here. We're hearing power of regret. We're hearing Marie Kondo. Is that nothing that journaling doesn't seem to interact with and touch?
00:14:29:13 - 00:14:56:23
Speaker 1
Well, later in the show, we are going to try and go full circle because Julie Smith does such a good job of talking to these topics. But I think what we've found, and we certainly talked about this in the Master series is that journaling gives you the chance to clear the mind, explore creativity and possibility, and thirdly, to give you a chance to come to terms with your ikigai or your purpose.
00:14:56:25 - 00:15:21:06
Speaker 1
Why are you here? What do you believe in? How are you going to get your vision manifested? It's three big things Clear the head, creativity and purpose. This is all on offer from journaling. And if you are a member of the Moonshots Master series, you can go and listen to the recently published Journaling Master series and boy, there's a lot of goodies in that is in there, man.
00:15:21:08 - 00:15:45:16
Speaker 2
I'll tell you what, there were a lot of a heap, in fact, of tips, tricks, habits that helped all of us, the moonshots family, as well as our moon shots. Members really maximize, understand and put into practice some of those tips and tricks from these mega individuals that we covered. Mike on the journaling show. Now, those individuals, though, always deserve a little bit of a shoutout.
00:15:45:16 - 00:16:08:06
Speaker 2
You know, I have a little bit of a penchant for not only writing about these individuals in my journal, but also celebrating them week in, week out. So, please, without further ado, Dr. Drew, welcome. Bob Marshall and Ken, Dietmar, Marjan, Conner. Rodrigo and Lisa said Mr. Bond, Jerry Paul and Burt Kalman, Joe Christin and Samuel Barber, Andre, Eric and Chris.
00:16:08:06 - 00:16:38:16
Speaker 2
Deborah last night. Steven Craig, Daniel, Andrew, Ravi, Evette, Karen, Raul, PJ and Nick Lara and our brand new annual members, Ola Ingram and Doug. Thank you guys for your continued support and love on those heels. As always, Emily, Harry Karthik and Carter, Marco Jet, Roger and Anna Roar, Nederland, Diana, Christophe, Denise, Laura, Smitty and Corey Bertram, Daniella, Mike and Dan Antonio, Vanessa Zachariah, Brian and Katie, Austin and Fred.
00:16:38:21 - 00:16:56:08
Speaker 2
Guys, thank you so much once again for tuning in, supporting the Moonshots podcast and also just as a reminder, if you don't already know about it, go and check out the Masters Series, because that is a set of episodes that are made just for you guys.
00:16:56:12 - 00:17:21:20
Speaker 1
That's right. Yeah. So if you'd like to become a member, head to Moonshots dot, I click on the big members button, you'll get access to the moonshots Master's series and I think we have officially validated it's ISO certified that you will get Luna powered. Good karma for becoming a member of the moonshots podcast. But Mark, we've been selling this idea that journaling is more than just clearing the head.
00:17:21:22 - 00:17:23:25
Speaker 1
Do you have the proof?
00:17:24:01 - 00:17:48:11
Speaker 2
Hmm. I think, Mike, I'm going to pitch you and all of our members and listeners that I do have the proof. So next up, we're going to hear Dr. Julie Smith. Now talk to Ali Abdul about how all of us, not only those individuals who are already aware of journaling, but all of us at home who might be thinking, is this something for me can actually get in touch with our core beliefs and start to hack our habits?
00:17:48:14 - 00:18:09:23
Speaker 2
We're journaling. I'm a person that gets things done. I'm a productive person. I'm a sort of whatever that that means, that kind of anything underneath that, which is basically everything else in life becomes easier to do. Whereas I find with people who have told themselves that they are a procrastinator, I'm just so unproductive. Oh, I could never do that.
00:18:09:25 - 00:18:24:11
Speaker 2
It becomes so hard to then do all of the other things like health and wealth and like caring about relationships, like all all of the other stuff around. What makes a good life is harder to do if you have an identity of someone who does not have their shit together proverbially. I don't know if that's something that you found at all.
00:18:24:11 - 00:18:47:02
Speaker 3
Yeah, absolutely. You can have sort of core beliefs about yourself from from that came from, you know, maybe early in childhood and they've just persisted. And then and they can really we don't think about them all the time so we're not always even aware of them. You know, in therapy we'll spend sometimes a fair amount of time. So trying to work out what those core beliefs of someone and I'm really sort of trying to get right down to it.
00:18:47:04 - 00:19:06:07
Speaker 3
And once we get there, there's so often this sort of light bulb moment of people, what they think. Yes. And because you don't really think about your core beliefs all the time, sometimes never at all. But they're that template that was set up for you early in life is is your template for the world. So it's your idea of their often I am statements.
00:19:06:07 - 00:19:27:09
Speaker 3
So it might be I don't know if it was something negative it might be I am unlovable or I am unlikable or something, or it might be what to expect from other people. So other people will abandon me or other people will, you know, hurt me or something or something about the world. So the world is a dangerous place or something like that.
00:19:27:09 - 00:19:48:16
Speaker 3
So those those core beliefs are things that kind of sit under the surface and influence the choices that we make, but we don't necessarily consciously think about why we're making those choices. We have an urge and we go with it because we always do it. So. So yeah, that's sort of all of that identity stuff is a big part of what happens in therapy, but we can do that kind of thing in a self-help approach.
00:19:48:16 - 00:20:09:20
Speaker 3
So with journaling and things like that, you know, you can really reflect on some of your own, you know, choices or the cycles that you seem to get stuck in and you're not really sure how to break it. Getting it down on paper, something we do in therapy a lot is getting a bird's eye view. We literally draw maps of behavior patterns and and then you look down and you go, Oh, that's how I can break it.
00:20:09:20 - 00:20:26:14
Speaker 3
That's this the exit. Okay, now I know what I need to do, which can be really helpful. Says a lot about the book where there's a lot of things like journal prompts that just questions for you to sit down and go, okay, let's answer these 10 minutes and maybe you might have that moment when you go, Oh, okay.
00:20:26:16 - 00:20:44:05
Speaker 2
Yeah. I think journaling prompts a such an underrated like technique because like I I've, I've come across a lot of journal as I was reading through the book I was like, Oh, these prompts are really good. And then I didn't do anything with them. But I know if I just sat with any one of them for 10 minutes and I actually just answered it, I'd get some clarity on like stuff in my life.
00:20:44:07 - 00:20:50:18
Speaker 2
And I just feels like at any time I've done that in the past, I've always felt felt like, I'm really glad I did this. I really should do this more often.
00:20:50:21 - 00:21:10:13
Speaker 3
Yeah. And that's why doing this sort of, you know, the the therapy thing, even though there's not a specific problem. Yeah. That you're really trying to fix, sometimes it can be that sort of introspection and, and learning about yourself in the way that you might with journaling where you just have someone to answer or ask those questions. But then also reflect back on what they're hearing and things like that.
00:21:10:13 - 00:21:20:19
Speaker 3
You know, a therapist can be a mirror essentially where they reflect back to you what they're hearing from you, and sometimes that can be quite surprising what you realize. You yourself.
00:21:20:21 - 00:21:52:12
Speaker 1
I totally I totally dig this. To me. My what what's really interesting is Dr. Julie Smith, who is a psychologist, is explaining to us really the mechanic by which therapy and generally are the same thing. By writing it down, you get it back. By sharing it with a psychologist, you get it back. These are all ways to see, to make tangible your thinking patterns, be them good, bad or otherwise.
00:21:52:12 - 00:22:21:10
Speaker 1
But it's to expose things because we get lost in our own thoughts. Right? I the classic thing that I would share with you as an example here is that it was only upon rereading my journal, Ala the advice of Matthew McConaughey. It was upon rereading it and seeing that I mentioned sleep so much that it was very easy for me to now prioritize sleep above anything else.
00:22:21:10 - 00:22:43:20
Speaker 1
Priority number one Good. Sleep good. Mike. Basic. But I. I kind of knew it, but it was seeing it in the journal, much like I'd imagine if I was in a session and getting this back from a psychologist telling me how you keep this is kind of like a mindset that you have, I'd be like, Oh my gosh, sleep is really important.
00:22:43:22 - 00:23:10:09
Speaker 1
I think what was also interesting is Julie Smith was talking about when she's working with a patient to draw a situation. So through that illustration on paper they can see how to get themselves out of that habit or that situation. And I think journaling is just the same. But the great news is Jillian costs you nothing and you can actually do it after you after you finish Moonshots podcast.
00:23:10:11 - 00:23:13:23
Speaker 2
Yeah, you've got to finish Moonshot focus first. Yes.
00:23:13:25 - 00:23:21:10
Speaker 1
So much. I just believe market scientists have research to prove it that you can only journal after you've listened to the show. All right.
00:23:21:15 - 00:23:46:02
Speaker 2
Seeking of the full picture. The full picture. Look, I had a very quick glance through my own journal as you were as you were talking there. And what it reminded me when we were listening to that clip just then from Julie Smith talking about exactly as you just brought up these these maps that people can control and that help them establish where they are.
00:23:46:04 - 00:24:10:07
Speaker 2
A lot of the time, my use of my journal and it's reminded me of this, it is not just a static word by word experience. I do bring in maybe not doodles, but when there's a decision that I need to make something that keep me up at night, I'll bring in some second order thinking. Yeah, I'll bring in some pros and cons list too, and then I'll work on my y.
00:24:10:09 - 00:24:33:03
Speaker 2
You know, can be this dynamic artwork, I suppose is one way of putting it. Or maybe Julie would go that far because you're, you're using your journal as a mirror. So in a funny sort of way, you are interpreting yourself through that process as well as you are relieving yourself of that monkey mind and stress and so on.
00:24:33:05 - 00:24:57:13
Speaker 2
So what I find particularly beneficial there exactly is you've started to use it as well, is referring back to some of your previous moments or entries, and it becomes this wonderful little treasure chest, I suppose, where you can look for those patterns, you can seek out how do they react that last time. Now I remember there was some thing that woke me up a couple of weeks ago.
00:24:57:15 - 00:25:10:15
Speaker 2
What was it now? Let's have a look back. It's almost like a little written history, isn't it? And that's where we can really learn, I think, about how we react to things. So it also it's yeah.
00:25:10:17 - 00:25:33:05
Speaker 1
I was just going to say, if you type out your journal as opposed to handwrite it and there's many reasons why, you know, we've heard in this series why handwriting is a very good connection, hand to heart connection. But here's the crazy thing. I typed mine and it works great for me typing, so that's okay. Do you know what I just realized?
00:25:33:06 - 00:25:43:00
Speaker 1
I could upload my journal documents into JPT and ask it to tell me the main themes.
00:25:43:02 - 00:25:44:03
Speaker 2
You could do.
00:25:44:05 - 00:25:54:10
Speaker 1
But could you believe how powerful it is? Take a year's worth of journal. Tell me the top ten things I'm always struggling with. But how could we have that?
00:25:54:12 - 00:26:00:09
Speaker 2
And I would that would be I have a feeling we might need a journaling round two series.
00:26:00:10 - 00:26:21:17
Speaker 1
My gosh. JP Journaling. But this is the thing, isn't it, though? You can do things like How am I feeling now? But you could also a journal prompt that I've done recently is explain how the work that I have at the moment is connected to my purpose.
00:26:21:19 - 00:26:22:25
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:26:23:01 - 00:26:45:11
Speaker 1
This is really good because sometimes when you're feeling a little bit flat or tired or a little bit lost, that exercise is connecting. Here's what I'm working on right now and here's how it's part of my purpose. If that connection is tenuous and you find yourself struggling to make the argument, Oh, big inside, right? Well, I'm a bit off track right now.
00:26:45:11 - 00:27:18:13
Speaker 1
And this exercise, this prompt, is helping me understand that. And, you know, prompts, Oh, my gosh, we've talked a lot about prompts. Allie talked about prompts with Julie. There they are. The way to open yourself up and you just Google journaling prompts. I've talked about them on many shows, so just go through any of the recent journaling series and I mentioned a lot of my favorite prompts, but this, this is the the opportunity space, isn't it my to go so much further than not only how you're feeling right now, but are you on track with the person you want to be?
00:27:18:13 - 00:27:23:00
Speaker 1
Are you going to leave the legacy that you want to leave? Are you living the true life?
00:27:23:02 - 00:27:45:05
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. Are you living? And that can be so beneficial not only when the going gets tough, You know, again, something that we learned from Matthew McConaughey, particularly, obviously the individuals that we covered on the rest of the journaling show series is helped, you know, re establish and put in the foundations to do it as much as we can.
00:27:45:11 - 00:28:08:00
Speaker 2
But Matthew McConaughey was very, very forthright in calling out. You don't just journal when you're in a bad race. Yeah, you've got a journal all the time. Yeah, as much as you can, I guess, because then you recognize more of those behaviors, more of those aspects, more that priorities and so on. And that's something that took me a little bit of time during the first couple of months.
00:28:08:00 - 00:28:22:00
Speaker 2
Maybe it was a process that I went through only when I was feeling a little bit stuck. Yeah, rough about some, but actually doing it more regularly, more positively becomes more artistic. It's actually is Julia Cameron was.
00:28:22:03 - 00:28:43:07
Speaker 1
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean you could you could literally use your journal as a place to do a post mortem on like for our listeners and our members and our viewers right now. They could spend the next seven days doing the following journal exercise. What went well yesterday and why?
00:28:43:09 - 00:28:43:23
Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:28:43:25 - 00:29:00:09
Speaker 1
And don't you don't have to get into any of the heavy stuff. What was great, What was great about it? What did I do? How did I do it and why did it make me feel so good? What a great start to. Generally, you don't always have to go into all the dark. Stormy clouds of Mordor are upon me.
00:29:00:13 - 00:29:06:09
Speaker 1
The world is ending. Oh, my God. Yeah, it can be super. Things are pretty good right now. I wonder why.
00:29:06:12 - 00:29:31:22
Speaker 2
Yeah, and that's what I think in Julia Cameron's show that we covered with the auto states, that that's kind of the sentimentality that I was interpreting from that activity. Just find those little moments in your day where you can notice, observe things that kind of inspire you. But I like the build that you're doing them like because what you're then connecting it with is back into the morning pages, back into.
00:29:31:24 - 00:29:38:04
Speaker 2
Yes, practicing it each day, treating journaling like a muscle. Yes. I think that's a nice that's a nice prompt, actually.
00:29:38:10 - 00:29:59:07
Speaker 1
Yeah, it really is. And I think that this is where it's like for us. So important to point out just the potential that lies within journaling. And it is really a it's the low cost, easy, quick option to get to know yourself better. And in fact, I think this next clip really gets into that.
00:29:59:09 - 00:30:21:01
Speaker 2
Yeah, you're totally right. So I think we're starting to really uncover and scratch this idea, regret this idea of understanding why. So now let's go back into the book of why is nobody told me this Before by Julie Smith and actually hear a great breakdown from four minute book summary who going to help us identify and assess our needs.
00:30:21:03 - 00:30:53:23
Speaker 4
Ask yourself questions to discover the unmet needs, triggering your emotions. Then address those needs directly. Emotion don't just magically appear out of thin air like a river. Emotions must have a source. According to Dr. Smith, they always result from unmet needs. Therefore, if we want to handle our emotions well, we must identify and address those needs as a result, the emotions will pass.
00:30:53:25 - 00:31:20:00
Speaker 4
For example, if you overate at dinner, woke up at night with dry mouth syndrome and only got 6 hours of sleep. It's no surprise you are grumpy in the morning. But even if it's not a biologically obvious, like our feelings always have an origin. In the case of my sudden to do list anxiety, for example, it might come from me not feeling as if I've done enough for the day.
00:31:20:03 - 00:31:48:01
Speaker 4
Feelings aren't just in your head, Dr. Smith says. They can come from inside your body, the state of your household, your current circumstances, things that happened in the past and of course the people you interact with to draw out your unmet need. Smith recommends asking yourself several questions, maybe even journaling about them on the regular. What are your exact thoughts when a bad mood pops up?
00:31:48:03 - 00:32:12:20
Speaker 4
When do these thoughts usually occur? In what setting? Do you feel any other physical sensations to go along with your bad mood? What have you done in the last few days leading up to feeling bad? Ask questions, find answers, discover the unmet needs behind your feelings, and address those needs directly, even if you decide not to do anything about them.
00:32:12:20 - 00:32:19:12
Speaker 4
In some cases, going to the source of your emotions will help you manage them more gracefully.
00:32:19:14 - 00:32:42:11
Speaker 1
Yeah, it really is about being more graceful. And you know, I just want to come back to the insanely practical advice that we can give here, which is to take journaling prompts and work on them to deal with your emotions. So here's a couple of good ones. If you've got uncomfortable emotions, right, fear, anger, all that kind of stuff, you can ask yourself.
00:32:42:11 - 00:33:04:06
Speaker 1
And you would literally write this at the top of the page and then you answer the question What complex thoughts or emotions come up most frequently for you? Okay, Which emotions are most challenging to accept? Guilt, anger, disappointment, etc. Describe a choice you regret. What did you learn from it now? So those are all dealing with tough things.
00:33:04:08 - 00:33:38:01
Speaker 1
But here's the other thing. Here's here's some prompts about living your best life. Describe your favorite thing to do when feeling alone. What three ordinary things bring you the most joy? How do you prioritize self-care and describe two or three things you do to relax? The point here is whether it's good or bad dark light. However you're feeling and thinking you can use the journal and use prompts to open it up and just to get you writing, to get you in touch with those emotions.
00:33:38:07 - 00:34:03:08
Speaker 1
Because so many of us feel uncomfortable when we have emotions, that we have a poor grasp of understanding. If we're feeling deeply frustrated, but we don't know why, it's almost easier if you if you're triggered by something and you know what exactly triggered you, then that's almost a clear black and white situation. But, you know, the murkiness thing of life, which is am I on track?
00:34:03:10 - 00:34:28:06
Speaker 1
Am I being the best version of myself? Well, use prompts and get stuck into it. Right? Get stuck into it. And the technique I would advocate here is once you've gotten into answering a few simple questions, Google up a lot of journaling prompts for whatever you want to address and then scan through them until you find one that you instantly have a reaction to.
00:34:28:12 - 00:34:39:18
Speaker 1
Don't think about it. Just go, Oh, for some reason I want that one got me grabbed that question. Use it as a prompt and go It's that easy.
00:34:39:20 - 00:34:58:23
Speaker 2
Yeah, I love that idea. I think we were talking about it last week as well. Well, maybe in in the Master series, which was finding that prompts that, you know, it's kind of like picking at picking a scab. It doesn't feel that comfortable. But at the same time, you know, something that you need to you need to go out and you need to investigate this.
00:34:59:00 - 00:35:22:19
Speaker 2
And I think you're totally right, Mike. And that's that's the reason why I like that so much, is because it is a bridge moment. It can be a positive thing or it can be, you know, something that is a little bit uncomfortable and negative. So in and in a realm of efficiency, finally, a prompt that gets you going like that enables you to be able to just pull all of those thoughts out, whether they're positive and or negative.
00:35:22:19 - 00:35:43:02
Speaker 2
You know, sometimes for me, if I'm in a bit of a let's call it a negative headspace, the only thing that will probably come out of me when I'm generally will probably be in that sort of headspace, that mindset. Obviously it will vary depending on the time of day to what's going on, positive things or negative things and so on.
00:35:43:04 - 00:36:06:08
Speaker 2
But I like the idea of being able to find a way of communicating both aspects in a quite neutral way. So then your journaling is more like an observation. You know, for me it's always been, it's always been quite practical and quite physical in the sense of this is what I've done, this is what I want to go out and do.
00:36:06:10 - 00:36:15:15
Speaker 2
The observation, finding a way of of just noticing how you are reacting without reacting would probably be the next level. Maybe I'm.
00:36:15:19 - 00:36:16:09
Speaker 1
Not your.
00:36:16:11 - 00:36:16:23
Speaker 2
Wife.
00:36:16:25 - 00:36:48:04
Speaker 1
No, I'm totally with you. So what I feel that you're talking about is a what? How, why architecture. Here's what I'm feeling. Then you can start to explore. Well, how am I feeling that? Like, in what situations is this coming up and start to analyze it? And then the big chestnut, as always, is why, if you're feeling anger in these sorts of situations and you're actually coming to terms with it, the more you explore it, the more confident you'll become in actually understanding and conquering it.
00:36:48:06 - 00:37:12:15
Speaker 1
So once you've got the what and how, for example, it say it's fear, you're scared of something and you're like, what is it that I'm scared of? How is that fear manifesting? I'm like, What situations? And then you can go and say, okay, why am I feeling this? And if you can push enough on that, why on the other side of that is what you were just talking about, is that detachment.
00:37:12:15 - 00:37:22:24
Speaker 1
You're like, Oh, I understand why I do that now, so I can now listen to myself from that behavior. I can almost rise above it.
00:37:23:00 - 00:37:52:13
Speaker 2
And say, That's it. I think that's the superpower. Maybe. I think, Mike, you're probably nearly there if you're not already. From your your experience with journaling it out, you can alert in it's chatty Betty. Yeah. I think I think the next journaling series that we're probably do a book on will be yours but it but but I jest but actually what I find very very interesting is of all the topics that we've covered, these ideas of regret.
00:37:52:19 - 00:38:22:03
Speaker 2
Daniel Pink Yes. These ideas of why with silence it surprises me. Perhaps that or maybe it impresses me. And just how much value I think a little book like this can give me as an individual who's trying to learn about himself, get a little bit more confident. Maybe they're focused. All of these lessons that we're learning ultimately by keeping some kind of record almost, it can be like a like a staircase.
00:38:22:09 - 00:38:42:04
Speaker 2
The only way is really up here if you document it, if you reflect on it and so on. A lot of these individuals that we're covering and a lot of this advice by putting into practice within our journals, I think actually really, really can help us strive towards being that best version of ourselves or or, you know, successful version of ourselves.
00:38:42:06 - 00:38:46:08
Speaker 2
And I think that's kind of where you were going earlier, wasn't it? Mike? It is essential for you.
00:38:46:10 - 00:39:10:00
Speaker 1
I think so. And if you ask me how I'm going or my wife and I are having a conversation, I'm talking with a friend, I feel that since I've lifted my journaling game, like I'm just when someone says, How are you doing? I'm like, okay, I actually have a better sense of the answer. Like, and not like a snappy word.
00:39:10:04 - 00:39:37:10
Speaker 1
I'm like, I have, I have I have that true sense of how I actually am doing as opposed to, Oh yeah, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm great, everything's lovely, I'm busy. You know, all this stand standard answers. I think journaling is so good at making you truly aware of where you're at and then the how and the why that gets tied up in that.
00:39:37:12 - 00:40:01:17
Speaker 1
But you can then share that with friends and family so much better. You can communicate your needs where you're at, what you're trying to get done. Whereas we all know that if we're stressed, like I know it totally, you know, this stress really kind of constricts your thinking, right? And so when you're under stress trying to make a complex decision, it's very hard, right?
00:40:01:18 - 00:40:24:07
Speaker 1
Because you just don't have any space in the mind, like everything's closing down, I think. Imagine if you did your morning pages every single day in your journal. Imagine how much clearer the world would seem after weight for this, say, 30 days of every day during morning pages. Oh, my gosh. You'd see the world in HD 4k high resolution.
00:40:24:09 - 00:40:44:20
Speaker 2
I could believe that. I could believe that because you're right. When the going gets tough and things are stressful, I find my vision gets very, very narrow in the sense that not only can I not think about all of the other stuff I'm meant to be doing, but actually visually trying to focus on stuff is very, very Konya, you know, very, very slight point.
00:40:44:22 - 00:41:22:09
Speaker 2
And you're right, when you do start to remember by through the act of writing, whether it's digital or otherwise, through the act of remembering, observing, writing, reflecting, I think that helps you maintain that 360 degree vision. What else is going on? What led me to this point? Who is who am I seeing over the next few weeks? You know, it's a vision future facing thing as much as a as a reflection in the past, I find and that you write helps me stay that little bit more like a lighthouse looking around, knowing what's coming.
00:41:22:11 - 00:41:53:11
Speaker 1
So, you know, what's funny is I'm able to, because of the journaling work and just general self-care, but particularly through the journaling work, I find myself much more ready to laugh at myself than get frustrated with the situation. Right? Yeah. Like I've noticed little things that would bother me or frustrate me, like if I forgot something or something didn't work properly.
00:41:53:14 - 00:42:14:25
Speaker 1
Like, for example, I got I got a new I got a new iPhone, right? And I thought I was buying I bought the Promax, right. And I thought that it was going to be the next size up from my old phone. But when the phone came in, it turned out that it's the same size as my all time.
00:42:14:25 - 00:42:39:04
Speaker 1
I was on the 11 pro max, but for some reason I thought I was on the 11 pro, not on the max. So long story made very sure when the phone came I just laughed at myself and I'm like, This thing is exactly the same. It's the one I already have had all these dreams of. Oh good, I'll have a bigger phone so I don't have to take my iPad laptop to as many things.
00:42:39:06 - 00:42:59:06
Speaker 1
And then I honestly, I think three or four years ago I would have gone to edit, like I would have actually created some sort of tension. Amy I just, I just said to my wife, You're not going to believe this. I am selling various I was getting some deluxe iPhone, but it's just design.
00:42:59:09 - 00:43:20:25
Speaker 2
Well, I think I think what that example reminds me of is actually that second clip that we heard from from Julie talking to Ali Abdul, which was about that DNA. You know, your AM statements these core beliefs. Yeah. That I think for me at least throughout a lot of my early adulthood and career, I assume that the way you brought up, that's kind of it.
00:43:21:01 - 00:43:55:16
Speaker 2
You know, you're fairly fixed. We're all quite static. And I think there's a lot of people out there who think the same, you know, that they are static and that nothing can ever change. Whereas and again, maybe where we're really selling our journals today, Mike, but through the act of actually writing it down for me, I was able to not only, as you point out, observe and maybe have a little bit more humor, get my reactions and observations, but also just the act of being able to change, being able to not get so irate with small things.
00:43:55:16 - 00:43:57:19
Speaker 1
Exactly. Or.
00:43:57:21 - 00:44:11:08
Speaker 2
You know, that sort of I like the humor piece, but even from like a frustration piece as well, a lot lighter and a lot more able to observe something that's happened, I think. Oh, yeah, you know what? I used to get annoyed by this, but I don't anymore.
00:44:11:09 - 00:44:31:16
Speaker 1
Oh, that's the best. That's the best. When you're like, Oh, I'm not going to let stuff like this bother me. Well, yeah, there's one thing left for us, and that is to let Julie Smith bring it home. I think we've really packaged up generally, not only in this show but in the series for the members. They can check out the master series dedicated to this.
00:44:31:18 - 00:44:43:04
Speaker 1
But I think the I think the argument that we would like to finish on is the universality of journaling for everyone and everything. I think the Journal has a job, don't you?
00:44:43:06 - 00:45:09:19
Speaker 2
Yeah, I think so too. I mean, Mike, maybe we'll just let Julie and Dr. Rangan chatter close the show for us. I think you've made a great pitch, but let's now hear why exactly journaling is really an option for everyone. What is it you like so much about journaling and is it one of those kind of you know, I'm interested as a therapist, are there some universal practices that, yes, we're all unique, We've all got different.
00:45:09:21 - 00:45:16:03
Speaker 2
But are there some things that you found time and time again that always seem to work with people and I guess is journaling one of them?
00:45:16:05 - 00:45:35:25
Speaker 3
Yeah. And today, I guess for people who are able to access things like therapy or counseling and go to see someone and and see that something that's possible to them is fantastic. And there is so much potential in that. But there are also this huge group of people that don't see that as an option for them. Maybe, maybe they're just not able to talk about things.
00:45:36:01 - 00:45:59:24
Speaker 3
And so that's really where the idea of, you know, for everyone actually journaling is an option. And even when I think about back when I was really young, any time that I felt kind of full of emotion or something that I wasn't really clear on or able to understand, I would write stuff down and, and, and I would always have that experience of you write for long enough and you get this kind of, Oh yeah, a bit of clarity on it.
00:45:59:24 - 00:46:37:04
Speaker 3
And, and back then I didn't have any guidance or knowledge about how to do that. It was just kind of expressive writing, I guess. And we found that useful because I wasn't a big talker. And now that I have, you know, the knowledge around the research about, you know, the research on on expressive writing and and journaling in recent years has really opened that up and shown the potentials for it and, and say when it's guided with specific questions, maybe questions that therapists would ask you enables you to then open that up in a private space and be able to get some clarity on things that if you didn't have access to a therapist for
00:46:37:04 - 00:46:44:00
Speaker 3
whatever reason, you might not have had access to. So that's why I think journaling is, you know, a really useful tool.
00:46:44:02 - 00:47:01:15
Speaker 2
When people wants a journal or they think, okay, I like that, Julie, I want to I want to get back to a question I often get asked is what can I just write them in notes and my phone as opposed to rice them out on paper? If people ask you about what do you say.
00:47:01:17 - 00:47:17:12
Speaker 3
If it's the difference between doing it and not doing it, say just do it whatever your medium and I always get hassle for paying such a pen and paper person. I'm going to be such a dinosaur. If you keep saying to me, you know, put everything into electronic diary and I'm like, No, I want my way.
00:47:17:12 - 00:47:25:17
Speaker 2
This is handwritten. I can't do I can't do this stuff. I see other podcast host with their fancy iPads and and I'm like, I can't do that.
00:47:25:17 - 00:47:47:22
Speaker 3
I'm totally old school like that. When I was writing the book, I have that you can see the desk because there was paper everywhere with notes and stuff and it's just how I like to, to do things. So, you know, I can't judge anyone for being on the phone. But actually, if you're on a device, the reality is if you want some quiet protected time, that time's not going to be protected.
00:47:47:22 - 00:48:05:06
Speaker 3
If you're on a screen that also has social media apps, news apps going ping to let you know all that has news headlines, that kind of thing, it's all going to distract you. So I think if you want protected time, then, you know, put your phone in the other room, go into a different room with a pen and paper and see what comes out and see.
00:48:05:09 - 00:48:16:02
Speaker 3
But you could explore the difference. It would be interesting experiment, right, to see if you journaled with one and then the other for a week how that experience was different. So you can play around with it.
00:48:16:05 - 00:48:41:22
Speaker 1
Play around with it. That's really the invitation because I think my you and I have made such a case for journaling, being for everyone and everything, and I'm just so glad that we've done this deep work to study journaling. I found morning pages through doing this series, which has really just been a gift, which has led to me feeling more calmer and peaceful during the day.
00:48:41:22 - 00:48:49:08
Speaker 1
So I'm delighted to have found that. What's the one thing that you found from this show or from this entire series, Mac, about generally?
00:48:49:11 - 00:49:10:15
Speaker 2
Well, I think this whole series has really cemented the practice and the habit of journaling in me probably for life. I think it'll be hard for me now to put it down and never pick it up again, because I just think we've learned together so much proof and and real grounded, foundational proof that this is something that helps.
00:49:10:17 - 00:49:44:17
Speaker 2
So I think that's that's been really, really beneficial for me. But actually the artist dates was a really interesting revelation for me. The idea of dedicating outside of your journal, dedicating some time for you to reflect, to be inspired, to maybe find creativity, whether it's in an art gallery or a coffee shop or just in a walk, being able to carve out some time to really reflect and think about yourself, so to speak, I think has been quite little build for me and something that I've tried to put into practice ever since.
00:49:44:17 - 00:49:50:24
Speaker 2
We've we've been doing that actually. So I think it's it's been a pretty, pretty full series, hasn't it?
00:49:50:24 - 00:50:15:05
Speaker 1
Mike That's been one of the most useful habit building series we've done yet, and we've got a very special episode coming up next up. So we're going to have Shane Parrish and thinking clearly he's brand new book. So if you're into mental models, next week is going to be an absolute cracker. And Mark, do you remember the series that we agreed on doing after thinking?
00:50:15:05 - 00:50:42:06
Speaker 2
Cleary Yes, we are going into a brand new series on Sports Stars. We are going to be covering Mike, Kobe Bryant, Billie Jean King and Phil Jackson, man with 11 rings. So we're going to go off the back of our journaling into a great upset on frameworks and mental models with Shane Parrish straight knocking it out of the park mike into a series in sports.
00:50:42:12 - 00:50:44:10
Speaker 2
It's going to be an action packed month.
00:50:44:12 - 00:51:09:17
Speaker 1
Well, I just want to say thanks to you for joining me on this journaling epic that we have done. And I want to thank you, our listeners, our viewers and our members joining us here for the final installment of the journaling series, Episode 240 with Julie Smith's work. Why has nobody told me this before? And yes, that is a question that Mark and I often are asking.
00:51:09:23 - 00:51:34:18
Speaker 1
And today, though, we started with the idea of how to stop overthinking everything, which kind of a lot of us do. And then we learned how to hack your habits with journaling, how to really uncover the best version of yourself. But part of that was the third step, which was identifying and addressing your needs because you matter. And if you really get into that, you can discover that journaling is an option for everything and everyone.
00:51:34:20 - 00:51:50:02
Speaker 1
And if you do pursue journaling, you'll discover your potential. You'll be the best version of yourself and you'll be able to learn out loud because your ideas will be crisp and creamy. Because that's what we're all about here on the Moonshots podcast, That's a wrap.